Open Weekend Post: Finding you, finding me

Dear Rob,

Did you know that there was already another me in Houston before I moved here? She’s not only my doppelganger, she’s also my Lost Sideways-World other, my Anne of Green Gables window-bosom friend.

A year ago the other Sideways-World me was stalking studying you. How do I know she wasn’t watching her two children or meeting deadlines? I have official paper to prove it.

I was reading my Harris County Public Library copy of Bel -Ami this week, their one and only copy that I had to wait two months for. When I needed to bookmark my place so that I could cook dinner for my family, lo and behold, a library receipt was already in the exact place. It wasn’t mine (and, yet, it was mine). Last year, almost to the same day and month, the another-me-in-Houston checked out two books: Water for Elephants and Bel-Ami. (It was at that moment, I looked up and thought John Locke or black smoke or Jimmy Kimmel would enter my bedroom. I had just finished reading the former book a month ago thanks for Harris County Public Library system.)

My kindred spirit was in Houston! She was a Rob lover! A library patron! And, based on the place where she left her library receipt, she also found her own kindred spirit with another married, middle-aged motherly character struggling with trying to let you go (heaving to the high heavens to pity me, err, her). Are you following along, Rob? This is critical information to my happiness, and you of all people know how to make me happy.

You see, I’ve been lurking online and licking reading websites devoted to you (especially the LTT discussion board), feeling ironically alone in my infatuation with you. Now, Rob, I’m happy to know that the Sideways-World me exists, not to mention that I’m proud that she’s already read two new books outside of the Twilight blackhole. It’s about time.

As UC has Moon, I now have me. And we live in the same town.

If you find me before I do, I’m sure you’ve already told her that I’m the spitting image of Reese Witherspoon. Give her a kiss for me. If you want to give her more (andyouknowwhatimean), you may; we are one and the same.

Transporting through time and place,

Finding You Finding Me

Awwwwww—- you guys should MEET! Have you find another “you” in YOUR town!?
Also, I spent some time Googling “Rob Pattinson Doppelganger” (and ‘doppleganger because it seems to be spelled both ways) and came up with these two options over & over again. Who else might be Rob’s Doppelganger?

FYI: Labor Day is this Monday in the US.  For you non-Americans that means hot dogs, volleyball, one last swim in the pool & no wearing white starting on Tuesday and going through Memorial Day in May (lame- I will be in ALL white Tuesday to protest) So….. don’t look for a new LTT or LTR- we’ll be back on Tuesday with something spectacular (if I don’t go into a veggie hot dog coma on Monday)!!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Open Weekend Post: The Museum of Rob

This weekend we’re getting a little cultured as we visit the Museum of Rob!

Dear Rob,

When I saw the headline a few months back, “Rob Pattinson Gets Waxed” it was a bit of a shock. WHAT were you waxing and WHY?? But no, to my relief your pubes were intact and the article was about your new figure at Madame Tussauds! There was pandemonium on opening day! Women lined up to have their pic taken with you and to run their hands through your fake hair! It kind of looks like you, but there’s something a little off. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick wax Rob out of bed, but it’s not quite you. The clothes, the posture, the eyes-it’s just a bit off. But seeing you in that “museum” got me thinking-Rob,you deserve more than a cheesy wax effigy. You deserve your OWN museum. Sure, you’ve only been famous for a few years, but to me, you are a work of art. So I started tossing around some ideas…

Welcome to The Museum of Rob
Containing artifacts spanning over twenty-four years.

Item: Policeman’s hat.
Materials: plastic
Date: c.1990
Donated by: Mrs. Diana Nutley
Provenance: Pattinson family attic.

a

Item: Child’s leash
Materials: leather, metal
Date: 1989
Donated by: Mrs. Diana Nutley
Provenance: Used to protect Rob from himself on the playground.

a

Item: Miu Miu swim trunks
Materials: nylon
Date: 2002
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain unknown.
Provenance: Worn by Rob in an unfortunate photoshoot.

a

Item: Wand
Materials: Ash, Unicorn(?) Hair
Date: 2004
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous.
Provenance: This is the wand used by Rob in the fourth Harry Potter film. We are thrilled to have Rob’s wand on display.

