Wait, Rob hasn’t read Breaking Dawn?

Dear Rob,

WAIT… esqueeze me one moment… YOU HAVEN’T READ BREAKING DAWN?! While I can understand loving Eclipse so much and just thinking it should have ended there… but you play EDWARD FREAKIN’ CULLEN! How have you not read Breaking Dawn?

You’ve read Midnight Sun for goodness sake, not even all the folks who have read the Twilight saga have read Stephenie’s alternate take on Twilight from Edward’s POV but you have! Yet you haven’t cracked Breaking Dawn.

You have LOADS of time on your hands… besides while you were actually filming the other three Twilight films what about all those 23948290347 plane flights you’ve been on or the set of Bel Ami? That looked like a real snooze fest. And what about all those free Saturday nights you told Oprah you have. Since you’re not hanging with me you have loads of time to run through all 756 pages. I got through it in a couple days WHILE on a business trip in 2008. So it’s definitely possible for you.

So I was thinking if you haven’t read Breaking Dawn and all you’ve really heard about is the Vampire C-Section than you’ve got a lot to catch up on and I’m just the person to help you out! Cause I definitely want you to go into filming prepared and knowing exactly what to expect…

• Edward and Bella have an old timey wedding in the backyard of the Cullens. Think high neck dresses. This of course means you and Kristen get to simulate having the sexy times on the big screen for all the Robsteners to salivate over and (fingers crossed) record bootleg videos to take home and turn into crazy grossgusting fan videos!

Please to be making it NOT sound like this:
[audio:http://letterstotwilight.com.s83451.gridserver.com/music/NewMoonPornKiss2.mp3]

• You know that kid BooBoo Stewart who plays a werewolf? Well Edward and Seth become like BFF’s in Breaking Dawn. So get ready for Bobo (Love ya KrazyKidd) to come knocking on your trailer at all times with his mom in tow looking for some twitter “exclusives” for @mammarazzi and Tiger Beat Magazine.

• Bella will be stronger than Edward Cullen – Yes that means you will have to act like Kristen Stewart’s skinny little chicken bone legs could crush your marble like face. Um woah, just reread that and I’m gonna let it stay. Reread that one Rob and try not to blush.

Basically this for hours on end

• Jacob and Leah will run around the Cullen house for at least half the movie – They will call this “running the perimeter” or “running patrols” it’s just an excuse for them to get away from all the lovey dovey Bella/Edward crap, the fact that Bella is having an alien demon baby and you whining about Bella having the baby.

• Edward makes Bella eggs on Isle Esme (the island designating for the deflowering) this means you need to learn more than operating a microwave or toaster and no you can’t substitute the filet o fish sandwich Big Daddy brings to set that day. No, Jacob isn’t in that scene and Taylor won’t be on set, but Big Daddy is a HUGE Robstener. He needs to see the magicness in person and not just in his head like he always imagined, so he will be lurking near the headboard with a greasy bag. Just ignore the fried fish smell. And the quiet moaning.

• Rosalie will bend metal into a dog dish – Yes, you must also pretend that Nikki Reed can bend a metal mixing bowl into a dog dish with her bare hands and those eye brows.

Yup, you guys

So do you feel like you’re prepared now? Are you ready to bring Edward to life again in Breaking Dawn? You having not read Breaking Dawn at this point seems almost unfathomable but I guess anything is possible and who really wanted the saga to end? I definitely dragged out reading Breaking Dawn as long as I could cause I didn’t want it to end but the time is now my friend, you will be playing Edward again very soon and it’s time to get prepared. I will give you my SIGNED copy of Breaking Dawn if you promise to keep the dried tear stains to a minimum or at least to the pages where Jacob and Leah are running the perimeter.

Breaking Your Dawn,
Themoonisdown

SRSLY, can you believe Rob hasn’t ready Breaking Dawn? I don’t know what I was so surprised, but really? What else can we tell Rob about BD that he doesn’t know yet?

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191 Commented

My Confession: Rob finally becomes Edward Cullen in Eclipse

*SPOILER ALERT! As if you would expect anything different after we’ve just seen Eclipse for the first time!*

Oh heeeeeey there Edward Cullen!

Dear Rob,

I have a confession to make: I’ve never truly thought of you as Edward Cullen. I know, right? A year and a half later and I’m just telling you this? Hear me out…  I’ve always thought of Edward Cullen from the books as a different person than the Edward Cullen you play in the films. Sure, they have the same name and share some of the same lines but there’s something about the book version and your portrayal that were just not the same to me. I can’t completely pinpoint why that is, it just is.

But tonight I think you got it. Or at least the beginnings of whatever IT is. While watching Eclipse for the first time there were moments when I watched you and I thought, wow he’s Edward Cullen right now, not just Rob playing Edward Cullen.

We should really protect your virtue, and this gold brocade bedding from any accidents

Like when Edward and Bella had the modernity talk on that blasted gold brocade bedspread about not wanting to have sex before marriage. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her and want to do such things it just went against his nature and how he was brought up and what time period his values and morals came from. I’m pretty sure I swooned hard with the talk about chaperoned walks and stolen kisses. Hey, I’m an Austen-Regency-era lover, I can’t help it.  And I even tried to block the image of Joshua Harris Kissing Dating Goodbye when you mentioned courting, but there was something just SO Edward Cullen about it all. A little bit old fashioned, a little bit shy, a little bit sweet and a whole lot of Edward all wrapped into one on that awful bedspread.

LET'S DO THIS!

