Summit doesn’t “Get” Rob Pattinson’s Attraction

Dear Rob,

I’m gonna go out on a limb here & say that I don’t think Summit understands how hot you are. Sure they “get it” a little bit. They didn’t fire you after the first movie when they had more money to hire a bigger “star.” They understood that you as Edward was a big part of Twilight’s success (and also Buttcrack Santa, may he rest in peace), but it’s become clear to me that they don’t really understand the extent of your good-looks and our attraction to you. Or, at least, they don’t know what to do with it.

Yes, I’m talking about how they turned Edward the hot 17 year old from Twilight (the one success of Cathy Hardi) into a tweed-wearing Grandpa with who constantly sucks on werthers candy in New Moon:

And then in Eclipse they apparently tried to appeal to the German fans & turned you into a David Hasselhoff-clone

And then they did what we all feared when we first read that Bella got knocked-up.. Turned Edward into a “Dad.” I don’t know what job he has specifically, but it’s definitely something in sales.

Is it real estate?

How about used cars?

I’m afraid there’s gonna be a scene in Rio where Edward runs into the Tommy Bahama outlet to pick up a few Palm Tree golf shirts.

Do I need to remind Summit of your attraction, Rob, and give them some ideas for how Edward COULD have looked?

Sad-ward for when he leaves Bella in New Moon:


Bad-ass-ward for when Edward isn’t ABOUT to lose Bella to Jacob in Eclipse:

And then Nesting-ward for when Edward finally gets to lose his v-card, father a cute kid & just “hang out and stuff” or whatever they plan to do for the rest of eternity:


THAT’s the Edward I read when I first read the Twilight books. Summit is gonna get me into the theater either way, but I might just go a couple more times if Edward looks like the Edward of my dreams… (so… you in all your photo-shoots. Sorry- it’s your life now)



What do you think? Are you as unimpressed as I am with these Edward-in-Breaking-Dawn photos? I’m SERIOUSLY getting a “Salesman” vibe from them….

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72 Commented

MTV asks us to AskRob and we’ve got some questions

(welcome to me trying to remember my original Wednesday post that got eaten by our server… here goes…)

Josh Horowitz says what?!

Dear Rob,

With Water for Elephants just around the corner all the press is starting to heat up MTV is going to be doing a lil segment with you called Ask Rob where they (duh) ask you questions submitted by fans via twitter to @MTVNews with the hashtag #AskRob. So of course we couldn’t leave Josh Horowitz up to his own fanboy devices so we’ve come up with some questions, if given the chance, we’d #AskRob… cause really we should be asked to interview you cause I can tell you we would NOT be asking about your hair or sparkling or abs. So with that in mind and our self imposed moratorium on questions pertaining to Le Stew and Twilight here is what we would…

Ask Rob

Hmmm how shall I answer this??

  • Why have you not returned any of my calls? #AskRob
  • Follow up question are you planning any bigger jumps in Vancouver or are you going to try a different approach say dancing or leaping maybe? #AskRob


  • If you could only choose one flavor to eat for the rest of your life would be be ham and broccoli or pepperoni and three cheese hot pockets? #AskRob
  • If you became too busy to do errands do you feel comfortable letting Tom Sturridge choose what underwpants you wear for the rest of your life? #AskRob
  • Does Reese make your list of Top 3 MILFS? #AskRob
  • Tell us the truth- did you ever fall asleep with Rosie in the elephant stall? #AskRob
  • Since you’re so close, if Rosie was ever out of a job and asked to crash on your couch would you let her? #AskRob
  • Did you ever slip up and call Christophe Waltz Capt Von Trapp? And moreover would you agree that Christophe is the Christopher Plummer of our generation? #AskRob


  • Tell the truth, is Martin the dog named after the guitar brand or are you just a huge Martin fan? #DaaaaamnGina #AskRob

Then since I’m equal opportunity and I like to be unbiased I asked a guy friend what he would ask Rob if he would. After assuring me he was straight and asking me not to reveal his identity (I’m sure you can guess) and me telling him to “be nicer” he gave me these questions to #AskRob

Don't mind that heavy breathing on the other end of the line, that's just me

  • Have you accepted your slow and unenviable decline into mediocrity and general luke perry-ness yet, or are you waiting until after rehab? #AskRob
  • When did you realize you were gay? #AskRob
  • Do you ever worry that your face is going to get stuck like that? #AskRob
  • How long do you think you can use being British as a cover for you being the weirdest dude alive? #AskRob
  • In the middle of the night, do you ever wake up in a cold sweat screaming DAMN YOU BEIBER!? #AskRob

So maybe not nicer but definitely made us laugh. Clearly we need to be put in a room with you for 15 minutes. We should also be allowed to interview you at some point, but that’s neither here nor there.

Happy Friday!

What would you ask Rob if given the chance? Should we take bets on how long Josh Horowitz waits to ask about Kristen or Breaking Dawn? Have a question but don’t have twitter or don’t want to sully the rep of your feed? Post it in the comments and we’ll ask the ones that make us laugh the most!

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131 Commented

Best Robert Pattinson fan photo ever (next to the boobs one)

Dear Rob,

Since my original post about MTV’s #AskRob got eaten by the server faeries at Media Temple (UGH!) I shall post this instead…

The best Robert Pattinson fan photo to date (except that one where you’re looking at the girls boobs)

Dear Girl in the front,

You are my favorite… ever. I think we all know why.

