Open Weekend Post: The Museum of Rob

This weekend we’re getting a little cultured as we visit the Museum of Rob!

Dear Rob,

When I saw the headline a few months back, “Rob Pattinson Gets Waxed” it was a bit of a shock. WHAT were you waxing and WHY?? But no, to my relief your pubes were intact and the article was about your new figure at Madame Tussauds! There was pandemonium on opening day! Women lined up to have their pic taken with you and to run their hands through your fake hair! It kind of looks like you, but there’s something a little off. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick wax Rob out of bed, but it’s not quite you. The clothes, the posture, the eyes-it’s just a bit off. But seeing you in that “museum” got me thinking-Rob,you deserve more than a cheesy wax effigy. You deserve your OWN museum. Sure, you’ve only been famous for a few years, but to me, you are a work of art. So I started tossing around some ideas…

Welcome to The Museum of Rob
Containing artifacts spanning over twenty-four years.

Item: Policeman’s hat.
Materials: plastic
Date: c.1990
Donated by: Mrs. Diana Nutley
Provenance: Pattinson family attic.

a

Item: Child’s leash
Materials: leather, metal
Date: 1989
Donated by: Mrs. Diana Nutley
Provenance: Used to protect Rob from himself on the playground.

a

Item: Miu Miu swim trunks
Materials: nylon
Date: 2002
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain unknown.
Provenance: Worn by Rob in an unfortunate photoshoot.

a

Item: Wand
Materials: Ash, Unicorn(?) Hair
Date: 2004
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous.
Provenance: This is the wand used by Rob in the fourth Harry Potter film. We are thrilled to have Rob’s wand on display.

Item: Beanie
Materials: Wool
Date: 2008
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous.
Provenance: Worn daily by Rob in a futile attempt to disguise his hair.

a

Item: Plaid shirt
Materials: Cotton, plastic
Date: 2009
Donated by: M. Foster
Provenance: this is a particularly rare and coveted piece, as it was worn consecutively by all members of the Brit Pack. Unwashed.

a

Item: Beard Stubble
Materials: Human hair
Date:2009
Donated by: Hotel cleaning staff
Provenance: Undisclosed hotel, bathroom sink.

a

Item: One half of size 36C nude bra
Materials: Nylon, cotton, tape
Date: 2009
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous
Provenance: Rob’s privates, used unsuccessfully as “modesty patch” during filming.

I’d pay to see just to see the modesty patch!

-dazzledtodeath

What other artifacts of Rob’s life would YOU pay to see in a Rob museum!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

116 Commented