It'll be our little secret – Robert Pattinson, Boy Model!

My mom is a Modeling Agent...

My mom is a Modeling Agent...

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus and blog editors and fans everywhere-

Can we all just agree that THIS never happened? And stop posting these pictures everywhere?

It seems like just the moment my brain has been cleansed of these glamor shots a new set of these retched Miu Miu pictures resurface.

Why God, WHY???

And the caption “Robert’s First Time?” If nothing else screams Skeezy McGee, than these do, Star Magazine! Who do you have working for you, some creepy pedi rejects from “To Catch a Predator?” And their whole job is finding disturbing pictures to post from stars first gigs? Where do I sign up??  I mean… uh gross!


My eyes are up here... LADIES???!!

Of all these creepster photos, this one to the right is the one that looks most like Rob NOW but also the most disturbing. The pose, the oddly strewn tie/scarf and what looks like daddy’s old boxers which turns out are apparently swim trunks. WTF was the stylist thinking?

Just please, I beg of you… MAKE IT STOP! Have we not suffered enough this week with the whole TUCK Scandal ’09 and now THESE!

I don’t know how much more my heart can take… I’m gonna have to hit up some old Saturday Morning Delights to cleanse the palette AGAIN.

Loving you no matter what… but please stop!

PS where the heck are some new press pics for NEW MOON?! Hello, Summit? We’re dying… THIS is what we’re dealing with right now, PLEASE for the love of God help a sister (and some brothers) out and throw us some new HOT Edward pics. Or the Wolves! The Wolves…

Pics from Robsessed!

As of this am we are WINNING in the Dazzle Awards! ZOMG! But by like nine votes…. We NEED to win this award that means nothing. WE NEED TO. So vote for us NOW. Vote MULTIPLE TIMES (I find that in order to vote multiple times in a day you have to use different computers and/or different browsers. Perhaps you can head to the library, sign onto all 20 of their computers and use their 2-3 different browsers. kThxBai) Dazzle Awards Biatch

761 Commented




    *clears throat, grabs bullhorn, steps up on soapbox*

Dear Crazy Rob Fans (the bad ones)-

We’ve all now officially seen “THE TUCK” picture and now 5 minutes later I’m already reading complete nonsense about how this picture is ruining Rob’s image and how he’s fat and has back-acne and his pubes are trimmed. I’ve got news for you psychos…


And can we all say a collective “AMEN?” He is NOT Edward with a marble chest, he is Rob, pasty white, somewhat soft in this picture… THAT’S NORMAL! and ya know what? That makes me feel a heck of a lot better about myself cause god knows I don’t look like Megan Fox or have her body and God knows 90% of the Twi-dom doesn’t either! So calm down!

XO, loving you like you are…

*bullhorn screeches, steps off soapbox, goes back to spinning records and making out with rob*

PS dont make me pull out those rings of nibelungs pics again!
PPS if you’ve been living under a rock or caught under some heavy furniture check out the pic at our pals Robsessed

617 Commented

A snowy stroll with the Dadcase


I’ve got a special surprise here for you in the front pocket of my dadcase

Dear Rob-

While we were busy TRYING to migrate servers, you were busy looking loverly in the snow with your dad-like briefcase, which I will now refer to as the “Dadcase,” while wearing your ONE jacket. It got me thinking, what in the world could you possibly be lugging around all over Vancouver in the Dadcase? Seriously, you’re like weighted down with some heavy machinery or something with that thing. You look like a homeless businessman trying to find an open cubicle to plug in to. Oh the possibilities of the Dadcase contents:

-Oldest IBM laptop that weighs 20lbs and has an amber screen
-Brick cell phone
-copies of How to Win Friends and Influence People and your old standby: 7 habits of Highly Effective People
-Agenda for your next Toastmasters seminar

and of course:

– a printed and hand-bound copy of all our letters to you. You treasure each one and read it over black coffee with two sugars in your cubicle while booting up MS DOS and Lotus Notes.

Have a great day at work honey!

PS i love it when you do this wet hair look… please more!

See more pics here

703 Commented

A.R.T.- A Robert Tribute

Dear Rob:


Byrdie hoping to see Robbie!

It is true – I just traveled 1000 miles in some wild hope that you would turn up to the San Jose Cinequest Festival’s screening of How To Be.  How very clever I thought I was by calculating the exact dates of your west coast travel:  Feb 22 – Hollywood California – Oscars.  Feb 28 – San Jose California -Cinequest.  March 3 – Vancouver Canada – pre-production for New Moon.  Made perfect timing, perfect sense, and something you would certainly do to help a fellow brit director out, right?  You are just that kind of classy guy.  Even when you unexpectantly zipped off to Japan for a Feb 27 Twilight Premiere hooha, I knew the International Date Line was working in my favor and you would catch that Narita-SFO nonstop flight touching down at almost the same time my little plane from Seattle did on the 28th.  Of course, we would bump into each other at the international terminal where I would promptly bum a ciggie from you outside baggage claim, but that is another story…

htb-marqueeCut.  Exterior scene.  Crowded line queing beneath a flashing marquee.  Inside, I pick the perfect location by the exit door where certainly you and the director would be entering for the Q&A after the screening.  Just like Austin.  Lights dim, film rolling, music starts and there you are:  A.R.T.

I say A.R.T. because this movie was a tribute to all things Robert (A. Robert. Tribute.) – all those quirky things we absolutely adore about you – your alter ego:  shy, awkward, messy, clumsy, bumbling, giggling and just looking to be loved.  All of my favorite scenes reinforced this very fact:  when your girlfriend dumps you a second time in the bathroom, when you crawl in bed with your parents, when you get an erection (yes, ladies, it was in there) and those girls walk away, or when you give yourself a pep talk in the mirror.  You just wanna be loved, and I’m totally up for the job.



Cut.  Enter director.  Lots of screaming.  No Rob.  More screaming.  Hushed silence.  Director speaks.  Audience asks questions.  Nobody dares to ask the one question we all want to know  – WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH ROB PATTINSON?  Final call for last question.  Brave woman asks the question – WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH ROB PATTINSON?  Crowd goes wild.  Director speaks:  After searching for Art for more than a year, we knew Rob was right for the role because of his uncontrollable giggling. Of course you were.  Who the hell wouldn’t fall madly in love with you the second you started giggling?!? This is what makes you real, Rob, a real piece of A.R.T.

So, let’s see, next trip heading east this time:  May 7 – Vancouver Canada – close local set for New Moon.  May 8 – New York – US Premiere of Little Ashes.  May 10 – Volterra Italy – New Moon European shoot begins.  I’m banking on a 3000 mile trip this time, and I’ll bring the ciggies.

Forever smitten – Byrdie

Um, he gets an ERECTION? That’s a Saturday am Delight right THERE!
But seriously, it wouldn’t be Saturday without an unbelievably hot vid of Rob, so we thought we’d share one Robsessed posted this week. We’ve been loving the girls at Robsessed from afar for awhile and after flirting with them on Twitter this past week, we decided to take the plunge and solidify our friendship yesterday. Rob brings people together y’all (and if he pays any interest to any of you and not me? Well, let’s just forget what I just said about being brought together- you’re going DOWN)


110 Commented

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