Item: Beanie
Materials: Wool
Date: 2008
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous.
Provenance: Worn daily by Rob in a futile attempt to disguise his hair.

a

Item: Plaid shirt
Materials: Cotton, plastic
Date: 2009
Donated by: M. Foster
Provenance: this is a particularly rare and coveted piece, as it was worn consecutively by all members of the Brit Pack. Unwashed.

a

Item: Beard Stubble
Materials: Human hair
Date:2009
Donated by: Hotel cleaning staff
Provenance: Undisclosed hotel, bathroom sink.

a

Item: One half of size 36C nude bra
Materials: Nylon, cotton, tape
Date: 2009
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous
Provenance: Rob’s privates, used unsuccessfully as “modesty patch” during filming.

I’d pay to see just to see the modesty patch!

-dazzledtodeath

What other artifacts of Rob’s life would YOU pay to see in a Rob museum!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

116 Commented

Open Weekend Post: Smart girl

Dear this girl,

I’m so sorry you were featured on Failblog. When I first saw it, I was outraged. “WHAT!? THIS IS FAILURE? No no no… this is brilliant” was my first thought. Let’s break it down piece by piece.

First of all, we have your outfit. There’s the thick-rimmed glasses with a high necked striped tshirt. We can’t see down below, but I’m going to guess you’re in a nice cargo pant or maybe a carpenter jean. Plus your hair! Nothing says “Let me go down on you now’ like a freshly slept on mousy-brown side ponytail. You’re looking HOT, hunny.

And then there’s the sign itself. You obviously put a lot of time into making sure it was spelled right, placing the dash between the “blow” and “jobs” and even using the correct form of “you’re!” This is a rare quality found in a Twilight fan with a sign! Thanks for making us Rob-fans look good!

And lastly, there’s the courage you displayed by just putting it out there. We all laugh & talk big about what we’d do to Rob behind a dumpster, but would we wear our 7th grade finest and show up on a street in LA with unwashed hair and declare it to the world on a SIGN? I don’t know if I have the balls- but you clearly did. And for that, I think you should be rewarded and not ridiculed by all the readers of the internet.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that if Rob were to pass you on the street today, he’d first notice you by your gimpy hand (those with gimpy feet tend to notice others with a similar disability). And after taking a second look, he’d consider asking you for your t-shirt. And then, his eyes would drift toward your sign- and the connection would happen. The magicness that is usually reserved for Robsten would become yours and Robs only. And despite his fear of getting blown by a girl wearing a retainer, he’d lead you to the nearest dumpster & let you show perform your first act of fellatio ever.

Wish I had thought of it first!

You have a fan in me,
UnintendedChoice

Please let this girl be kidding. Please. Please. Please. Please

Moon & I were just talking today about how we miss super hot & creative Rob vids. It seems like it’s been awhile since we saw the last one. Well, I came across this new video & while it’s not as flashy as some videos of the past, I think you’ll like what it’s offering:

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

70 Commented

Open Weekend Post: It’s that time again!

Dear Rob,

It’s that time again! It’s Eclipse promo time! Are you excited!? Are you over it!? Are you utterly exhausted? I am, and I don’t LIVE your life- I just attempt to keep up with it.

I’m excited about Eclipse interviews because I’m ready for something new. I’m not sure I even saw all your New Moon interviews in complete. They were… well, kinda boring. No- not all of them. There were some highlights now and again, but between those interviews & the seemingly never-ending Remember Me promo, I’ve just REALLY been missing the good old days. So it is MY hope that Eclipse promo ends up looking something a little like this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unmGW6FhtRA&feature=related]

GAH- this is MY Edward!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HNQJwfchVg&feature=related]

Best.Interview.EVER “Oh, you chose her as well!”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_xFjQG-LSg&feature=related]

And the bloopers!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejgVNsOkEkY&feature=related]

And everything so unscripted

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48GEiCoDFHo]

AH! I miss those days! Promise me we’ll get interviews AT LEAST as good as these! We deserve it! You know we do!!!

(Would it help if I had Moon track you down and exchange your water bottle with a vodka bottle? You’d probably not even notice…!)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What’s YOUR Favorite Older Rob interview? Share in the comments! You can embed your videos directly into the comments by pasting the embed code RIGHT in the comment section- however, it will be TOO big, so when you paste the code, you’ll see “width” followed by a number in TWO different places. You’ll see “height” in TWO places too! Change to: width=”392″ height=”238″ in BOTH places & the video will be perfect!

Don’t forget to vote for our friend Tran!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

118 Commented