Oh and Rob, I can’t even be bothered by the weird face you’re making or the fact you JUST saw Red Riding Hood before this was taken, because clearly you read my glowing *ahem* review of the movie and really needed a laugh and clearly you know that these girls just created photography magic and made me laugh really hard.

Happy hump day to us all,

Feel free to share your caption in the comments!

Source: Thanks to where I saw this and you can read the rest over there

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

113 Commented

Hold on to your pants, Rob’s gonna be performing music in Breaking Dawn

(Sorry I’m the victim of shoddy internet AGAIN. Thanks Time Warner! My apologies friends!!!)

Ladies, why are you all fainting?

Dear Rob,

I have a pork shoulder all ready to cook, the beginnings of a killer cheesecake and my hands smell Like bbq rub and I’m speechless. Not because I’m making a birthday dinner tonight like a grown up but because of what I just read. I’m sitting here catching up on news in your world and then I came upon this piece of news from Carter burwell who will/is scoring Breaking Dawn

(before I drop this news I want all the ladies reading to close their office door, grab an emergency edward pillow to scream into and have some smelling salts handy because trust me, you’ll need them)

According to Carter’s official site

“Carter just wrote Renesmee’s Lullaby” for Twilight Breaking Dawn 2, which Rob Pattinson will play on camera. The film will be released in November 2012

Also according to his Official Twitter Rob will be playing it on camera THIS WEEK.

*silence. Stunned silence*

I call this the "Trying not to eat you is hard blues"

Now I’m not too proud to say I may have done a little happy dance (lots of awkward hip thrusts and Brenden Fraser claps) around my kitchen when I read the news but Rob you understand. You know the draw a rockstar has. They can be the biggest sad sack on the planet but give them a guitar and a stage and ladies be trippin’ all over themselves. Then add in the fact you’re a movie star. Throw on top of that you’re the dude who plays Edward freakin Cullen and you’ve got the deadliest combination known to ladykind. We’re powerless to that kind of awesomeness. I won’t even add in the fact that you’ll be singing a lullaby to Renesmee making it Daddyward on the keys cause then we can all kiss what braincells we had left good bye. We’ll just pretend that part doesn’t happen till it happens so we can maintain some sanity.

Now I won’t ruin the moment by saying Carter Burwells Twilight score was my least favorite of the movies scores and Bellas lullaby did about nothing for me but it did give us our first glimpse of you playing the piano which oddly enough is the exact scene playing on the TV RIGHT NOW whilst I write this. Yea so if Twi or NM is on Showtime I may leave it on in the background. So sue me, I’m a fan. And I’m pretty sure we all have you singing “Never Think” and “Let Me Sign” burned into our memories.

The only thing wrong with this bit of news?? We get to torture ourselves thinking about it for another year and a half since Breaking Dawn part 2 won’t be out till November 2012. Ugh

Staring a new countdown clock… 647 Days (wow, that’s painful)

PS Kristin (mod kristin)- get ready, dust off your docs.

And just for clicks after the cut let’s listen to some Rob music


125 Commented

Robert Pattinson Stalker Alert!

Dear Rob,

No I’m not talking to your fans here or the crazy Twihards, I’m talking about your new costar: Paul Giamatti

Hey Paul, I think I speak for all of us when I say: “Get in line, friend!” We’ve got over 2 years of official stalking going on here. I don’t care if you’re costars or whatever. You have no official/secret documentation of your stalkership. Thus we must pull rank and insist you get to the back of the line.

BUUUTTTT we will make some exceptions… If you promise to do the following we may let you close to the front:

1. Word on the street is that in your movie with Rob he drives around in a limo all day and if we take a wild guess and assume YOU’RE the limo driver, can you promise us one day on set while you’re doing exterior shoots driving Rob around, you hit the lock button on the limo and then drive the limo to the nearest city where we live (UC is in Philly), unlock the doors, slow down to 10mph honk and wait for us to jump in? Can you do that? After that, you can ditch the limo, we don’t care. Go get a philly cheesesteak. Whatever.

2. You take your Sideways wine info and leftover bottles of vino to lure Rob into your hotel room/apt/whatever, get him drunk and then ask him all kinds of questions: do you read LTR daily or have an email alert? Did you “get lost” near a church in Vancouver just so LTR would blog about it? Do you call up TomStu for a photoop outing when you think the LTR girls have been good?

3. Fly down to Baton Rouge on the guise of “getting to know your future costar better” take secret cell phone camera shots of the set and any scenes involving Dadward and Renesmee and then send them back to us as proof that filming is actually occurring and not just one big Texas Hold ‘Em tourney in Rob’s hotel room.

Ok, if you promise to do these things we’ll let you into the stalking…. I mean FAN club. But we’re NOT drinking ANY merlot!

Who doesn’t love a Sideways joke?

PS check it I double blogged over at ltt today also! Someone love me right now!
PPS If you’re a lovely reader from somewhere in Europe and if you don’t mind saying where you’re from in the comments, I’m doing a little research for a possible trip n things… please and thank you!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

158 Commented

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