Rob, seriously?

Dear Rob,

Are you gonna make me beg again? We haven’t seen you anywhere, no sightings, no videos, no awkward drive thru scenarios, no underwear buying, no nothing! All we have are some rumors about you riding a bike around Baton Rouge and learning to sail a boat…..zzzzzzzz… OH Sorry dear, I fell asleep there for a second I was so bored.

I know I’ve begged for you to come around before and I’ve begged for you to go away but I don’t care! You need to show your face. UC and I need something to talk about besides what our college friends are up to on Facebook or how I need to visit her on the east coast (I KNOW!). So PLEASE Rob, come out, come out wherever you are!!!

Since we’re at a complete lose for anything to yak about how about we just remember all my favorite things about you?


You, as Daniel Gale in the Bad Mother’s Handbook. Of course the rainbow sweater is classic but this scene is about as amazing as your O face here.


this.


That nasty shower in Remember Me. Can I join you?


Whenever I’m missing “Old Rob” or want to laugh I head straight for the “Best of Robert Pattinson” videos on Youtube. That and a stiff drink and then everythings good.


you and Tom hanging out with that hot piece, Andrew Garfield last year. Sure, you’re all pretty haggard looking here but it’s the potential of what could be. You should all hang out more often. Like EVERY DAY. Please.


OH HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyy (thud)


This thing that someone made of all your faces from the Taft video thingy.


My favorite favorite favoritest part of Remember Me

aaaannnnddd from the ALWAYS awesome PetitBiel one of her rad videos…

This makes me smile.

So that’s where we’re at Rob. I’m posting old stuff that I like about you. Please go to KFC or a Crawfish Boil or get drunk in NOLA and declare an early Mardi Gras as you flash your man nips while Kellan throws some beads at you, ya know, whatever just do something!

Your faithful blogger,
Themoonisdown

What is your favorite Rob? Have a picture or video we should see? Post them in the comments and let’s commiserate together until Rob comes back.

Sources: Robsessed, Youtube, PattinsonLife, We Heart It, the annals of my hard drive, my fantasies.

129 Commented


Rob is a rumored Oscar contender and Grammy nominee, Daytime Emmy and Nobel Peace Prize contender. Right.

Oh hey, just me, future Oscar nominee

Dear Rob,

Today I clicked on a tweet promising me set pictures from Water for Elephants and I was greeted with picture of you in a tux and clip on bowtie (tsk tsk) but I was also greeted with an opening line of “Rumored Oscar contender Robert Pattinson…” UM wait a second?! HOLD THE PHONE. Rumored Oscar contender? Did I miss something here. Were you in a movie that was worthy of Oscar buzz? I’m pretty sure the Academy will laugh in the face of anything Twilight because so-called real movie critics love to hate on it. And well we all know Remember Me had it’s moments of not so greatness. And then there’s Harry Potter, but I’m pretty sure the Oscars are given out on a yearly basis and as awesome as ruddy-cheeked Cedric Diggory is, there’s NO way you’d be nominated for that. SO my only assumption can be that this is a rumor about Water for Elephants.

Yes, the Water for Elephants that is CURRENTLY still in production. Who knew about a month into filming that you could already be getting buzz for award season TWO years from now, because if Water for Elephants comes out in 2011 that means it won’t be eligible till 2012! So you can see why I’m quite surprised. This got me to thinking… what else could you be rumored to be nominated for in the future that we don’t know about yet…

  • Robert Pattinson rumored Grammy Award nominee for his rap album “Bros before Hoes” with the chart topping singles “Drivin’ Dirty,” “Some call it Bitchface, I just call you a bitch,” “Drop it like a Hot Pocket,” and collaborations with NAS and a posthumous duet with Biggie Smalls “It’s all about (Summit’s) Benjamin’s.”

Beauty school drop out, missed your midterms and flunked Shampoo

  • Robert Pattinson rumored Tony Award nominee for hisr role as Teen Angel in the Grease Revival on Broadway in 2025 after your career wanes, your bald spot can’t be covered up you get kicked off the judges panel on American Idol and your Grammy Award winning music career tanks.
  • Robert Pattinson rumored 2040 Daytime Emmy Award nominee for his role on Days of Our Lives as Jake Storm the new guy in town with a checkered past who comes into Salem and sweeps Sammy off her feet against Roman and Marlena’s pleas for Sammy to be careful. She has the kids to think of now after all. Will Beau and Hope be able to escape the blizzard and make it to the shot gun wedding in time to warn Sammy about Jake? Or will the dastardly Stefano finally ruin the Horton’s good name forever?
  • Robert Pattinson rumored Pulitzer Prize winner 2015 for his investigative journalism into the sweat shops behind the Hot Topic and NECA retailers that produce Twilight merchandise. A tribute is paid to an especially moving portion of the piece introduces us to Johnny, a 9 year old boy who is tasked with putting the pea coats on Edward Cullen action figures.
  • Robert Pattinson rumored Nobel Peace Prize winner of 2012 for his work in helping bring peace between Team Edward and Team Jacob and Robsten and Nonsten. Your work at the negotiation table between the opposing sides was awe-inspiring, vindicating and impressive. Not many people would mediate talks between these camps without a flack jacket on.

So it looks like you’ve got a full career ahead of you, if these rumors are true. My only hope is that someday you win “Best of Show” at the Westminster Dog Show for your award winning English Bulldogs that you and TomStu breed on your country farm.

Rumored Best Blogger Ever (in her own mind) nominee,
Themoonisdown

Does it seem a bit soon to be calling Rob’s turn as Jacob Jankowski in Water for Elephants a contender for the Oscars? What about the Tony’s or the Nobel Peace Prize? What else should Rob be nominated for?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

95 Commented


Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Angry Rob and Ludacris!

