Adios, Sayonara, Aloha, Love, Peace Out (for now) Roberto

Dear Rob,

We saw this on Saturday –

and rethought everything.

Letters to JGL forever. And ever.

Peace out Rob.

JUST KIDDING.

Stop trying to make us sad!

I mean we could totally go for a Rob/Magic Mike/SNL moment but that’s probably not going to happen till you’ve had your Shadowboxer/Brick/500 Days of Summer/Dark Knight phase and are ready to bare all. And shower regularly. Don’t get us wrong, that’s one of the things we love about you. You simultaneously give a fuck and yet don’t give a fuck and you look much better doing it than some other people we know. You’re effortlessly cool and effortlessly interesting and effortlessly easy on the eyes and effortlessly lovely and once upon a time effortlessly easy to write about. But ya know what isn’t so effortless anymore? Writing a letter to you everyday. This isn’t an “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation cause let’s be honest, it’s kinda both of us. You’ve been kinda in hiding and we’ve been kinda busy. You’ve been kind of preoccupied and we’ve been kind of doing our own thing. It’s like that point in the relationship where the texts and dates and calls are coming fewer and farther in between because there just isn’t much to say anymore. Now, there’s definitely booty calls still involved but we’ve become different people and want different things and our old hangouts with bags of Cheetos and dates to your friends concerts and wallowing in your dirty laundry just isn’t cutting it anymore. If we took this relationship metaphor one step further we would hug and agree and probably hang out again in like 2 weeks at a gross bar but we write this to say we’re going to be focusing on LTT and our new blog That’s Normal.

We’ll always love you!

So between those, our lives and not wanting to die at work we have to bid a fond farewell to LTR for now. This doesn’t mean goodbye forever. Remember what I said about hanging out at the bar and texting. We’ll be back as necessary and we’re still pounding away at LTT and will be ramping up That’s Normal to full capacity SOON.

Rob, I think we should end this with a three way slow dance (is this possible?) to Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” and think about ALL the good times.

.

then as a thank you to our awesome audience us three will perform this:

See you soon!
Moon and UC

To our faithful, awesome, funny readers –

Seriously, it’s not the end just farewell to LTR for a bit. Go to our other sites and we’ll be there. If something happens and we feel like LTR should have a say we will definitely post. Or, if we get good letters submitted, we will post… but otherwise we’re just going to remember the good times, the really-really-really good times and hilarious letters we’ve posted here at LTR over the years and all the fun we had with Rob & with you all! You are what has made this so rewarding for us. We appreciate all of you!

Gifs via Buzzfeed

25 Commented

Where do we sign, Rob?

Been awhile? Pause the ads. They stop. PROMISE

Dear Rob,

I saw some pictures of you on a surf board accompanied by an oar. I did think it was just a little odd that there was not another single soul in sight; but hey maybe you bought an island or something. And since I’m still in utter denial over this “Robsten thing” I’ve had to resort to “back in the day” Rob stuff.

“I’m mumbling in my roommm”

My ONLY girlfriend in real life who (sort of understands my twisted obsession with you) asked me an interesting question. What music would be playing if you and I were hanging out? I figured I would answer the obvious (but did it oh so non-nonchalantly of course) “Pffft, Heavy Blues, DUH” And I looked at her all “you’re so not in my Rob Circle” way.

Then today I was listening to you on the Twilight soundtrack.. (yes it’s a daily thing don’t judge) And Rob, this is some crazy shit right here…but I recognized that I was singing along and actually saying the right words. As you well know Rob, this can only be accomplished by the truly Robsessed. Which leaves me to a bit of constructive cristsm.. I honestly can’t remember what my first reaction was when I heard you sing for the first time Rob. However the fact that I could only understand 1 out of every 5 words rings in my mind crystal clear. [UC NOTE: Yep. We call that “the Mumbles”

I WANTED to understand. So, like everyone else, I stopped and re-winded and stopped and re-winded my CD player and listened with the volume turned all the way up… then stopped and re-winded. BUT.. fast-forward to present day and I’m all kinds of pissed off when my non-twihard friends (that would be everyone except the ONE I mentioned earlier) can’t understand you singing. What can I say? I’m seasoned I guess.

