Top 7 reasons Rob Pattinson wasn’t at the afterparty

Dear Rob,

From signs bearing your name (“Ron”) to seeing you in action on the red carpet, to being mere INCHES away from your face, Monday night’s Breaking Dawn part 1 premiere was Epic. Of course, what would have been even MORE Epic if Moon was not being “Rob-blocked” by a certain D-list actor when she was doing interviews, but more on that later (as in another day when we have time to edit another video)

Despite not getting to ask you if you’ve ever tried any other animal shape not-real-pieces-of-meat chicken nuggets other than Dinos, or finding out if you prefer to heat them in the conventional or toaster oven, we had a great night. Especially later in the evening when we came up with THIS list after spending 2 hours surveying the party, looking for you in every corner possible (we even looked IN the waterfall):

Top 7 reasons Rob Pattinson wasn’t at the afterparty (Cuz coming up with 10 was wayyyy too hard)

1. Kristen got really pissed off that you wore blue too & gave you a unibrow with her sharpie.
2. You heard they weren’t serving Dino-nuggets at the after-party and the spread was a more “grown-up” affair. Cocktails instead of beer? So you went home & threw something in the microwave & popped open a beer.
3. You heard you lost “best dressed” of the night to Jackson Rathbone & were ashamed to show our face. Guyliner? Why didn’t you think of that?
4. While in line to get popcorn & your Breaking Dawn souvenir cup before the movie started (you need to complete your set, of course) the ushers came out & announced the doors were being closed & no one else was allowed into the screening. Dean, your parents, your driver & everyone else you knew was inside, so you just hitchhiked home.
5. They turned you away when you attempted to bring Bear through the doors. You even explained how you had no idea who more than half of the people were who walked the red carpet & you just felt kinda lonely, but they didn’t care. You pointed out Weird Al Yankovich & how much you needed Bear’s protection & even THAT didn’t work…
6. Saddened that you didn’t get to talk to Moon on the red carpet, you went home to pen a song about your “missed connection.”
7. You were told you had to check your cell phone at will call & didn’t want to part with your Jitterbug phone. You saw Ashley Greene’s grandpa eyeing it up earlier & didn’t trust that it would be there when you returned.

After getting home with the champagne-giggles, kicking off our shoes, putting on comfy clothes (FINALLY) and covering our war wounds with Hello Kitty band-aids, it was a nice surprise to find THIS video on one of our cameras:

Until next time (oh there WILL be a next time!)

UC & Moon

We had an amazzzzzinggggg time on Monday night. Make sure to get over to LTT today for Storytime! While Rob didn’t confess his love & whisk us away to meet Bear & ask us to vacuum out his sheets before taking us to bed (yes, together), it was a successful night anyway.

We have more stories to share. So stay tuned! Thanks to everyone we met & who encouraged us and made us SO HAPPY to be there! It was amazing to see faces we recognized in the crowd! XO

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Open Weekend Post: Smart girl

Dear this girl,

I’m so sorry you were featured on Failblog. When I first saw it, I was outraged. “WHAT!? THIS IS FAILURE? No no no… this is brilliant” was my first thought. Let’s break it down piece by piece.

First of all, we have your outfit. There’s the thick-rimmed glasses with a high necked striped tshirt. We can’t see down below, but I’m going to guess you’re in a nice cargo pant or maybe a carpenter jean. Plus your hair! Nothing says “Let me go down on you now’ like a freshly slept on mousy-brown side ponytail. You’re looking HOT, hunny.

And then there’s the sign itself. You obviously put a lot of time into making sure it was spelled right, placing the dash between the “blow” and “jobs” and even using the correct form of “you’re!” This is a rare quality found in a Twilight fan with a sign! Thanks for making us Rob-fans look good!

And lastly, there’s the courage you displayed by just putting it out there. We all laugh & talk big about what we’d do to Rob behind a dumpster, but would we wear our 7th grade finest and show up on a street in LA with unwashed hair and declare it to the world on a SIGN? I don’t know if I have the balls- but you clearly did. And for that, I think you should be rewarded and not ridiculed by all the readers of the internet.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that if Rob were to pass you on the street today, he’d first notice you by your gimpy hand (those with gimpy feet tend to notice others with a similar disability). And after taking a second look, he’d consider asking you for your t-shirt. And then, his eyes would drift toward your sign- and the connection would happen. The magicness that is usually reserved for Robsten would become yours and Robs only. And despite his fear of getting blown by a girl wearing a retainer, he’d lead you to the nearest dumpster & let you show perform your first act of fellatio ever.

Wish I had thought of it first!

You have a fan in me,
UnintendedChoice

Please let this girl be kidding. Please. Please. Please. Please

Moon & I were just talking today about how we miss super hot & creative Rob vids. It seems like it’s been awhile since we saw the last one. Well, I came across this new video & while it’s not as flashy as some videos of the past, I think you’ll like what it’s offering:

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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