A letter to Rob Pattinson: A 2 parter

Dear Rob,

Sigh… one of these days I’ll be writing you not because you did something ridiculous to your head. This is not one of those days.

What did you do to your head?

Moon & I are praying so freakin’ unbelievably hard convinced that this has something to do with a role, right?

Moon thought maybe your next role is as a super villain in avengers. I thought maybe there was gonna be a sequel to 50/50. Or maybe you are the voice of “Mr. Potato Head” in a new animated movie and you misunderstood the note you read where the animators would take YOUR looks and adopt them to Mr. Potato Head’s animated face & thought you had to arrive to read your lines looking like Mr. Potato Head himself (good job.)

Then we thought outside of the new role idea since we haven’t heard any gossip around town (that would be Moon, in LA. No one is gossiping about movies in Philly unless you’re thinking about that one time last week when I complained that I didn’t see “Young Adult” before it left the theaters)

We thought maybe your hats were starting to smell, and instead of washing your hair or getting new hats, you shaved his head. Or maybe you caught lice from Kristen. Or TomStu. Or both. Maybe to celebrate TomStu becoming a dad, and possibly to subconsciously share your worries the the baby will take your place, you shaved your head as “soft as a babies bum” so that Tom won’t forget you.

Or maybe you lost a bet. You & Kristen bet on who would knock up a girl first- Kellan or Jackson. (Read LTT today, ps) and you lost. Don’t worry- that was a toughie. Although my money would have been on Jackson since we’re still not convinced Kellan is straight.

Or have you become a Yogi? You’re on the path to enlightenment and your hair was weighting you down?

Whatever the reason…. I’m sure it was a good one. Wait. No I don’t. I’m actually completely POSITIVE it was a horrible reason. And it probably had something to do with you wanting to not be recognized.

How’d that work out? Pretty well, right?

Part 2:

Oh yessss there’s a part 2 in my thoughts to you today, Rob! Mostly because today I saw this headline and immediately thought of you:

Daniel Radcliffe Reveals He’s Had One-Night Stands with ‘Harry Potter’ Groupies!

Will this ever be you, Rob? When Twilight is over & you’re no longer under contract with Summit, will you come out & admit you got a handy in a closet at a Twicon in 2008? Will you admit, as Harry Potter himself does, that after a drunken evening or two, maybe after you devoured an IN-N-Out burger, you got freaky with a fan in a “I drive like Edward Cullen” Volvo?

I have to confess when I first read this headline about poor little innocent Daniel Radcliff, attacked by tons of girls called Mrtyle asking him to make them “moan,” I read that Daniel was getting it on with GROUPS of Harry Potter fans. Which gave me so much joy- did each member of the group have a wand (a literal wand.. not the manly kind)? Did they wear hats? Did anyone bring a broom? Did Ron ever join them? How about Neville? The hot version of Neville, not the odd-looking version?

But sadly, I realized I read the headline wrong. But not before I imagined what YOU getting it on with a GROUP of Twilight fans would look like:

There’d be plastic fangs, of course- the girls would think it’s funny- Heineken to loosen everyone up, Muse would be the soundtrack, everyone would be in “Team Taylor” underwear (another thing they’d think is funny (it is)) and of course all Biel’s You Tube videos would be playing on the TV In the background. Then of course afterwards everyone would snack on hot pockets & dino-shaped chicken nuggets.

Sounds good to me, how about you? Moon & I are available the following weekends, and we’ll round up a few other girls once we nail down a date:

Weekends we’re available: all of them

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What do you think of Rob’s head? Why did he do it? Would you join an orgy with Rob? Dumb question: Do you think Rob has ever had a one-night stand with a fan?

You can still help my sister!

My sister is currently in Costa Rica working for a non profit called Abriendo Mentes. And for another week or so there is a GREAT online store called Fresh Words Market with really cool products & prints giving 50% of each sale directly to Abriendo Mentes. Need a Valentine’s Day gift? Get one here! Seriously. Their stuff is great!

Shop Fresh Words Market for a Great Cause!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

47 Commented

Your best hair day is not right now..

Dear MIA Rob,

O.K., so I’m hoping that right now, you are doing what you want to do, which is probably nothing. If anybody deserves to be doing nothing, it would be you. But if I could suggest something, it would be get a buzz cut. Seriously babe, I can call you that right? No one really is digging it right now. Don’t believe a word She is saying about it not mattering either. KStew was sporting a horrendous mullet hair cut for awhile, so what the hell does she know anyway. Tom’s recent beard speaks for itself, so don’t ask him either. By the way, I am fans of both of them, and they are fairly attractive people, all on their own, but sometimes anyone can make bad hair choices. Even if it is for a role.

