A Faux-Rob Pattinson sings on video

Today’s post has videos. So if you’re ignored our 1200 reminders previously, you can MUTE the video ads (2 in the side, 3 all the way at the bottom!) Press the volume button. They’ll stay muted!

Dear Rob,

Maybe it’s because we’re in a MAJOR Rob slump or maybe it’s because I’ve had a few glasses of wine, but I laughed WAY TOO HARD at these two videos of a guy (pretty cute guy, if I might add) mocking you.

#1: He sounds remarkably like you when you’re doing the “mumbles” (aka singing)

#2: I mean.. You had that haircut once

#3: He puts STARS on his face in the Meadow

#4: He’s actually a good guitar player & singer

#5: He kinda looks like a less-moley version of Sam Bradley

#6: I had a few glasses of wine (did I already mention that?)

I missed this one back in 2010

This is a new release from December & features a cameo from “Kristen Stewart”

You’re laughing, right?

Mostly these videos reminded me of how long it’s been since I’ve seen the original Twilight and/or listened to the soundtrack. So then I found this:

Real Rob singing plus hot pictures? Yes please!

Happy Friday to us all!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Big thanks to LadyN for sending the 1st two videos in to us!!! XO

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

20 Commented

Dreams about Rob Pattinson

It’s been awhile since I’ve had one (but The Gos was in my dream the other night- hellooooo!) but I know you guys are still dreaming about Rob evidenced in this letter by tupelohoney!

Dear Rob,

UC told us a while ago that dreaming about you was totally normal [<—- UC NOTE: a long while ago! Read that for good times!)  so I thought I’d tell you about a few of mine. Since my obsession with you, um, I mean since my acute fondness for you began you’ve visited me in my dreams several times. This may be in part because I set the stage for it, so to speak, practically every night before going to bed. After everyone here is asleep and the house is quiet, I spend a few minutes (or an hour) checking out the latest on Robsessed and watching a few (or 20) of my favorite Robporn videos on youtube. And the last thing I do before shutting my computer down for the night is listen to you sing “I’ll be your lover too”. It’s become my own personal lullaby:

Some of the dreams are so vague that I barely remember them. I just wake up happy knowing that you were there somehow during the night. In one of these all I remember about it is you saying “I’ve got to go see SouthernBelle, I’ll be riiiight back…” (yeah SB, I’ll share with you girl!). And some are quite vivid. Especially the ones about you/Tyler wearing a blue t-shirt in a jail cell….but I think those are probably too naughty to mention. All beat up and bloody? You’ve never looked hotter, trust me.

I remember my first dream about you very well. In it, I woke up alone in my bed wearing my University of Tennesse Vols jersey (must have been football season). Don’t know why that part is so clear. Anyway, I could hear Bob Seger singing, which was probably what woke me. I sat up in bed wondering where the music was coming from. Suddenly the music got louder and the song changed. The new song was “Old Time Rock & Roll”. My bedroom door opened and there you were wearing a white button-down shirt, black boxer briefs and white socks. You slid into the room, grabbed my hairbrush off the nightstand to use as a microphone and started dancing like Tom Cruise in Risky Business! Except that you were better and and 10 times hotter. I sat there with my mouth open in awe, unable to move a muscle while you danced and sang your way to the end of the song. When it ended you came over to stand in front of me. Before I could utter a single word, you gave me a light kiss on my nose and disappeared. Just like that! I finally managed to whisper “Come back” but you were gone. Then I woke up. Don’t know where that dream came from because I haven’t seen Risky Business in years!

Come here baby….

In another one, a few of my friends and I were sitting at a table having drinks in a loud, smoky pub. Bob Seger was singing on the jukebox. Don’t know what it is about you and Bob Seger in my dreams but anyway, I excused myself to go to the restroom, um, I mean the loo (love that word, for some reason). There was a line so I stood there waiting. Someone touched my shoulder and I turned and saw that it was you. Somehow I wasn’t surprised by this. You said “Ooh, there’s my little tiger lily..” (What? No spider monkey?… Okay.) You pulled me over to a dark corner and pinned me against the wall with your body (the dream was so real I could feel every inch of you…). We shared a kiss. You tasted like cigarette smoke and cinnamon gum. When it ended I was dizzy. Then you said “Wanna go for a swim?” ( What? WTF? Where?). I said “Sure” (anything you say baby). You started kissing me again. And then I woke up! Damn it! Why do I always have to wake up just when it’s starting to get good?

Well actually…. I don’t always. One day I was home alone and decided to spend that time perusing my Robporn stash. I then decided to take a little nap. Let’s just say I didn’t wake up when it got good. Not for a while anyway. But something did eventually wake me. I think it was probably the sound of my husband’s truck turning into the driveway. I got up and came into the kitchen just as he walked through the door. I guess you could say I attacked him…. we never made it any further than the rug in front of the door. He was shocked, to say the least but he wasn’t complainin’… He just looked at me and said “Whoa there Sugar, what got into you?” I just smiled sweetly and did not say a word… I think I would have probably felt more guilty about what got into me if he didn’t have this “thing” for Queen Latifah (don’t ask… I’m not sure I understand that one myself).

