Are you gonna make me beg again? We haven’t seen you anywhere, no sightings, no videos, no awkward drive thru scenarios, no underwear buying, no nothing! All we have are some rumors about you riding a bike around Baton Rouge and learning to sail a boat…..zzzzzzzz… OH Sorry dear, I fell asleep there for a second I was so bored.
I know I’ve begged for you to come around before and I’ve begged for you to go away but I don’t care! You need to show your face. UC and I need something to talk about besides what our college friends are up to on Facebook or how I need to visit her on the east coast (I KNOW!). So PLEASE Rob, come out, come out wherever you are!!!
Since we’re at a complete lose for anything to yak about how about we just remember all my favorite things about you?
You, as Daniel Gale in the Bad Mother’s Handbook. Of course the rainbow sweater is classic but this scene is about as amazing as your O face here.
That nasty shower in Remember Me. Can I join you?
Whenever I’m missing “Old Rob” or want to laugh I head straight for the “Best of Robert Pattinson” videos on Youtube. That and a stiff drink and then everythings good.
you and Tom hanging out with that hot piece, Andrew Garfield last year. Sure, you’re all pretty haggard looking here but it’s the potential of what could be. You should all hang out more often. Like EVERY DAY. Please.
This thing that someone made of all your faces from the Taft video thingy.
My favorite favorite favoritest part of Remember Me
aaaannnnddd from the ALWAYS awesome PetitBiel one of her rad videos…
This makes me smile.
So that’s where we’re at Rob. I’m posting old stuff that I like about you. Please go to KFC or a Crawfish Boil or get drunk in NOLA and declare an early Mardi Gras as you flash your man nips while Kellan throws some beads at you, ya know, whatever just do something!
Your faithful blogger,
What is your favorite Rob? Have a picture or video we should see? Post them in the comments and let’s commiserate together until Rob comes back.
Sources: Robsessed, Youtube, PattinsonLife, We Heart It, the annals of my hard drive, my fantasies.
It’s Friday so I’m thinking about RobPorn, naturally. Do you remember when we started the RobPorn phenomenon? It was to be like the book “Porn for Women” with shirtless dudes ironing & stuff. It was you doing “hot” stuff around the house for us. It was soooooo innocent. And it’s been taken to a WHOLE other level. Some of it is funny, of course, and we’ve joined in on the pg-13 non-innocence time and again, but then there is the porn that is um.. wayyyy too far. You know what I mean: You going down on a girl. You showing pubic hair. Zooming in on actual pictures of your nether regions. (Perfect example: NSFW) We get it. You have a d*ck. You have sex. You possible know where to find the little man in the boat. I don’t actually need to see manips of it.
So I thought I’d google “RobPorn” to see what kind of gems there are out there. Turns out we’ve posted a ton! So today I’m re-posting some of my favorites, as well as a few non-LTR creations. Oh, and one new one for good measure:
Let’s get physical serious. Last week I was chatting with lula34 about our male celebrity boyfriends. She showed me a recent video clip of her True Blood boyfriend Alex Skarsgard & then we passed out from love over the latest Chuck Bass/Gossip Girl promo with Too_Far_Gone.
Then we said “Remember at the end of Vampire Diaries when we watch the last romantic scene of the season involving Damon the vampire over and over and over” and we reminisced by watching “The kiss” you tube clip over and over and over again. And got excited for the return of THAT show. Yeah, it was a good day. NSFW day.
But Then it hit me. I love strong sexual characters. Chuck Bass & Damon Salvator? Hellooooo. And lula34 loves Alex the vampire (who is pretty sexy even though I’m not a True Blood watcher) and prays every night for dream sex with British hunk Jason Statham. Helloooooo.
