The Year I Was Obsessed with Robert Pattinson

Rob- it’s a holiday in the US, as you know since you live here now. Well, yesterday was the holiday, but no one likes when holidays are on weekends so we celebrate them on week days. It’s something we do. It’s the American way. Well, everyone is celebrating except for me (UC) because my job is lame, and I have to work. BOO! Anyway, sit back, relax, grab a hot dog or 3 and enjoy the story about The year Beaspoon was obsessed with you!

Gorgeous in Red. Check. Rich. Check. Rob on her arm. Check. Yep- I hate her

Dear Rob,

I’m loving all of the set pics from WFE, especially the pictures of you and Reese Witherspoon. She and I actually have a LOT in common. My maiden name is Witherspoon, and people used to ask me all the time if I was related to her. Sadly, I’m not, but I digress. She and I also both have daughters named Ava Elizabeth. Reese and I are also both filming movies with you right now. Wait, no, that’s not true I guess. SHE’S filming a movie with you, and I’m making a movie with you in my head. Every day. And night. Big time.

Sometimes I think about what my life was like B.R. That’s “Before Rob” but you probably already guessed that. A year ago, I had never even HEARD of you, can you believe that? Then my twin sister told me she was reading the Twilight saga and I LAUGHED IN HER FACE! “Vampires?!” I said, “You can’t be serious…no way am I reading that juvenile fiction crap.” But, alas, one day later (yeah, I sort of don’t do too well with peer pressure) I was reading “Twilight” and I finished all 4 books in 5 days. I still didn’t know who you were though. So I convinced my husband to watch Twilight with me me (“Vampires! You’ll love it, I am SURE of it!” Yeah, he hated it, but don’t let it get you down, Rob. He was just jealous.) I was, instantaneously, obsessed.

You should know that on the outside, I appear to be a completely normal person. I’m a 29 year old married mother of two, I stay home with my kids and live a pretty great, but simple, life. But on the inside? I’m like a 12 year old girl, pining for you in a way I have never obsessed about another person before. It’s ridiculous. RIDICULOUS! I spend an hour every day reading websites about you. I read Twilight and even Rob fanfiction–I’ve read hundreds of stories starring a completely fictional Rob or Edward! My laptop wallpaper USED to be a picture of my ridiculously cute kids, now it is just ever-changing pictures of YOU. Sigh. My husband hates you, even though he’s been getting awesome sex for a year now, he still can’t stand the mere mention of your name. He totally knows who I’m thinking about when we’re getting down and dirty, he’s just in denial. And I’m not talking about the river in Egypt.

Sometimes I wonder if I will look back on this year in my life and fondly remember it as “The Year I Was Obsessed with Robert Pattinson.” Except my obsession with you doesn’t seem to be waning at all. So maybe this is my life now. You are my life now. Tee hee, I had to slip that in somewhere.

PS–I’m even one of those crazy people that bought an “I Drive Like a Cullen” bumper sticker, but then was too afraid to out myself in public so it’s just sitting in my dresser drawer. Yup, that kind of crazy, Rob.

Crazily Yours,

So I can TOTALLY relate to this. Especially when she said she thought she’d look back and remember this time fondly. I thought this obsession would wane. Its changed, that’s for sure (a Roblosophy for another day!) but it sure hasn’t gone away!!! What about for you!?

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