Remember Me DVD will feature a Rob commentary: There is a God!

Dear Rob,

Since Summit’s no dummy they’re releasing Remember Me on DVD this month during the big Eclipse PR bonanza. They probably realize they really only have you until Breaking Dawn is over so they’re gonna milk it for all it’s worth. Which is smart. So since we’re gonna have access to your hot sex scenes and fight scenes from the comfort of our own bedrooms on June 22nd the press is starting to roll out. I just caught this feature on the LA Times blog that drops some seriously good info on your DVD COMMENTARY!!!! Whoohooo!! If there was one thing missing from the New Moon DVD it was you on the commentary but thank you baby Jesus, Summit forced wrangled you into a sound studio to record what I’m sure to be awesomeness we will love for all time.

So of course I have a few things to say about it…

Taking the lead for our favorite factoid: Pattinson’s dirty journaling. Playing the broody Tyler, the actor spent most of the film scrawling mysteriously in a leather-bound notebook. “On set I kept on going up to Rob and saying, ‘You’ve got to write in your journal, mate,'” producer Nick Osbourne said.

Said Pattinson: “I remember writing all these kind of pornographic poems, whenever there was a close-up on it. Horrible, horrible things in bold capital letters.”

So far I've come up with Boob, moob, tube, scoob, dube...

I can only imagine this going down… you trying to figure out how to rhyme words like boobs and ass with Heineken and kick ass. It’s truly the only way you can describe your favorite stuff. This explains those pained expressions you were making in the movie. It wasn’t you emoting about losing your brother or having a strained relationship with your dad, it was you thinking REALLY hard about how many syllables are in cunnilingus.

Other amazing insights into Rob’s soul include …

His sex scene was scary: Pattinson was “terrified” during his boom-boom moment with De Ravin. More so, he was sympathetic to the director of photography, “who had to look deep into my … crack for a long time.”

Crack is whack ya’ll even if you’re filming a love scene and you have a weird bra type modesty pouch over your man bits. No one needs to see the crack of doom.

His mother was appalled at the thought of a tattoo: Pattinson’s character has his brother’s name inked on his left pec as a memorial. When his mom saw it in the “Remember Me” trailer, she called him immediately. “I was like, ‘Really, do you think I tattooed ‘Michael’ on my chest?”

Wait, Tom is spelled T-O-M?! NOOOOOO my tattoo is all wrong

No, but you would definitely get a tattoo of “Tom” on your chest… or maybe Rob + Tom = bros 4 life (In old English of course) Next to an Olin Mills style portrait tattoo of you two.

Fans take note — when in Los Angeles, he reads scripts in a fast-food restaurant parking lot: “I was in an In ‘N Out burger car park where I used to always read scripts. … I realized I liked the character Tyler in the first four pages.” Perhaps he celebrated with a Double-Double.

USED TO?!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s about exactly two In-n-Outs this could be and that kills me. I guess this saves me from looking like a creeper by hanging out in the In-n-Out parking lot for hours on end knocking on windows and looking in the back seat for you.

He’s not shy about his frustrations with the paparazzi: As the film’s New York shoot was plagued with photogs, almost every scene in the “Remember Me” commentary comes with some anecdote about the invasive shutterbugs. “They showed absolutely no respect for anything,” Pattinson remarks.

I’m not sure I would classify those crazy whacko pyscho girls who chased you down paparazzi but Harvey Levin might give them an internship at TMZ at least.

Big dramatic fight scenes (like in, um, “Eclipse”) bore him: Pattinson gets roughed up by costar Chris Cooper in the film, and loved every minute of it. “It’s probably the most fun I’ve ever had in a scene,” he says of being slammed against the hood of a car. “Normally the fights are so choreographed, it makes it boring.”

Must. resist. this. video. clip. send. help. now. can't. resist.

Oh we loved every minute of it too… maybe a little too much Rob. I seriously contemplated my sanity after I watched that video of you filming that fight scene like 50 times. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle having it in a high def version in my own house. A hit of the good stuff any time I need it.

Rob does a mean Barney Gumble: Pattinson randomly bursts out in an impression of resident derelict Barney from “The Simpsons” on the commentary track. And it’s actually pretty spot on.

I’m crossing my fingers he does his best Patty and Selma impression on the Eclipse DVD commentary. Nothing like a hot man impersonating the voices of a couple cougarish chain smoking sisters. HOT.

As you can tell I’m super excited about the possibilities of the DVD commentary only this means I may have to enter rehab to get me off the bad stuff that fight scene clip. And now that I’ve finally figured out who Aidan looks like (my old high school crush/bff/boyfriend stolen by my friend) I can finally stop staring at him wondering how I ‘know’ him and watch that fight scene. Again.

The answer’s four, in case you were wondering…
Themoonisdown

Who’s looking forward to this DVD release now that we know we’ll get a Rob commentary! Maybe he’ll eat “cheeseburgahs” and tell the guys he gets in a fight with to “be simple guys.”

Business Time:

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