Inside the LTR vault

Since Rob did nothing of importance (as always) this weekend, I dug into the far-reaches of the LTR vault (aka all the unposted letters in our email account tagged “LTR potential.” There are over 85!) to see if I could find anything interesting from ages past that I never posted. There were MANY! And so I thought it would be fun to see what we were thinking about awhile ago, in regards to Rob. Surprisingly (or not) it’s not much different…

March 24, 2010

Dear Rob,

One of the things I love best about you is your tightwad, hobo style. I love that you still bust out the same blue sweater from the Harry Potter days. I love that you wore a jacket with a ripped sleeve on national TV. I love that you’re not afraid to wear your beloved tshirts into rags (which then require emergency sewing skillz). However, I’m worried about your wardrobe and its apparent rapid depletion.

No one rocks an old ratty sweater that they wore to the 11th grade homecoming dance that they went to with that homely girl with braces where their mom took pictures like it was their wedding day, like you do...

The lovely LTR/LTT ladies have been keeping tabs on yours and Kristen’s shirt sharing habits over on the forum, and I’m starting to get a bit concerned. How many shirts do you own? Maybe five? Six tops? There has been photographic evidence of Kristen wearing at least three of your shirts, leaving you with a grand remaining total of three. Frankly, this BOTHERS me.

(here is a video showing proof of this Clothes-swapping which has over 100,000 views. Yes, you may feel very very ashamed)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42J2Oyh5DR4]

When TomStu borrows one of your shirts, it’s not long before we see you wearing one of his. When you show up to an event in one of Sam’s (or was that Marcus’s sweaty red plaid shirt that you wore to the VMA’s?) sweaty button downs from the night before, eventually he’s going to show up wearing something of yours. It’s like a giant communal shirt bank that never varies in number. But what could Kristen possibly contribute to the bank? Is she going to swap her electric pink mesh-insert Runaways premier dress for your Stoli shirt? Dude. Seriously. She’s depleting the bank! Don’t be a victim!

You may have to mow over THAT girl to get to THAT shirt

Think of the repercussions. If she keeps “borrowing” your shirts at this rate, it won’t be long until the guys kick you out of the bank and you’re forced into prying the ducky sweater (obviously way too awesome to be a part of the shirt bank) out of TomStu’s cold, dead hands (because he’s not giving up THAT baby without a fight). Or worse yet, you’ll be forced to walk around shirtless…

………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………

Oh, hi, Rob. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah. I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE when you let Kristen borrow your shirts.

Was worried but now notsomuch,

amazingplinko

P.S. If you ever show up in any pictures wearing the ducky sweater? You will automatically pass go, collect 100 dollars, and become my favorite person in the ENTIRE universe until the end of time.

Rob never borrowed that Duck sweater, did he? I can’t remember ever seeing it. And I’m PRETTY SURE we wouldn’t forget Rob wearing the BEST SWEATER of ALL TIME!!!! 

PPS: Caption on the first image above was from This funny Post from 2009!! We’ve been discussing Rob’s “Fashion” (or lack thereof!) for YEARS now!

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7 Commented

MTV asks us to AskRob and we’ve got some questions

(welcome to me trying to remember my original Wednesday post that got eaten by our server… here goes…)

Josh Horowitz says what?!

Dear Rob,

With Water for Elephants just around the corner all the press is starting to heat up MTV is going to be doing a lil segment with you called Ask Rob where they (duh) ask you questions submitted by fans via twitter to @MTVNews with the hashtag #AskRob. So of course we couldn’t leave Josh Horowitz up to his own fanboy devices so we’ve come up with some questions, if given the chance, we’d #AskRob… cause really we should be asked to interview you cause I can tell you we would NOT be asking about your hair or sparkling or abs. So with that in mind and our self imposed moratorium on questions pertaining to Le Stew and Twilight here is what we would…

Ask Rob

Hmmm how shall I answer this??

• Why have you not returned any of my calls? #AskRob

• Are you jealous that your internet meme Jumping Rob isnt as big as say Ryan Goslings “hey girl” or Sad Don Draper or “Prancing Cera” and “Strutting Leo?” #AskRob

• Follow up question are you planning any bigger jumps in Vancouver or are you going to try a different approach say dancing or leaping maybe? #AskRob

• If you could only choose one flavor to eat for the rest of your life would be be ham and broccoli or pepperoni and three cheese hot pockets? #AskRob

• If you became too busy to do errands do you feel comfortable letting Tom Sturridge choose what underwpants you wear for the rest of your life? #AskRob