Dear Rob,

We meet Stephenie Meyer yesterday and we talk about it at LTT. You should read it. Now.

But one of the things we discussed which we will get into much further detail at a later date is how hot “Edward” and in turn you are when you’re all pissed off or fighting. We’ve talked about it like a billion times here before and I even mentioned how someone should make a video with all your fight moments put with my favorite pissed off song “Get Back” by Ludacris and well what do you know it we got one! Ask and ya shall receive.

Corie was kind enough to create this piece of smokin’ hot video for us to feast our eyes on while we recover from the happy-time-explosion in our brains from meeting Stephenie yesterday. So here we go..


If this is looking whacky in your window, watch it here!

Srsly though, we met Stephenie Meyer!!!

I came, I saw… I hit em right there in the jaw!
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

62 Commented


Remember Me DVD will feature a Rob commentary: There is a God!

Dear Rob,

Since Summit’s no dummy they’re releasing Remember Me on DVD this month during the big Eclipse PR bonanza. They probably realize they really only have you until Breaking Dawn is over so they’re gonna milk it for all it’s worth. Which is smart. So since we’re gonna have access to your hot sex scenes and fight scenes from the comfort of our own bedrooms on June 22nd the press is starting to roll out. I just caught this feature on the LA Times blog that drops some seriously good info on your DVD COMMENTARY!!!! Whoohooo!! If there was one thing missing from the New Moon DVD it was you on the commentary but thank you baby Jesus, Summit forced wrangled you into a sound studio to record what I’m sure to be awesomeness we will love for all time.

So of course I have a few things to say about it…

Taking the lead for our favorite factoid: Pattinson’s dirty journaling. Playing the broody Tyler, the actor spent most of the film scrawling mysteriously in a leather-bound notebook. “On set I kept on going up to Rob and saying, ‘You’ve got to write in your journal, mate,'” producer Nick Osbourne said.

Said Pattinson: “I remember writing all these kind of pornographic poems, whenever there was a close-up on it. Horrible, horrible things in bold capital letters.”

So far I've come up with Boob, moob, tube, scoob, dube...

I can only imagine this going down… you trying to figure out how to rhyme words like boobs and ass with Heineken and kick ass. It’s truly the only way you can describe your favorite stuff. This explains those pained expressions you were making in the movie. It wasn’t you emoting about losing your brother or having a strained relationship with your dad, it was you thinking REALLY hard about how many syllables are in cunnilingus.

Other amazing insights into Rob’s soul include …

His sex scene was scary: Pattinson was “terrified” during his boom-boom moment with De Ravin. More so, he was sympathetic to the director of photography, “who had to look deep into my … crack for a long time.”

Crack is whack ya’ll even if you’re filming a love scene and you have a weird bra type modesty pouch over your man bits. No one needs to see the crack of doom.

His mother was appalled at the thought of a tattoo: Pattinson’s character has his brother’s name inked on his left pec as a memorial. When his mom saw it in the “Remember Me” trailer, she called him immediately. “I was like, ‘Really, do you think I tattooed ‘Michael’ on my chest?”

Wait, Tom is spelled T-O-M?! NOOOOOO my tattoo is all wrong

No, but you would definitely get a tattoo of “Tom” on your chest… or maybe Rob + Tom = bros 4 life (In old English of course) Next to an Olin Mills style portrait tattoo of you two.

Fans take note — when in Los Angeles, he reads scripts in a fast-food restaurant parking lot: “I was in an In ‘N Out burger car park where I used to always read scripts. … I realized I liked the character Tyler in the first four pages.” Perhaps he celebrated with a Double-Double.

USED TO?!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s about exactly two In-n-Outs this could be and that kills me. I guess this saves me from looking like a creeper by hanging out in the In-n-Out parking lot for hours on end knocking on windows and looking in the back seat for you.

He’s not shy about his frustrations with the paparazzi: As the film’s New York shoot was plagued with photogs, almost every scene in the “Remember Me” commentary comes with some anecdote about the invasive shutterbugs. “They showed absolutely no respect for anything,” Pattinson remarks.

I’m not sure I would classify those crazy whacko pyscho girls who chased you down paparazzi but Harvey Levin might give them an internship at TMZ at least.

Big dramatic fight scenes (like in, um, “Eclipse”) bore him: Pattinson gets roughed up by costar Chris Cooper in the film, and loved every minute of it. “It’s probably the most fun I’ve ever had in a scene,” he says of being slammed against the hood of a car. “Normally the fights are so choreographed, it makes it boring.”

Must. resist. this. video. clip. send. help. now. can't. resist.

Oh we loved every minute of it too… maybe a little too much Rob. I seriously contemplated my sanity after I watched that video of you filming that fight scene like 50 times. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle having it in a high def version in my own house. A hit of the good stuff any time I need it.

Rob does a mean Barney Gumble: Pattinson randomly bursts out in an impression of resident derelict Barney from “The Simpsons” on the commentary track. And it’s actually pretty spot on.

I’m crossing my fingers he does his best Patty and Selma impression on the Eclipse DVD commentary. Nothing like a hot man impersonating the voices of a couple cougarish chain smoking sisters. HOT.

As you can tell I’m super excited about the possibilities of the DVD commentary only this means I may have to enter rehab to get me off the bad stuff that fight scene clip. And now that I’ve finally figured out who Aidan looks like (my old high school crush/bff/boyfriend stolen by my friend) I can finally stop staring at him wondering how I ‘know’ him and watch that fight scene. Again.

The answer’s four, in case you were wondering…
Themoonisdown

Who’s looking forward to this DVD release now that we know we’ll get a Rob commentary! Maybe he’ll eat “cheeseburgahs” and tell the guys he gets in a fight with to “be simple guys.”

Business Time:

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Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

134 Commented


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