I get it you know, it was for Cosmopolis. Even though I’ve not finished the book, I’m guessing that Eric, finally does make it to his hair appt., and somehow it goes a rye. But the movie is wrapped, is it not? Are you holding out for reshoots, in the near future? Please sweetie, your hair is just so apart of your image, and I know that you may not appreciate that most of the time. I am here to let you know, that it doesn’t change the way I feel about you, because I have many pictures of you and your amazingly, sexy, perfectly tousled, drool-worthy hair, that I can just go back to, while we wait for you to resurface sometime soon I hope. For the love of God, please FIND the Stoli t-shirt and wear it again, for me, please?!?!

Let’s peruse, shall we??

This is when I first knew that you were going to be a "problem" for me. *happy sigh*

God, I loved this suit... Your hair was "perfection". Just, mind-numbingly sexy.

The length and color here. Swoon-worthy. *moaning*

My favorite Edward hair so far. You really were pretty close to "perfect" in Eclipse, nearly flawless actually.

My favorite photo EVER. Why? I took it myself at the WFE premiere in NYC. You really are AMAZING in person.

So even if you decide again, to NOT wear a hat, when you probably should have. (ComicCon 2011) No worries, I can make due with these pics. Please be going home to London. Your family misses you I’m sure.

Love “the girl who didn’t know how to use her friend’s camera, until you explained which button does what”. You remember me, right?,

katiebird

Thanks, katiebird! I love days when we forget that Rob’s hair looks like Kristen took a machete to it while he slept.

I’m going on vaca Saturday. FINALLY! I think I have enough letters to keep LTR running while I’m gone, but I’ll be forgetting about the world wide web & unplugging for a few days…. so read & comment when you can & hope that Rob doesn’t do something major that will just make me miss my blogging partner, Moon, even more. (I had to remind you of her name. As it’s been so long (a week) you’ve probably forgotten) xoxo

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

30 Commented

Breaking the Rules…

Dear Rob,

I’m breaking the rules & writing to you today, on the 5th anniversary of my marriage to Mr. Choice. He ran out to buy the 7th Harry Potter for our romantic evening in (don’t laugh) and first stopped to get a haircut. What he told me afterwards just HAS to be shared.

I asked how his hair looks as he tried a new salon. He said he loves it. The place was great. “Rick” (who is not gay) was really cool & offered him a beer when he walked in. He asked what he was looking for & Mr. Choice, who is unlike most men over 30 & has a FULL head of hair, asked what Rick thought. Rick said “World War II.” And that’s what he did. I asked Mr. Choice what in the world that meant- and he said,

I think my hair looks a lot like Paddleston’s hair in Water for Elephants

!!!!!! Oh REALLY??? He hasn’t come home yet, but I’m telling you Rob, Mr. Choice looking like you walking through the door would be the best anniversary surprise:

That’s all I got!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

I’m off to NYC for my anniversary/birthday/wedding of roommate from college weekend! I’ll wave to you if you live close. MOON RETURNS THIS WEEKEND so we’ll be back to our regular ol’ blogging schedule soon! We have MUCH to break down!

In the meantime, have your guys said anything interesting about Rob lately?

I’ll let you know if Mr. Choice’s hair is really channeling Rob’s! XO

Update: IT WAS!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

44 Commented

Cassie loves your hair too!

Dear Rob ,

I feel bad for you because of all the comments made about your new ‘do’, and having polls and stuff about your hair.

Quote: ‘Robs new hair, love it or hate it?’

I would just like to say that your hair before it got cut was absolutely gorgeous but that goes for your new hair as well. Either way you have your hair, it will always be stunning, and dont listen to all the bad and good comments and all the polls about everyone loving or hating it. Its your hair you can do what you want with it!

Any ways, id also love to say how talented you are, playing the piano, guitar, singing, acting! Its amazing!

You make a great Edward in the film Twilight, you played the part really well and you and Kristen work so well together!

All the best and luck for the future and up coming films,
Cassie   🙂
I love you!

Thanks Cassie! Rob loves you back (we think). Would YOU like to tell Rob how you feel? Send us a letter to letterstotwilight@gmail.com

2 Commented