Ideas for an interesting Rob-weekend (for once…)

Dear Rob,

Every Sunday when I sit down at my desk to pen you a letter, I generally do a little research before-hand. Unless I was texted/called/tweeted about some MAJOR Rob-event that happened during the weekend (which, let’s be honest, hasn’t happened in at least a year- probably more) I generally have nothing to say to you going into Sunday night. So I trust our friends at places like Robsessed to fill me in on what you’ve been up to in the past few days since I logged on to my computer.

But 9 times out of 10, you’ve been up to nothing

Sure you probably were voted the “World’s Sexiest Man” by some magazine (or you came in 2nd place as it seems to be the norm these days- what’s up with that?), and some lucky fan probably ran into you at some bar in Toronto, but that’s not an exciting Rob-weekend to me. I’m ready for something to knock my socks off when I log on to my favorite Rob blogs! I’m tired of your boring weekends- let’s step it up a bit, Rob!

So to be helpful, I’ve compiled a list of a few things you could do that would be much more interesting for me to write to you about rather than you coming in second place in some “sexiest man alive” poll. You could:

• Get caught coming out of Toronto Baptist church on Sunday morning, confessing you know all the hand-motions to “Lord I lift your name on High”

• Join a Toronto-based Harry Potter fan group & spend the weekend at a Harry Potter movie marathon with your new friends.

• Get photographed at a spinning class on Saturday morning & when asked what inspires you to keep going, say The Biggest Loser Winner Olivia (Who you remember meeting in NYC that one time )

• Start World War III and “Go on a break” with you-know-who (but read this post from Moon first)

• 

  Do this. But Hug. And maybe hold up an “I LOVE UC” sign. And ditch the maroon Suits. Or just the suits altogether…

  Kill us all & track down Ryan Gosling (He’s from Canada & Canada isn’t that big….) and pose for a picture together. And maybe hang out for a night. And write some songs. Then record them. And sing them with children. I’ll die. Seriously.

• Buy a Louis Vuitton dog-carrier for Bear and go “brunching” with Tom Stu

• Speaking of Tom Stu- why not mix it up & have a bro-fight with him at a bar. Throw a Miller Lite bottle at him.

• Mr. Choice would like you to be a celebrity guest during shark week. Matthew McConaughey is going to be one this year. And Paul Walker from Fast & Furious did it last year- you have tons in common with those dudes (or you will after you get in a bro-fight with Tom Stu)

• Shave your head. Say it’s for cancer (But really mean you were too damn hot for all that hair in the summer).

• Sex tape (no more details necessary)

That should get you started. Doing any of the above next weekend guarantees Moon & I have to write you a successful letter for Monday morning! Looking forward to seeing what you choose!!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Do you feel like Rob has been really boring as of late? Or do you like boring, same-as-always Rob? What ideas do you have for him to “spice up” his life?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Are you any different than the others, Rob?

Dear Rob,

Recently I was reminded that there were others before you. Yes, I’m sorry to admit it, but you weren’t my first.

There was Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Ah JTT: The Days I spent thinking of you as an awkward, homeschooled, four-eyed, crooked teeth, permed hair tween. I would have spent all my allowance (and since I created the family “chore chart” and gave myself the most chores so that I could get the most allowance, I was pretty rich. Also I ruled) on Tiger Beats bearing your face, but my mom wouldn’t let me. If only you had starred on the front of my “Brio” magazine. Then I would have hung more posters on my bedroom walls. (FYI: I could have TAKEN this girl)

Oh be still my 11 year old heart

Yes this is me. Yes I’m proof that awkwardness eventually ceases.  Yes I feel like a pedophile looking at JTT’s picture

And soon thereafter Devon Sawa came into my life. Remember when he almost kissed that butch-looking girl on Little Giants? Her nickname was “Ice Box!” I can’t remember if kissed her or not & I just spent approximately 17 minutes wasting time watching You Tube clips of “Little Giants” trying to find out for sure. In other news, I just realized the “Butch-looking” co-star was much cuter than my rough 12-13 year old years:

THIS exact picture was on my wall. Actually I think I painted over it when I was 14 because it was stuck there so badly, so it’s probably still in my bedroom. Shhh don’t tell my dad.

