GASP… ROBERT PATTINSON IS HUMAN!!

I AM HUMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

*clears throat, grabs bullhorn, steps up on soapbox*

Dear Crazy Rob Fans (the bad ones)-

We’ve all now officially seen “THE TUCK” picture and now 5 minutes later I’m already reading complete nonsense about how this picture is ruining Rob’s image and how he’s fat and has back-acne and his pubes are trimmed. I’ve got news for you psychos…

HE’S AN AVERAGE GUY!!!!!!!

And can we all say a collective “AMEN?” He is NOT Edward with a marble chest, he is Rob, pasty white, somewhat soft in this picture… THAT’S NORMAL! and ya know what? That makes me feel a heck of a lot better about myself cause god knows I don’t look like Megan Fox or have her body and God knows 90% of the Twi-dom doesn’t either! So calm down!

XO, loving you like you are…
Themoonisdown

*bullhorn screeches, steps off soapbox, goes back to spinning records and making out with rob*

PS dont make me pull out those rings of nibelungs pics again!
PPS if you’ve been living under a rock or caught under some heavy furniture check out the pic at our pals Robsessed

617 Commented

Business up front, party in the back

Mullet or neck warmer?

Sweetie-

I hope that since you’re sorta a big deal now (at least to us) that we’ll never have to see you in a cheap wig like the one in these “Ring of the Nibelungs” pictures. You see I simply couldn’t pick JUST ONE cause I was laughing too hard. I mean really you look like some sort of low budget King Arthur/Joe Dirt hybrid.

Smooches,
Me (themoonisdown)

PS this IS a wig, right? babe…
PPS while you’re at it, WTF is a Nibelung?

(click this beautiful image to enlarge if you dare… or if you’re having a bad day. trust!)

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