• Does Reese make your list of Top 3 MILFS? #AskRob

• Tell us the truth- did you ever fall asleep with Rosie in the elephant stall? #AskRob

• Since you’re so close, if Rosie was ever out of a job and asked to crash on your couch would you let her? #AskRob

• Did you ever slip up and call Christophe Waltz Capt Von Trapp? And moreover would you agree that Christophe is the Christopher Plummer of our generation? #AskRob

 

• Tell the truth, is Martin the dog named after the guitar brand or are you just a huge Martin fan? #DaaaaamnGina #AskRob

Then since I’m equal opportunity and I like to be unbiased I asked a guy friend what he would ask Rob if he would. After assuring me he was straight and asking me not to reveal his identity (I’m sure you can guess) and me telling him to “be nicer” he gave me these questions to #AskRob

Don't mind that heavy breathing on the other end of the line, that's just me

• Have you accepted your slow and unenviable decline into mediocrity and general luke perry-ness yet, or are you waiting until after rehab? #AskRob

• When did you realize you were gay? #AskRob

• Do you ever worry that your face is going to get stuck like that? #AskRob

• How long do you think you can use being British as a cover for you being the weirdest dude alive? #AskRob

• In the middle of the night, do you ever wake up in a cold sweat screaming DAMN YOU BEIBER!? #AskRob

So maybe not nicer but definitely made us laugh. Clearly we need to be put in a room with you for 15 minutes. We should also be allowed to interview you at some point, but that’s neither here nor there.

Happy Friday!
Themoonisdown

What would you ask Rob if given the chance? Should we take bets on how long Josh Horowitz waits to ask about Kristen or Breaking Dawn? Have a question but don’t have twitter or don’t want to sully the rep of your feed? Post it in the comments and we’ll ask the ones that make us laugh the most!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

131 Commented

Breaking it down: Rob stars in a remake of Yentl

Dear Rob,

We spent a good part of Wednesday afternoon wondering why everyone was talking about “Amish Rob” and what did that mean? Why were you Amish? Had you grown a beard over night and drove a horse a buggy to set forsaking all modern conveniences? Had you just watched The Witness and got inspired by Harrison Ford and wanted to make a bird house? Had you grown tired of your Rumspringa and joined the church? Turns out some behind the scenes photos from your upcoming Vanity Fair spread had hit the webs… we break it down and about half way through figure out the Amish thing after we made up our own scenario…

Oh hai

The one where we try to figure out what’s going on
Moon: OMG MAN rob vanity fair behind the scenes pics
UC: oh WOW looks ….different
Moon: theres a hat!
UC: that hat! where is he going?!
UC: omg haha that’s so gay SO GAY
Moon: it’s like Lennie from Of Mice and Men
UC: hahahaha
Moon: omg! I have it! Have you seen Yentl??? with Barbra Streisand?
UC: no! but can imagine! he looks jewish… OR AMISH
THAT’S WHY THEY’RE CALLING HIM AMISH ROB!
Moon: now it makes sense!!
.

Rob the Yeshiva boy!!!

The one where Rob’s Jewish
UC: omg this is gonna be a disaster if this endds up looking hot… i just… will be shocked
Moon: he looks like freaking Anchel or Agvidor or a classmate in Yentl. He’s about to breaking out into “PAPA CAN YOU HEAR ME???!! Papa can you see me? Papa can you find me in the niiiiight?”
UC: hahahahhahahahaha
Moon: this is him off to hebrew school/Yeshiva…
.

Shabbat Happens

it’s SO that movie. dude if this vanity fair cover is not Yentl themed we’ve been jipped!!
UC: hahahahahahahhaha

I'll be your Schiksa! (This is my life people, I make things like this)

Moon: who is the Hadass in this photoshoot?! because i volunteer to get an AWFUL perm to play hadass!! THAT is committment.
UC: hhahaha
Moon:this will be me playing the role of Hadass to Rob’s Agvidvor and they could even get Tom Sturridge to play Anchel!!
UC: you look just like her with your red hair
Moon: me and Hadass… separated at birth… and tribe…
.

The one where Canadia rules

What we'll be wearing when we immigrate to the great white north

Moon: DUDE this is the week that just keeps on giving! it’s like nothing for weeks and months on end then BAM we hit the end of February and the world loves us again
UC: of COURSE they’re back in Canada. Canada rules apparently
Moon: canada loves us and wants the best for us. it’s time to immigrate i think. this is a sign
UC: plus it’s apparently really easy to stalk set & get away with it! Screw America
Moon: clearly. TOO many rules and safe guards here. canada likes it’s unsafe and possibly open to crazies. this is where we need to go
UC: plus with Palin 2012 coming up we’ve been talking about where to move
Moon: if palin and glenn beck enter the race, i’m coming for you canada!
.