So Rob, what got into me? Well, it was you baby. Just you. Just you in all of your adorkably f*ckhawt gorgeous glory! You got into me. Wish I could say that lit’rally. But since I’m fairly sure that ain’t never gonna happen… please feel free to visit me again in my dreams anytime. I like waking up with a smile on my face. All hot and bothered too but definitely smiling……

tupelohoney

So let’s hear it! What have YOUR dreams about Rob been lately? And if you haven’t had one then you must not be a Rob Fan!!***

After the Jump(ing Rob) some sort-of- Rob funnies: Continue…

43 Commented

Rob’s making a list and checking it twice!

Heeeeeeyyy Guys, it's Santa Rob!! Who's been naughty and who's been nice?

Dear Rob,

Since I’ve been in a tizzy trying to buy the rest of the Christmas prezzies on my list I got to wondering about what’s on yours list to get your family and friends. So we know you don’t go to any shops besides Norman’s Rare Guitars and unless his mom wants a vintage Fender you might want to expand your shopping horizons especially since Christmas (and Boxing Day) is right around the corner! So what IS on your list?

Dick – Regift him a brand spanking new pullover from a SWAG bag you received last year. “Borrow” (for forever) the same pullover from him in 5 years.

Clare – Advanced copy of Country Strong since she has a thing for Garrett Hedlund after seeing Tron.

The sisters – Advanced copy of Country Strong. See above

Your Grandparents – matching Jitterbug cell phones since you’re their official spokesperson and all.

Tom Sturridge – Tshirt with “Bros before hoes” on the front and “no really, I mean it!” on the back

Sam Bradley – copy of “Robert Pattinson’s guide to not creeping girls out when I sing by eye f*cking them till it’s awkward” and a new blazer from Dick’s closet and ONE hoop earring from Clare’s jewelry box.

Bobby Long – a bedazzeled bangs comb and a promise of never to mention his name ever ever again.

Perfect for framing and fireplace hanging

Taylor Lautner – Framed 16×20 of this picture –>

Kristen Stewart – new bearskin rug.

Looks like you’ll be busy this next week Rob, trying to locate rugs and blowing up pictures and writing a book about non-creepy looks. So you better get started I guess and we’ll sit here and watch these 4 seconds of awesome from a Water for Elephants teaser…

I won’t share how many times I’ve watched it.

Happy last minute Xmas shopping!
Themoonisdown

Who did Rob leave off his list? What should he get for Stephanie Ritz? What about Stephenie Meyer? Lots of Stephe/anie’s!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

96 Commented

Rob goes to Texas, watches “the game,” meets some Tech girls and Lubbock fails to get it on video

Dear Rob,

Now that you’re not filming anything, I guess you decided to hit the road and see this country we call home. It’s definitely the best way to see it. Just last night you turned up in Texas and there was photographic evidence

so of course what else did we do? We broke that ish down…

I expect one of these Rob!

Moon: sooo rob is on some sort of roadtrip he’s now been seen in two places
UC: a joke roadtrip? did I read he went to LUBBOCK? as in TEXAS?
Moon: 1st he was seen in Santa Fe, New Mexico eating dinner and then LUBBOCK! Yes, lubbock as in home to the red raiders out in BFE west texas
UC: you know what I think? I think the paparazzi in these cities PAID him big money to show up- they want to start a little “scene” and who better to kick it off!? he was paid in belt buckles and BBQ. Jordan the unicorn is from Lubbock. Dang…. we should get him on Rob Stalking patrol also this east coast girl has no idea who the red raiders are
Moon: i did!  i tweeted him last night. I told Jordan (our very first male commenter from WAY back in the day) the LTR Bat Signal was shining in the sky over his city and he needed to get to work!  And he got out of bed! What a trooper and a unicorn for us!
UC: hahahaha YES! amazing! can you imagine? I mean… imagine for a second you don’t live in LA…. imagine you’re me just minding your own business going out on a Monday night to grab a drink with some pals  and in walks Rob pattinson. In your neighborhood bar of COURSE

What I imagine Jordan driving around Lubbock in

Moon: Jordan the Unicorn tells us that the place was on lockdown and that there was even a group of girls waiting outside a hotel that Jordan supposed would be where they’d stay.
UC: wow…… word spreads fast in Lubbocks the town crier got paid last night
Moon: jordan said the bar is pretty much across the street from campus!
UC: college girlls!! holllaa!
Moon: no one ever said the britpack were geniuses

Follow the cut for karaoke, smoking, Tech girls and more
Continue…

108 Commented

This is how you found us!?

