The gossip and the what if’s of Rob and Kristen breakin’ up!

Dear Rob,

Word on the street (aka Star Magazine or as we call it “The News”) has it that ol Krissy Stew (makes her less intimidating, right?) has been stepping out on you with the Country Strong dude himself, Garrett Hedlund in an effort to make you jeals because according to the gossip hounds you’ve been out acting like a playboy.

Ok, ok… everyone can stop laughing from both those tidbits. Kristen making you jealous…. and you acting like a playboy.

Are we making you jealous yet, Rob? Yet… what about now? Now?

The rumors go that Kristen and Garrett snuck off to The Roxy where they got caught. Yea, caught for bad taste! Let me give you a hint of the types that play at the Roxy: Sam Bradley, 100 Monkeys and Steel Panther. It’s like a less sad version of the Key Club. And THAT’S saying something. So first of all if THAT’S where they’re going you should just pull the rip chord cause you don’t want to be with her, there’s no telling what she would put on a mix tape for you. I’m JUST SAYING! Also, I’d like to think if KStew wanted to make you jealous, Rob she’d come up with something WAY better than the Roxy. I mean she’s working in London right now, she has Tom Stu on speed dial and access to someone who can send her In N Out and paparazzi at her finger tips. If she REALLY wanted to make you jealous I think she’d employ some sort of burger fetish scenario with some dudes and not some cheese ball show at the Roxy

Then we get to the part about you partying like a single guy on the set of Cosmopolis in Toronto. Hanging out on a balcony with a dog and two dudes? Walking from your trailer to set with your burly man guard wearing a fishing vest? Someone should alert Hugh Hefner and Joe Francis because this is the sign of a true player! I sure hope they’re taking notes somewhere.

But can you dance like THIS Garrett Headlund?! That’s what I thought

Before I sound too Robsten-y, and really we all know this is crap cause it is Star (I mean THE NEWS) but WHAT IIIIFFF… GOD FORBID (please don’t kill me Robsteners) what if they, on some crazy world none of us want to live in, cause if robsten ain’t together life isn’t worth living, they break up? What would happen if something like this was REALLY true… what if they weren’t the happy holy family with the dogs and cats and yellow duffle bag and wrist holding that we all love. What would happen if Rob really was doing it up like a single guy in Toronto and he was all disheveled in those pictures because in the hotel room are a bunch of slutty fangirls hookers and what if Kristen really was asking the Tron guy to show her his life disc (that’s probably sexy to a comic book nerd)? All I have to say is I don’t want to be anywhere near a computer or mobile device with any sort of link to Twitter because it will spontaneously burst in flames and tears accompanied by the wailing and gnashing of teeth and probably some maniacal laughing (me and UC).

Nice try Tornado! They’re not scared

Rob, I also ask that if you haven’t devised a break up plan, you, Stephanie, Nick and Dean come up with some STAT because IF this ever happens I might actually fear for you life. Regardless of who’s “fault” it is I will never underestimate a Kristen fan. If you pitted a Kristen fan against a natural disaster I’d go to Vegas with a wad of Taco Bell coupons and bet it ALL on KStew lovers. Their shit is NOT weak. It’s more scary.

So should this awful event ever happen Rob, please activate your panic room (heh see what I did there) or get thee to my house were all LTR girls will ban together to form a human lady force shield of protectiveness while we take turns employing the tactics of the wolfpack by running perimeters around my house. You will be safe… till they figure out how to tunnel in. And they will.

May the lady force be with you…
Themoonisdown

PS Happy Birthday Momma Moon!!!!!!!

Are you worried for Rob if/when they break up? Is this a totally irrational possibility I’ve made up? Do we think there’s any truth to jealousy and acting single? Also, I’m starting a sign-up who can be on parameters from midnight till 3AM?

Source

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

102 Commented


A little Rob picture magic!

Dear Rob,

So I was perusing the interwebs as I do 24/7/365 and once everyone started freaking out about you and Bear (srsly, can we work on that name?) together in a picture I had to click over there. You know me and dogs… it’s like my kryptonite or my drug of choice or just my excuse to talk in weird voices. This is what I saw…


Meh… I can’t really see you and I definitely can’t see Bear and there’s a big sweaty guy over there distracting me…

But then I scrolled around and saw this…

And I thought where are the pictures of you in this Cosmopolis tux and do-me-Moon haircut WHILE hanging out with Bear? I want to see those pictures! I want to matte and frame those pictures… So here’s what I did…


AWWWW cute, right? And then I thought well what if I amped it up a bit…


NOOOW we’re getting warmer…

And then I decided to turn it up to 11…

.

Then I was like why the heck not, let’s go buck wild here!

.

Then shit just got real crazy…

.

I tried to fit this in but I blacked out…

I woke up in a pool of my own drool in a straight jacket. I’m currently being held on a 5150 at Cedars Sinai in LA. Clearly, making this stuff deems me unstable. Or 13 years old. As you can see I think my version of you with a dog is WAY better than that blurry hotel dude who needs a dye job picture… AM I RIGHT??!! AMIRIGHT?!COMEON!

Puppies and rainbows!
Themoonisdown

Did those Bear pictures kinda not do it for you? Did you already make this into a background on your computer? What else can I add to this picture of epic epicness?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

80 Commented


Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTR Privacy Policy



Sponsored by