So….why do we like you again? You’re not the dick that Chuck Bass is; you’re not an aggressive, cocky guy like Damon Salvator. You’re not overly sexual or full of yourself or anything like those other celebrities or characters we love so much. I posed the question to lula34:
UC: Wait… why am I attracted to Rob again? When normally I like much more sexual male characters? Lula34: If I were to write fan fiction, it’d be about me, Jason [Statham], Alex [Skarsgard] & Ed [Westwick from Gossip Girl]. And a bottle of Thousand Island dressing. UC: Hahaha dear lord- I cannnottttt wait for GG. I need Ed in my life Lula34: Yes. I also need Damon. And all the angst that will ensue on VD. But mostly Chuck Bass. He is a legend. UC: I’d take both… If I had to!!! Why have I liked Rob all this time when I’m obviously attracted to much stronger sexual characters??? Edward!? Is that the ONLY reason!? Lula34: That’s SUCH a tremendous question. This must be discussed, because a friend asked me this the other day–why I love the “bad boys” but still have a “thing” for Rob. I don’t know why- Ron is the utter opposite of chuck bass! Chuck makes me shiver. Yeah, I said it. UC: Me too- let’s become actresses so we can become lovers to all these different men
What's good about THIS?
Now before you go boohooing into your pillow because you just found out we spend all this time talking about men other than you, don’t worry- we’re not saying “Let’s give up on Rob because he’s not filled with STDs like Chuck Bass” NO no no… we’re saying, how can we like BOTH Bad boy, sexual aggressors like Chuck Bass and also like YOU- shy, humble terribly sexy but refuses to admit the fact or play up the sexualness, Rob?
Is it because you played Edward? And sure, Edward is sexxxxxyyyyy- but…. he’s not like those other sexually aggressive guys we mentioned… so it’s probably not just that.
Is it because we’ve been brain-washed by GQ and Details & all the other sexy magazines where you’ve done photoshoots and we’ve lost DAYS of productive work as a result?
Or….. is it because we all THINK that under that humble, shy demeanor there is a sexual maniac waiting to escape!? That if we got you in a room and chained you to a wall you willingly were into us, the ‘front’ you put on for the media & the public would disappear and you’d bring out the sexy bad boy whose only mission in life is to get.it.on with ME!?
I think that might be it. Because, if I’m honest (and I’m always honest), if you are humble, shy and sensitive in every area of your life, including your private life, what in my fantasies sounds like this:
throwing me up against the wall, ripping off my clothes, touching places I didn’t know liked to be touched
might actually be more like this
lightly pushes me to the wall Rob: Oh no! Did I hurt you? Did I push you too hard? UC: No, no it’s fine, just kiss me cute little nibbles & kisses down my cheek & neck Rob: May I take off your shirt?” UC: Uh, sure… fumbling. confusion. UC: You okay? Rob: Can we turn on the lights a second? I want to see how this bra claps works- I haven’t felt anything like this before later UC: You’re so hottttt
I hate that I hurt you.....
Rob: blushing Really? You mean it? I thought I looked too much like my dad today….. a long time later Rob: Is this okay? Am I hurting you? Does this feel good UC: yes.. shhhh Rob: tell me if it starts to feel weird. Does this feel right? I think maybe this is better? How about here? Here? UC: STOP IT IT’S FINE Rob: bursts into tears I’m sorry. I wanted this to be perfect…….
And that’s not cool…….
So yes, it’s odd that I’m attracted to both you and Chuck Bass, Damon Salvator & other over-sexualized characters when you seem so different. But I have to think deep down, behind that humble, sensitive, charming British demeanor is a bad boy…. yearning to do real bad things to me….
What do YOU think? Are you “into” celebs or characters that are quite “opposite” of who Rob appears to be? Why do you think you are? Is Rob’s humble demeanor just a public front- underneath he knows you want him and he’s happily going to oblige!?
You’re back on the set of Water for Elephants and you’ve been seen all over the LA area wearing tuxes and dirty clothes and my newest favorite: riding boots and (kinda, not really) jodpurs. Maybe it’s the jodpurs and thinking of my grandma telling stories about hers and seeing picture or maybe it’s those riding boots but I love it. All I can think about is the song “Pony” by Ginuwine. “My pony, let’s do it, ride it my Rosie!”
My saddle's waiting, come and jump on it!
Here’s to hoping instead of period appropriate music they use mid 90s R&B songs by men with misspelled stage name in Water for Elephants!
Let’s do it!
PS Happy 4th of July to the folks who live in the States! Enjoy!!!!!