Anyhoo, it took me a few months before I even knew you were the voice behind “Let Me SIgn” Now don’t get offended here Rob. That song is a monster to understand and it’s only 2 minutes long! Why is it that you mumble 5,6,10 words in a row and then sing one that is understood? My God Rob, Is it possible that there is a person in the fandom that DOESN’T KNOW??
Well never fear Rob, because I’ve come to a perfectly acceptable conclusion. I’ve decided that since you are playing whatever instrument that goes along with the song (in this case acoustic guitar) you’re so passionate that the words just flow like that. Simple isn’t it? And really who cares because you know we’re all going to listen to it until we understand every word (or at least google it and read along..And yes, we’ve ALL done that too.) Nobody has been able to catch every song with virgin ears.. NOBODY.

Is there a point? Of course.. and although it’s been overkilled by my ranting, I want to change my answer to: I would be listening to whatever your playing on the guitar and listening to your unrecognizable words. Because the truth is, I really don’t care, I like it all. awwwww… I know you’re blushing right now.

BUT…just in case you ever decide to polish up on your musical talent.

Here are the lyrics to Let Me SIgn:

She was standing there by the broken tree
Her hands were all twisted she was pointing at me
I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes
She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky
She said ‘Come on over to the bitter shade,
I will wrap you in my arms and you’ll know you’ve been saved’
Let me sign, let me sign

I found the link on you tube for a little memory refresher..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H47oQH1TW4&feature=player_embedded]

Okay and Rob, here’s what I hear:

By, Broken tree, hands are all twisted,
She’s pointin at me. I”ll stand by light comin
All I see spoken a voicen struct to the sky.
She said roll oh over yeah ta pillow shade.
I will wrap you in my on and on..
let me sign..
let me sign..

YEP!!

I bet if everyone at LTR listened to this song and read my lyrics you would all be like.. DA-FUK?? It’s spot on.

That’s all Rob… Didn’t want you to think I forgot about you over here.

Love,
Elle

After the Jumping Rob.. we have something special and NSFW

Continue…

17 Commented

Someone like Rob

Dear Rob,

Todays’ Rob Porn for women is inspired by my favorite song until it became the most overplayed song:

Happy Friday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

23 Commented

A Faux-Rob Pattinson sings on video

Today’s post has videos. So if you’re ignored our 1200 reminders previously, you can MUTE the video ads (2 in the side, 3 all the way at the bottom!) Press the volume button. They’ll stay muted!

Dear Rob,

Maybe it’s because we’re in a MAJOR Rob slump or maybe it’s because I’ve had a few glasses of wine, but I laughed WAY TOO HARD at these two videos of a guy (pretty cute guy, if I might add) mocking you.

#1: He sounds remarkably like you when you’re doing the “mumbles” (aka singing)

#2: I mean.. You had that haircut once

#3: He puts STARS on his face in the Meadow

#4: He’s actually a good guitar player & singer

#5: He kinda looks like a less-moley version of Sam Bradley

#6: I had a few glasses of wine (did I already mention that?)

I missed this one back in 2010

This is a new release from December & features a cameo from “Kristen Stewart”

You’re laughing, right?

Mostly these videos reminded me of how long it’s been since I’ve seen the original Twilight and/or listened to the soundtrack. So then I found this:

Real Rob singing plus hot pictures? Yes please!

Happy Friday to us all!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Big thanks to LadyN for sending the 1st two videos in to us!!! XO

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

20 Commented

A letter to Rob Pattinson: A 2 parter

Dear Rob,

Sigh… one of these days I’ll be writing you not because you did something ridiculous to your head. This is not one of those days.

