Stuff my Grandma says about Rob Pattinson


Dear Rob,

Last night I had a dinner date with my 73 year old grandmother. Then she took me to Kohls to buy me lots of gifts. [Sidenote: Moon & I discussed how all grandmom’s really love Kohls. I think it’s all the coupons. And the Sr. Citizen discount. But then I saved $110 at Kohls last night on some really cute things & decided I must be a grandmom. I love Kohls too.] But during dinner she slid something across the table towards me, and when I turned it over, much to my surprise (because I really really really thought I hid my obsession well) it was Rob & Reese’s photo from their recent cruise to Paradise from EW. My Grandmother said:

UC’s Grandmom: Did you see this?
[UC’s thoughts]: Duh! And omg omg omg.. does she know about LTR? And the things I’ve SAID on LTR?
UC’s Grandmom: It’s that fella you like. I don’t know what you see in him! He’s so ugly!!
[UC’s thoughts]: I knew she was going crazy!
UC’s Grandmom: His face is weird. Now SHE is beaitiful!!
[UC’s thoughts]: Grandma’s a Reecbian!

It cracked me up & got me thinking, is my grandma alone? Is she the only grandma out there who doesn’t find “that fella” smokin’ hot? Do you, Rob, not attract woman over a certain age or lifestyle? Once retirement hits & the bus trips with the ladies at the YMCA are bi-monthly affairs, do you have to close the book on Robsessing?

I did a lot of research (read: googled it once) about “Grandmom’s and Rob Pattinson” and what I found was… well, a couple posts on LTR, actually. Now, of course, the term “Grandmom” is relative… Grandmom’s can be YOUNG. Grandmom’s can be OLD. Grandmom’s can in between those two numbers. I KNOW we have readers who have grandkids. I KNOW we’ve gotten letters from women who are grandmothers (although I can only remember ONCE anyone fessing up to being over 70)

A post from the Answer Bitch on E! online last year popped up in my research. The question was:

I live in Maryland, but I would like to meet Mr. Robert Pattinson, shake his hand, and invite him out to dinner or drinks. I’m a 51-year-old grandmother, not a crazed teenager. I’d simply like to get to know a little about him on a one-on-one basis. What would be the best way to attempt this?

The answer to the question was what you could expect from someone called the Answer Bitch. It was bitchy & snarky &, well, true. That’s a crazytimes question. You have no interest in sitting down with a grandma, a hot cougar OR a crazed teenager for “dinner or drinks.” If you were, you think I’d be sitting on my bed, cat on my lap, New Moon T-shirt on my body (True) in Philadelphia? No way jose… I’d be all up your business in Vancouver, case of Heineken in hand, reservations to every restaurant in Vancouver booked, just so I make sure we get in at your favorite (Because apparently in this fantasy in my mind, Rob Pattinson has to make reservations and can’t just walk into any restaurant in the world)

The comments on this “Grandmother” post are lively… I posted the best, followed by my thoughts after the jump! Continue…

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