Does anyone else love mid 90s R&B like me? Doesn’t it work perfectly with Rob? Are you more excited about Water for Elephants that Bel Ami? Cause I am!
Dear Rob, I've found this site that writes letters to you every day... they seem like swell gals, you should meet them!
Today, we were supposed to take a “day of rest” to prepare for our upcoming interview with Stephenie Meyer by NOT blogging and instead focusing on the books and our questions. Then I went to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and I met your folks and well, that idea went out the window.
I LOVE your parents. Not don’t let this get weird. You know we’ve written plenty of letters to your parents over the past year or so and they’ve even become somewhat of little mascots around here. Who wouldn’t love Dick (our pet name for him) and Clare. That was until I MET them and now I REALLY love them…
Let me back up. I got tickets to the Tonight Show and ran my booty over there and as the Gods would have it Ashley and I got sat a few rows away from the front right in front of you and Jay Leno, so we were in prime position for what I now call one of your best interviews. You doted on your parents for a majority of the interview, reading emails from your Dad, talking about your mom reading tabloid magazines and generally trying to make them blush. It was FAN-DAMN-TASTIC! Dean even looked at me during a commercial break. Maybe he noticed the gleam in my eye or maybe it was the fact I was on the aisle just mere feet away from you in your SUIT but he smiled at me. And I had that moment of “HE KNOWS!!” Then Emma Roberts said she was Team Jacob (are you CRAY CRAY, did you see the skinny tie, girl?) and you told that bitch where to go. And that was that.
Have you seen this skinny tie and the suit I'm wearing?!
We thought that’d be the end of it and we’d be on our way… WRONG. So we filed out after the taping and stopped to talk to some fellow LA Twi/Rob fans and noticed some folks hanging around waiting for the celebs’ cars to leave. We saw what we thought was Rob’s with Dean in the front seat and thought it was time to leave. THEN your parents walked out and some of the lingering fans clapped and yelled for them to come over. And what do they do? They grab their camera and COME OVER! After your mom took a picture of the people waiting around to talk to them I knew they were super cool. Pattinson family scrapbook!
They were so cool that even though they felt silly signing Twilight books (wtf, people?!) they did it anyway and acted gracious as the group gave them a billion compliments. One being Ashley who thanked them for having such a great son. AWWWWW! Come on, what parent doesn’t want to hear that? Then being the dad he is Dick decided to ramble on and tell us some stories, he didn’t know you even read his emails! As I asked him for a picture (I know, I don’t know what came over me, I NEVER do that, it was the power of Dick!) he happily agreed and grabbed me into a hug to capture this amazing moment in time. FINALLY I met one of our favorite people here at LTR: DICK PATTINSON!
Even though I’m cheesin’ pretty hard I think this deserves to be my Christmas card, “We’ve moved” announcement, my twitter avi, my AIM/gchat avi, the background on my desktop, and framed on my mantle. Ok, maybe I won’t go that far, but this was an epic moment no doubt.
As your Dad continued to tell me about their rental Jeep, Clare was over talking to some other people and signing some stuff…
She’s smokin’ hot Rob, I know that’s weird for you but it’s true. Work it OUT sister.
Then as Dick told me about how the GPS system in the Jeep has an English accent and I told him it’s as if he never left home, Clare came back and told Dick (or Rich, as she calls him) that they had to be off. I guess to do whatever it is that Dick and Clare do on a Tuesday afternoon in LA (be awesome?). I took this picture of Dick still telling me about the GPS and you being busy until the weekend and Clare having to drag him off… I love dads.
This is pretty much the best picture ever.
So that’s how it went down. Me and your parents just chilling in a parking lot in Burbank being awesome, talking about Jeep’s and GPS’s and your work schedule, you know just another Tuesday. I also decided that I will be starting Letters to Dick (LTD) tomorrow. Hope you’re cool with that.
Next stop? Pattinson Family Christmas!
Srsly, how epic is this?! I would NEVER normally ask anyone for a picture but this was just too good. Did you watch Rob on Leno? Do you agree with how great it was? And the suit… THE SUIT. Oh man.