What did you do to your head?

Moon & I are praying so freakin’ unbelievably hard convinced that this has something to do with a role, right?

Moon thought maybe your next role is as a super villain in avengers. I thought maybe there was gonna be a sequel to 50/50. Or maybe you are the voice of “Mr. Potato Head” in a new animated movie and you misunderstood the note you read where the animators would take YOUR looks and adopt them to Mr. Potato Head’s animated face & thought you had to arrive to read your lines looking like Mr. Potato Head himself (good job.)

Then we thought outside of the new role idea since we haven’t heard any gossip around town (that would be Moon, in LA. No one is gossiping about movies in Philly unless you’re thinking about that one time last week when I complained that I didn’t see “Young Adult” before it left the theaters)

We thought maybe your hats were starting to smell, and instead of washing your hair or getting new hats, you shaved his head. Or maybe you caught lice from Kristen. Or TomStu. Or both. Maybe to celebrate TomStu becoming a dad, and possibly to subconsciously share your worries the the baby will take your place, you shaved your head as “soft as a babies bum” so that Tom won’t forget you.

Or maybe you lost a bet. You & Kristen bet on who would knock up a girl first- Kellan or Jackson. (Read LTT today, ps) and you lost. Don’t worry- that was a toughie. Although my money would have been on Jackson since we’re still not convinced Kellan is straight.

Or have you become a Yogi? You’re on the path to enlightenment and your hair was weighting you down?

Whatever the reason…. I’m sure it was a good one. Wait. No I don’t. I’m actually completely POSITIVE it was a horrible reason. And it probably had something to do with you wanting to not be recognized.

How’d that work out? Pretty well, right?

Part 2:

Oh yessss there’s a part 2 in my thoughts to you today, Rob! Mostly because today I saw this headline and immediately thought of you:

Daniel Radcliffe Reveals He’s Had One-Night Stands with ‘Harry Potter’ Groupies!

Will this ever be you, Rob? When Twilight is over & you’re no longer under contract with Summit, will you come out & admit you got a handy in a closet at a Twicon in 2008? Will you admit, as Harry Potter himself does, that after a drunken evening or two, maybe after you devoured an IN-N-Out burger, you got freaky with a fan in a “I drive like Edward Cullen” Volvo?

I have to confess when I first read this headline about poor little innocent Daniel Radcliff, attacked by tons of girls called Mrtyle asking him to make them “moan,” I read that Daniel was getting it on with GROUPS of Harry Potter fans. Which gave me so much joy- did each member of the group have a wand (a literal wand.. not the manly kind)? Did they wear hats? Did anyone bring a broom? Did Ron ever join them? How about Neville? The hot version of Neville, not the odd-looking version?

But sadly, I realized I read the headline wrong. But not before I imagined what YOU getting it on with a GROUP of Twilight fans would look like:

There’d be plastic fangs, of course- the girls would think it’s funny- Heineken to loosen everyone up, Muse would be the soundtrack, everyone would be in “Team Taylor” underwear (another thing they’d think is funny (it is)) and of course all Biel’s You Tube videos would be playing on the TV In the background. Then of course afterwards everyone would snack on hot pockets & dino-shaped chicken nuggets.

Sounds good to me, how about you? Moon & I are available the following weekends, and we’ll round up a few other girls once we nail down a date:

Weekends we’re available: all of them

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What do you think of Rob’s head? Why did he do it? Would you join an orgy with Rob? Dumb question: Do you think Rob has ever had a one-night stand with a fan?

You can still help my sister!

My sister is currently in Costa Rica working for a non profit called Abriendo Mentes. And for another week or so there is a GREAT online store called Fresh Words Market with really cool products & prints giving 50% of each sale directly to Abriendo Mentes. Need a Valentine’s Day gift? Get one here! Seriously. Their stuff is great!

Shop Fresh Words Market for a Great Cause!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

47 Commented