I'm a man baby!

The one where we talk about Fan Fic and fail
Moon: can we give it up for this shot?
UC: yeah… that’s hot, i mean… doesnt look like him…kinda looks like Edward but it’s hot
Moon: if vanity fair doesnt want to go my Yentl version of the photo shoot than DAYUM ill be alright with just that photo. he looks like a “man” again
UC: YES
Moon: it’s like we’ve watched him grow from college boy to MAN. woah
UC: WHOA. seriously… he looks like he’s about to make some trades on wallstreet here
and it’s hot. i’d do him at his desk at lunch time as long as he’s not in one of those office spaces where he shares with other junior traders.. since he’s new to trading & works 90+ hour weeks
Moon: you’d rather do him a la THE OFFICE… holler old FF!!
UC: hahaah i forgot about that!
Moon: THAT is this rob

Whips? Chains? Computers? File Folders?

UC: YES he is “whips & chains Rob”
Moon: was that s&m??
UC: yes! The office… oh wait, no??
Moon: isnt the office just about a guy and some secretary? did i mix them up? and wasnt the dom and sub or whatever about s&m??
UC: yes! maybe?
Moon: ff readers everywhere are cringing at us… “this has been an episode of girls who sort of read like 4 chapters of a fic once discussing it now”
UC: did they do it on top of a plate of cookies?
UC: a different type of cookie every day? brought in for an office party? by a sad girl… afraid to sleep? 🙂
Moon: no cookies… was that other one that EVERYONE loved that i never finished
UC: ME NEITHER
Moon: it was like the first…. OH OH WIDE AWAKE…
UC: hahaha
Moon: this should be a weekly post by us: “moon and uc talk about stuff they dont know anything about!”
UC: Moon & UC review fan fic!
Moon: this sounds like our first twilight convo! “that guy is so cute… what’s his name? robert patterson! from harry potter?” Totally like that. But Yentl… Yentl, I know!

So in the end it turns out “Amish Rob” was “Yentl Rob” in our hearts and we really know bubkitss when it comes to fan fic but one things for sure, we LOVE seeing you out and aboot (yea Canada we got you!) in Vancouver or via pictures from upcoming magazines we’ll wallpaper our laundry rooms in. THIS is what makes blogging fun. YOU!

Papa can you seeeee me??
Themoonisdown

So what’s you think of Amish/Yentl Rob? Do you want to be the Hadass to his Agvidor? Would you serve him potatoes in your parents dining room? OK, I’m a fan. Clearly.

Source: Robsessed, Absofreakinglutely, other places?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

104 Commented

The year in Rob 2010 – top moments (that should have been)

2010 was goo!

Dear Rob,

It’s the end of the year and everyone is doing those count down of their favorite movies/music/current events, what have you and who would we be to not join in the fun with some of yours. But rather than count down our fave moments cause well, we talk about them a lot, I think I’m going to count down our favorite moments of yours the way I saw them…

1. Shopping with Tom Sturridge for underpants and whatnot – This was definitely one of our favorite moments of the year we’ve talked about it non stop and who wouldn’t? You were seen buying your drawers with your BFF?

How I saw it... After clearing out the contents of John Varvatos, Paul Smith and Penguin stores, Robert Pattinson and pal Tom Sturridge were seen out for months to follow at bars, shows, and friends places wearing the latest in men’s fashions. No word yet on the origins of the mysterious dumpster fire involving a lot of used men’s clothing (beanies, old leather briefcases, holey shirts and pants, etc) that was set ablaze in the lovely neighborhood of Barnes, London. Officials say they were glad the used clothing was not donated to charity shops because the levels of toxins found at the blaze were extraordinary and estimate that the clothing had not been washed in several years leading to complete annihilation of the rancid clothing and the dumpster.

Coming fall 2011 to Oprah’s new network! It’s the Rob Show!

2. Robert Pattinson on the Jay Leno Show – HOT HOT HOT, there’s really no other words for this suit and the resulting stories about his dad and the amazing emails he receives from Dick Pattinson.

How I saw it… Sensing the huge success of any television appearances he makes and the resulting high levels of estrogen in the studio, Robert Pattinson signs a deal with OWN media and starts his own chat show focused on women ages 18 – to old to remember. Topics will include: how to snag the (younger) man of your dreams, cougars vs sabers who would win his heart and guests Alex Sarsgaard, Iam Somerhalder, Chuck Bass (his real name),  and himself, Robert Pattinson.