Though there were many times your dialogue felt stilted and awkward, thought most of the time (and we’ll talk about this later) that awkwardness and stunted dialogue was between you and Kristin, you really did shine this time around. Even when your portrayal of him felt very outside of the book-Edward we know, for instance like when you got angry and shook Jacob or when you let Bella ride off with Jacob on the bike, though what was WAY outside of book-Edwards boundaries and character, it still felt like it could have been a possibility. And maybe you tapped into something that book-Edward was needing all along. A little more danger? A little more emotion? I don’t know but I was feeling it. Your whole performance and the movie as a whole was way more refined, way more drilled down than the previous films, less neon bug eyes and more soft around the edges.

Just thinking about "courting"

I’ve always wondered if Stephenie Meyer felt the same way about seeing actors portray characters she’d had in her mind long before any actor ever brought them to life on celluloid. Did you guys live up to those characters in her mind or are they two separate things. Maybe I’ll just have to call up our new BFF and pretend to be JK Rowling with a lost alternate ending to Harry Potter so she’ll take my call and see if she agrees with me.

But for tonight as we close in on 4am I’ll just say good job. Now to figure out when I can see the movie again and who I can send a letter to to ask the caterer to slip a Valium in yours and Kristen’s lunch of coffee and cigarettes before you film any scenes together in Breaking Dawn with dialogue. Help us.

Team Edward!
Themoonisdown

PS But seriously, Edward in the snowy mountain scene? You looked 3D or animated or CGI-ed into a snow globe (Snow Globeward?). We HAVE to talk about that some day.

SOOOO what’d you think? Have you seen IT yet?! Have you always pictures Rob at Edward Cullen or am I alone in this one?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

129 Commented

Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Angry Rob and Ludacris!

Dear Rob,

We meet Stephenie Meyer yesterday and we talk about it at LTT. You should read it. Now.

But one of the things we discussed which we will get into much further detail at a later date is how hot “Edward” and in turn you are when you’re all pissed off or fighting. We’ve talked about it like a billion times here before and I even mentioned how someone should make a video with all your fight moments put with my favorite pissed off song “Get Back” by Ludacris and well what do you know it we got one! Ask and ya shall receive.

Corie was kind enough to create this piece of smokin’ hot video for us to feast our eyes on while we recover from the happy-time-explosion in our brains from meeting Stephenie yesterday. So here we go..

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

62 Commented

Rob on Nightline: Puts on some tweed and gets all Rob/Twilosophical on us

Somewhere around 2:00 – The old crusty guy from MTV talks about the chaste Twilight saga and why it’s so alluring in this hyper-sexualized world we live in today and Rob answers with…

“…they just like that moment, the kind of tipping point before it all goes over. Everyone likes that, that’s the best part for a relationship…”

Dear Rob,

It’s so true… the more and more I read/watch/hear about you the more I know you just get it. I’ve said the phrase “get it” a lot lately and maybe that’s for a reason. We all like when someone else “gets us.” And you prove yourself again and again at age 24 talking about what’s so alluring about the relationship between Edward and Bella and why it’s not always the hardcore sex stuff we want to see (well, most of us) it’s really everything that leads up to it. It’s that tension, the give and take, the building of the emotion and relationship and all without, what old MTV dude grossly calls it: a “vampiric release.”

What are we talking about? The tipping point? Um, yesss.....

It’s like what Russell Hammond from the seminal rock group Stillwater says “It’s not about what you put it, it’s about what you leave out…” Sometimes it’s just better to not have everything spelled out, Stephenie Meyer can take us all the way to that edge with Bella and Edward and then leave us hanging because she doesn’t need to push us, she can let our imaginations take over. Anything we could imagine or think up would be far better than whatever scenario she could create. The imagination is a powerful tool that takes the story of Bella and Edward to levels no one could write about because it’s relying on feelings and events we’ve personally experienced or want to experience. And no one can replicate that with the written word, because we all have had a different experience. We all know what it feels like to be taken to that edge in a relationship to feel the tension and the unknown and the feeling of wanting to feel it all. I gotta agree that may just be the best part.

After you fall over the edge you come into a knowledge about that person and the relationship. Then things mature and change. Though there’s definitely nothing wrong with that and we all know a relationship can’t stay at the pre-edge stage forever(we’d all die of nervousness, malnutrition and euphoria overload!) I do think people spend lifetimes chasing after that feeling again. I also think that feeling is just one of the (BIG!) reasons why the Twilight saga is so popular, it’s because it gives us a taste of that first love, on the edge of the cliff feeling all over again. Isn’t that what we all want sometimes?

Now stop making me love you even more! It’s quite annoying.

XO
Themoonisdown

Do you agree? Is the edge what everyone’s always chasing? Is that why the saga is so popular? Do you love Rob even more now? But srsly, watch this interview it’s GREAT!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

106 Commented

You, me, sometime around midnight

my fave pic of you!

Dear Rob-

I’m totally in the throes of Midnight Sun right now and I’ve written my first letter about it over on our sister site, Letters to Twilight. I can’t help but hope/wish/pray that Stephenie Meyer decides to finish it and some smarty producer decides that it needs to be made into a movie with you starring in it. Forget that Bella/Twilight nonsense, give us Edward in Midnight Sun or give us death!

The end.
Me

PS if you’re loving these Letters to Rob, why not share a letter yourself or comment (we LOVE commenters! you guys rule!) then head over to our other guilty little pleasure we like to call Letters to Twilight where we cover everything (and we mean EVERYTHING) in the twi-universe. We also make up all kinds of words using the ‘twi’ prefix, get used to it. twi-bye. ok, not really.

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