Then I got braces. And contacts. And learned about American Eagle & Aeropostle. And I cannot remember what boys I fell for from age 14-18. I wasn’t into N’SYNC like Moon. I think I swooned over Andrew Keegan with the rest of the late 90s teenage population, but no one really sticks out. I did eventually have my very own first kiss (aka boy jammed tongue down my throat in front of jr. high school) so I probably didn’t need any celeb crushes. I had “true romance.”

And then Shane West entered my life my freshman year of college starring as the male lead in the Nicolas Sparks movie “A Walk to Remember.” I Still consider that one of the best movies of all time. Okay, I only actually say that after a couple glasses of wine which is the condition in which this letter is being written, but still. Shane West was hot. My freshman roommate & I even talked about him on our dorm room voicemail. We were awesome.

Go away Mandy Moore. Marry my favorite musician and make him sober up then make a bad direct-to-DVD movie with Kellan Lutz. I dare you

Fun Fact: Devon Sawa & Shane West are both on The CW show, Nikiti, which I love because not only does it take me back to my teen years, but it’s actually kinda good.

And we can’t mention the genius of Nicolas Sparks without of course talking about crowd favorite and desire of my heart for many years now: Ryan Gosling. Just spend 5 minutes perusing Fuck Yeah Ryan Gosling and you’ll understand completely:

About midway through college Adam Brody skateboarded his way through the OC and into my heart. I never knew I was into dorks until that moment. This dork had good music taste, he was quirky with a sarcastic humor & a Jew fro that would ensure our babies would have the cutest little curls of all time. I’m still not really sure if I fell in love with Adam Brody or Seth Cohen, but I think they were the same person:

Dear Josh Schwartz, please bring him back

And a few years later, I feel HARD- and I mean I have magnets and pencils & post-it note paper in my office STILL of this guy- for John Krasinski. Dang. The dorky good-guy does it again. This one was for real, though. I hadn’t day-dreamed about a celeb that much until John. I was reminded of the power of this man while watching Something Borrowed this past weekend!

But before you go crying in that hoodie you pulled from a dumpster a few days ago, let me just point out that this isn’t LetterstoShaneWest.com. I don’t have magazines with John Krasinski’s face all over them hidden in the very back of a desk drawer (just printer paper). I don’t own any figurines of Jonathan Taylor Thomas. And besides “The Notebook” it would take me a few minutes to come up with a list of 5 movies Ryan Gosling has done. But I DO do all of those things with regards to you. Or know them. What makes you different? Why didn’t I start a blog about Shane West (Pretty sure Blogger didn’t exist when I was in college) How come Devon Sawa is no longer on “The list” after all these years?

Are you different? Will someday years 25-28 of my life be a distant memory? “That time when I liked that Rob guy?” Or will I be holding on to my fan card, 10 years down the road? Are you just another JTT, Shane West or John Krasinski? Are you really that different at all?

Seriously, UC?

Only time with tell,
UnintendedChoice

I created a chart ranking my love for celebrity boys:
This is completely arbitrary & absolutely no thought at all was put into it while I created it. But I was on my 3rd glass of wine, if that helps you:

What other men had your attention before Rob? How does Rob rank compared to other celeb crushes!?

Rob collage source

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

91 Commented

The year in Rob 2010 – top moments (that should have been)

2010 was goo!

Dear Rob,

It’s the end of the year and everyone is doing those count down of their favorite movies/music/current events, what have you and who would we be to not join in the fun with some of yours. But rather than count down our fave moments cause well, we talk about them a lot, I think I’m going to count down our favorite moments of yours the way I saw them…

1. Shopping with Tom Sturridge for underpants and whatnot – This was definitely one of our favorite moments of the year we’ve talked about it non stop and who wouldn’t? You were seen buying your drawers with your BFF?

How I saw it... After clearing out the contents of John Varvatos, Paul Smith and Penguin stores, Robert Pattinson and pal Tom Sturridge were seen out for months to follow at bars, shows, and friends places wearing the latest in men’s fashions. No word yet on the origins of the mysterious dumpster fire involving a lot of used men’s clothing (beanies, old leather briefcases, holey shirts and pants, etc) that was set ablaze in the lovely neighborhood of Barnes, London. Officials say they were glad the used clothing was not donated to charity shops because the levels of toxins found at the blaze were extraordinary and estimate that the clothing had not been washed in several years leading to complete annihilation of the rancid clothing and the dumpster.

Coming fall 2011 to Oprah’s new network! It’s the Rob Show!