I’ve gotta get to those fans!! Outta my way!

3. Rob films Water for Elephants in California and draws legions of fans to set locations every day – Who didn’t love seeing Rob in those period clothes, taming wild beasts and making out with Reese Witherspoon? We sure did. But some folks loved it aaaaaallllooottt and committed part of their summer to being a regular on set… or off set as it were.

How I saw it… Touched by the devotion of his fans Rob stoped his chauffeured car as he left the set of Water for Elephants today to tell them how much he appreciated them. But overcome with emotion, Rob actually proposes to every single fan gathered (5ish people) and suggests they all live on a compound in glorious Big Love-esque harmony. Every day is spent beginning with an hour long session of Rob flexes his hands and fingers for all to watch and drool. Then he picks up a guitar and puts it down, never playing, only teasing. They then all wake up from this glorious dream and seek psychological therapy.

CANNONBALL INTERNETS!!!!

4. Ready to cool off in the Atlantic Ocean while filming Breaking Dawn, Rob takes an awkward jump that will go down in history. – What else is there to say about Jumping Rob besides it’s pure, unintended choice GENIUS!

How I saw it… jealous of the popularity of Prancing Cera, Leo Struts, Sad Don Draper and Ryan Gosling’s “Hey Girl,”  among others, Robert Pattinson had been brainstorming a way to catch the hearts of the interwebs to make him even more famous for awkwardly jumping into the ocean than for being a sparkly vampire. After attempts such as “Air Guitar Rob” in Vancouver, “Underwear Rob” in London and  “Homie Rob” in LA all failed he saw his chance in Brazil. All it took was a hop skip and awkward jump into the ocean and into the interwebs hearts forever.

BOTHERED!!

5. Robert is Bothered… Knowing that ladies love cool Rob and will watch anything with Robert Pattinson in it, Jimmy Fallon launches the hilarious reoccuring bit called “Robert is Bothered” on his late night chat show. Rob eventually joins him for an episode in April of 2010 to let Jimmy know he really isn’t bothered, maybe a bit broken

How I saw it… Clearly, the BIGGEST male fan of Rob (and Twilight) to ever have his own late night chat show and power to make and air hilarious sketches, Jimmy Fallon created Robert is Bothered in an elaborate plot to lure the actor on his show and steal an autograph/hug/lock of hair. After having other cast members on to throw footballs and ride mini crotch rocket motorcycles, Jimmy knew he had to step up his game to lure in the big dog, Robert Pattinson and thus Robert is Bothered was created!

As you can see, how I saw your top moments of 2010 was waaaaayyy more exciting than how they actually played out. We will, however, be eternally grateful to you for bringing us such amazingness like Jumping Rob and Bothered that will last us through 2011. How can you top it this time??

2011 Here We Come!
Themoonisdown

Was this how you saw Rob’s top moments of 2010? What did I miss or did they go down differently to you? Share!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

52 Commented

A Christmas coma

Dear Rob,

Are you in a Christmas coma? Cuz I am. I’ve been going going going for days on end so when Moon texted me last night asking what we were doing for the blogs today while Mr. Choice & I were driving in a 1 hour-turned-2 hour trip home because of crazy snow, I was happy when she suggested we do nothing. No offense. I feel kinda bad (mostly for those who have to work today & were counting on the distraction) but I don’t have to work today, Santa brought me an iPad that I’m having a lot of fun with and I’m officially snowed in for the first time since I moved into Philadelphia. Which I think gives me an excuse to go to my favorite neighborhood bar and drink at noon.

I do have to tell you that I just watched “Pirate Radio” for the first time & was pleasantly surprised that due to Tom Sturridge’s impressive acting skills, I was able to forget that he’s the creepy kid seen stalking you in the background of your pictures. It was nice. And after I said “He & Rob are bffs” to Mr. Choice he said “I understand Tom’s appeal. He’s sexy, but I just don’t get it with Paddleston.” What? I think Tom is adorable in a I-just-lost-my-virginity kinda way in Pirate Radio, but sexier than you?? No way!

I was not thinking about this

Hope your Christmas was grand,
Love UC!

PS: How was your holiday? I am seriously so exhausted. Also all the commercials on Demand for that movie “Easy A” really make me want to rent it Just a sidenote. If you are at work or home with nothing to do or a bar open at noon you can walk to (and I’m terribly sorry) Why don’t you read an old post but a GOOD post. I’m not even going to give you a teaser- you’ll just have to click on it to see what I’m talking about (no it’s not the one with penis tattoos!)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

59 Commented