Rob & Reese “reconnect” at sea

Dear Rob,

Moon & I heard you & Reese were on the front cover of Entertainment Weekly magazine. You know what that means! Time to “Break it down vanity fair style!”

The one where we need Robsessed

UC: so I hear there are new Rob pics? I assume there are scans at Robsessed? ps.. what if Robsessed didn’t exist? I don’t know a single other Rob blog except some that won’t post paparazzi pics. and what’s the point?
Moon: right Robsessed better never leave us
UC: you better DO US good Robsessed with these supposed EW pics…. I do not have the energy go to back to the grocery store & pick up a copy (but.. by the way I didn’t SEE it when I was at the check out counter.. maybe it’s not out yet? leaked early?)
Moon: its out tomorrow
UC: look at you! do you know a mailman?
Moon: I’m doing the newstand guy so i can get this kind of info
UC: good idea!
Moon: the dirty persian newsstand owner
UC: yeah.. no bother that he smells like falafel- you gotta get your news
Moon: hot and heavy for 5 minutes behind the BUSINESS section then i get as many mags as i can hold

The one where we say “Awww” while laughing

UC: awww i just saw the pic!

UC:HAH!! FIRST thought. Rob is thinking, “I’m kinda a big deal”
Moon: AWWWWWWW. I laughed and then did a side head tilt “aw”
UC: hahhahaha! Me too!! I said “AWWW” but was also really laughing
Moon: THIS is how you do a cover (though I’m not a fan of that shirt) I like the smirk! ps poor Reese has the HUGE title “TWILIGHT” right over her!! Rob from twilight is in this new movie about elephants and oh here’s Reese saying something about him
UC: I feel like she’s looking at her husband… proud of a recent business accomplishment
Moon: yea like this is their country club membership photo
Moon: or they’re brother and sister sitting for a picture for their dad’s birthday gift
UC: This is at “Casino” night at the Yacht club
Moon: like they might have been extras in dirty dancing or Titantic
UC: I’m giggling like a fool. I feel like he just won the grand prize on Celebrity Apprentice. Trump just told him he’s been hired
Moon: or they went on a Carnival cruise and this is the fancy dress up dinner night- or this might also be their christmas card. The kids got cut out. This is the photo from Rob’s monthly real estate newsletter for his realty company. “Single family homes AVAILABLE!”
UC: Its what Reese uses in her pampered chef newsletter to encourage her clients to buy more neat kitchen gadgets. “You can please your man like I please mine””
Moon: he loves the Pillsbury crescent dough mini pizza. “Get a 2 for 1 apple, peeler, corer, slicer if you order and use the code “Robpple””
Moon: Or this is the photo in the newspaper during the city counsel election season the week before Rob is found at a bar with the hot neighbor lady. Escalando!
UC: YES! He’s running for city counsel…. And she just wants him home at night in time for dinner
Moon: she has new crescent dough recipes to try on him before her “parties”
UC: wow I read that as “panties”
Moon: the mini pizzas are panty shaped. Bachelorette party!

The one with the cruise

UC: Uh oh! They’re getting crazzzzzy on the cruise! The photographer wanted him to do the dip… they went crazy & she showed some leg
Moon: WOAH this is after the couples ballroom dancing class! Johnny and baby were the instructors. This is Reese’s new FB profile pic to make all the housewives on their block jealous
UC: she is gorgeous!
Moon: SO photogenic. Like he’s hot, clearly, but I’m looking at her
UC: That hair! I realize they did that RIGHT before they pressed the shutter button on the camera… but still I like to pretend some people have great hair all the time like that and then be jealous.
Moon: I’m a Reecbian!
UC: ME TOO. Seeing that pic made me NOT put that last pretzel in my mouth- since I basically ate the whole bag.
Moon: i shoved the last gummy worm in my mouth. I still cant get over that collar. Is it supposed to be like that?! Pull that shit down!!!
UC: Pull that shirt OFF! Whoa- watch me go!

The one where we accidentally make fun of mom blogs

Moon: she looks SO sassy stay-at-home-mom. She blogged the whole cruise on her mom blog
UC: YEP. went “Thrifting” right before they left & found this vintage find. She posted it on her blog: (tag line: And Billy, Elizabeth & Rob Jr.)
Moon: They miss the kids but REALLY needed to get away and “reconnect.” It’s been a busy election season, lots of pampered chef parties, lots of thrifting and anthro knock off designs around the house
UC: The cruise was necessary because “Bob” (the name only she’s allowed to call him) could only be on his black berry when they were close to land, which was every day but for just a few hours. It was paradise
Moon: tomorrow’s post from the cruise is going to be close ups of all the plates of food they ate and abstract shots of the midnight buffets
UC: and maybe if we’re lucky, a self portrait of them snuggling in bed.. sharing a pillow
Moon: and a funny one with Rob and the animal the maids made out of towels
UC: He paid them an extra $10 to make an elephant every day.

Read a few entries from Reece’s blog after the jumping Rob! Continue…

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