2. Robert Pattinson on the Jay Leno Show – HOT HOT HOT, there’s really no other words for this suit and the resulting stories about his dad and the amazing emails he receives from Dick Pattinson.

How I saw it… Sensing the huge success of any television appearances he makes and the resulting high levels of estrogen in the studio, Robert Pattinson signs a deal with OWN media and starts his own chat show focused on women ages 18 – to old to remember. Topics will include: how to snag the (younger) man of your dreams, cougars vs sabers who would win his heart and guests Alex Sarsgaard, Iam Somerhalder, Chuck Bass (his real name),  and himself, Robert Pattinson.

I’ve gotta get to those fans!! Outta my way!

3. Rob films Water for Elephants in California and draws legions of fans to set locations every day – Who didn’t love seeing Rob in those period clothes, taming wild beasts and making out with Reese Witherspoon? We sure did. But some folks loved it aaaaaallllooottt and committed part of their summer to being a regular on set… or off set as it were.

How I saw it… Touched by the devotion of his fans Rob stoped his chauffeured car as he left the set of Water for Elephants today to tell them how much he appreciated them. But overcome with emotion, Rob actually proposes to every single fan gathered (5ish people) and suggests they all live on a compound in glorious Big Love-esque harmony. Every day is spent beginning with an hour long session of Rob flexes his hands and fingers for all to watch and drool. Then he picks up a guitar and puts it down, never playing, only teasing. They then all wake up from this glorious dream and seek psychological therapy.

CANNONBALL INTERNETS!!!!

4. Ready to cool off in the Atlantic Ocean while filming Breaking Dawn, Rob takes an awkward jump that will go down in history. – What else is there to say about Jumping Rob besides it’s pure, unintended choice GENIUS!

How I saw it… jealous of the popularity of Prancing Cera, Leo Struts, Sad Don Draper and Ryan Gosling’s “Hey Girl,”  among others, Robert Pattinson had been brainstorming a way to catch the hearts of the interwebs to make him even more famous for awkwardly jumping into the ocean than for being a sparkly vampire. After attempts such as “Air Guitar Rob” in Vancouver, “Underwear Rob” in London and  “Homie Rob” in LA all failed he saw his chance in Brazil. All it took was a hop skip and awkward jump into the ocean and into the interwebs hearts forever.

BOTHERED!!

5. Robert is Bothered… Knowing that ladies love cool Rob and will watch anything with Robert Pattinson in it, Jimmy Fallon launches the hilarious reoccuring bit called “Robert is Bothered” on his late night chat show. Rob eventually joins him for an episode in April of 2010 to let Jimmy know he really isn’t bothered, maybe a bit broken

How I saw it… Clearly, the BIGGEST male fan of Rob (and Twilight) to ever have his own late night chat show and power to make and air hilarious sketches, Jimmy Fallon created Robert is Bothered in an elaborate plot to lure the actor on his show and steal an autograph/hug/lock of hair. After having other cast members on to throw footballs and ride mini crotch rocket motorcycles, Jimmy knew he had to step up his game to lure in the big dog, Robert Pattinson and thus Robert is Bothered was created!

As you can see, how I saw your top moments of 2010 was waaaaayyy more exciting than how they actually played out. We will, however, be eternally grateful to you for bringing us such amazingness like Jumping Rob and Bothered that will last us through 2011. How can you top it this time??

2011 Here We Come!
Themoonisdown

Was this how you saw Rob’s top moments of 2010? What did I miss or did they go down differently to you? Share!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

52 Commented

Ef yea Rob porn for women!

Dear LTR Readers-

Everytime we post just Rob pictures you girls go nuts (100 comments from yesterdays pic post!), anytime my sister-in-law pulls out the book “Porn for Women” ladies go WILD hooting with laughter and anytime I visit “Fuck Yea Ryan Gosling” I almost pee my pants from laughing so hard. This synthesis led UC and I to create Ef Yea Rob Porn for Women! And in honor of our little “Letters” theme we like to use around here I’ve created our very first edition…

(check out those links first, if you have NO idea what I’m talking about)

Aw Robbie, always so helpful!
Themoonisdown

Specials thanks to our inspirations-
Porn for Women
My sister in law
Fuck Yea Ryan Gosling
Sass for some great pictures and link inspiration
*Insert from UnintendedChoice: This site because when Moon and I see that pic of Jake Gyllenhaal on the horse we pee ourselves laughing.

74 Commented