Dear LTR fanatics & the occasional passer-byers via Google,

It’s been awhile since we’ve dove into the deep end of the blog statistics- in fact, we haven’t done it once since we moved to the new blog. (And may have never done it at LTR- we used to do it all the time over at LTT!) Are you still googling creepy shit to end up at LTR? Are you still misspelling words just as badly as you were a year ago? Let us find out. Here is what you’ve been googling lately to find us at Letters to Rob:

what white actor is dating someone white- I’ll take Angelia Jolie & Brad Pit for $200. Wait no… I know this one…Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens? No? How about Taylor Swift & Taylor Swift? Ooh Oohh- Nikki Reed  Paris Lastis? Damn- WHO is it!?

robert fans mad at paps- Yeah we are! Mad that we don’t get to be up in Rob’s face experiencing for ourselves what a “nice guy” he is. If we were to throw a camera in Rob’s face & use a fast shutter 100 times over, we’d be considered stalkers. And how is it stalking if I’m just using those pictures for my OWN personal collection? To add to my 2010 “Rob Pattinson Sex on Legs” 5″ 3 ring binder? Explain THAT.

rob’s crotch- Sigh… my grandmother would be so proud

sad faces with letters First there was Sad GQ Rob then there was Sad Panda Rob- we don’t discriminate. We write letters to all forms of sad faces:

robert pattinson croatia- Sorry- probably never gonna happen but I hear Beirut has a chance this year.

pattinson muscle car- HA! Little did you know that your man, after he caught you up late Robsessing &  LTRing one too many nights, would believe you when you told him you were actually doing “research” for his birthday present by looking at pictures of an old “muscle car” Rob Pattinson was seen driving around. Better hope you’re not recognizable in your gravatar because 4 of your men found LTR by searching for more info on their “birthday presents.” You don’t want them finding out “birthday present” really means “Horny talk about sparklepeen with women I met online”

interpretation of too far gone by sam badley- Good try Sam. We know you’re still Googling stuff about yourself- hoping to find legit sites interpreting your songs. Sorry- it’s just us. Just us here STILL after all these months interpreting “Too Far Gone” as a completely different song from “Never think”

what is robert pattinson’s cell phone number- Well, Jitterbugs don’t have numbers- you just dial 0 for the operator and ask to speak to your grandson in Toledo. But his iPhone # is 1-800-FUC-KOFF

robsten are officially on- It’s about DAMN TIME you found out! You finally figured out all those secret messages we wrote in between paragraphs in the margins of our posts didn’t you? They were code from Kristen & Rob themselves passed thru us to you. Highlight the page- you’ll see what I mean.

Robsten are on
gold brocade bedding- Not here. Maybe try Bed Bath & Beyond.com but we’re glad you found us. Do you like all the pictures of Rob’s crotch?
Hey this is Rob- I love Kristen

michael crea bookends– I had no idea what this meant. I was so confused that I googled it myself & what do you know? LTR pops up. Apparently one time Moon wrote about a “michael Crea bookend” Of course she meant to write Michael Cera just as you meant to google, but we’re glad you found us. We’re like Michael Cera except completely different, although one time some writer called Kristen Stewart to the female Michael Cera & we haven’t stopped laughing since.
Hey this is Kristen. I love Rob. But shh sometimes I miss Oregano. He had better pot

edward cohen dance me to the end of love– Dear lord THAT is the worst mistake ever made on google. Take it back. It’s Leonard Cohen. OR Edward Cullen. Two different people. One amazing song (this is my fav version in case you’ve ignored my attempts to have you listen to it before)

do all people jizz in pants- Nope Only Edward Cullen in Biology class. And you apparently since you googled it. You might want to get that checked out….

dirty ridingboots- I have no idea how you ended up here and I hope you figured out a way to clean off those riding boots & that it has nothing to do with jizzing in your pants … or your boots..

draco malfoy porn picture- Finally- a google term that makes sense as this is something we clearly post about quite often. I mean who DOESN’T want to see Draco Malfoy completely nude?

in n out burger swim trunks- nope not here. but when you find them can you pass on the link? I know a guy who would DEF buy those…

how to get over my obsession for robert pattinson
help im a mother and obssessed with robert pattinson
help, i’m 45 and obsessed with robert pattinson– Wow.Clearly you’ve come to the right place. Also.. you need help. But Come back after you get it. That’s Kinda not really Normal

sockless zac efron– There’s nothing we like more either than a kid on the verge of gaydom without his socks on. We understand.

True love is in black AND White

show proof that rob loves kristen july 3rd 2010– You want proof? Here’s the proof: Have you found any bear skin rugs in stores lately? Nope. Me neither. That’s your proof- Rob & Kristen bought them all. They plan on being together for a long effing time.

porn+bearskin- And now even MORE proof. Even the people searching for porn know that this is the place to go to get the proof that bear skin rugs are proven magicness-match-makers for long lasting, fireplace co-star love making

rob pattinson and kristen stewart porn– You’ve definitely come to the wrong place. Unless you’re looking for Robsten Fan Fiction- We have Plenty of that. It’s a somewhat past time of ours. Side note: there were 5 searches for “Nikki Reed Porn” but this was the only search that mentioned Kristen. SAD FOR KRISTEN. Also SAD for Nikki REED! Also
SAD for us for having a site where “porn” is googled & we are found!!!!

What have YOU been googling lately!?
UnintendedChoice

NO seriously…. I love this game- It’s fun to see how other people found LTR. So whether it was FOREVER ago or just recently, how DID you find us!? Oh and after the jump, enjoy a surprise: Continue…

138 Commented