Letter Dump

Dear Rob,

The time has come for yet another letter dump.  There’s been some talk in the comments of how you look so sad in all the paparazzi pics lately, and we’re all hoping that it’s nothing more than you missing me (yes, we are all hoping that). But in case it is something more and you’ve been a little down in the dumps lately, these wonderful letters are sure to cheer you up. (Stop that- the real reason for the letters is not because it’s after midnight and I have no content for tomorrow’s post.)

Cheer up,
UnintendedChoice xo

You kiss a boy…and I think I’m gonna like it

Dear Rob,

I'm gonna like this

I’m gonna like this

Before you landed in my marvelous state, we were kinda running on a dry-spell with you- no new news. I even resorted to watching the video of you leaving Il Sol with Katy (yucky) Perry. I know she kissed a girl, and yes we all know she liked it, but it also reminded me that you also have a new movie coming out soon. I have to admit I really want to see the part where you, as Salvador Dali, and Frederico Garcia Lorca are buck naked in the ocean. I hear you guys make out, Is it weird that I am gonna like it? Alot?
Love me, vickyb



I know what your thinking… your going to make my legs shake…

You look so confident, bring it on baby..

Dazzled Daily,


And she’s frugal
I think it’s complete rubbish that you think you aren’t that attractive. I mean, come on! Have you seen how many fan sites there are dedicated to you? Even if you don’t go online that much, your friends have to tease you about it. I mean, that’s what friends do. Couple that with the fact that every woman I know is hot for you. If you truly want to get laid all you have to do is ask any female over the age of 18 and you’ve got it. I personally would pay money to have sex with you, and I’m wicked frugal. I don’t pay for anything I don’t absolutely have to have.
Sincerely wishing you would drop that line,

Rob, you’re dirty

Dear Robster,

I love you like a fat girl loves cake, and I love me some cake.  Dirty hair, facial hair and chest hair are all good in my book, but those dirty blue jeans- I just have to say no.  I know you’re on the go, and obviously a washing machine is hard to come by, but you could store a washboard and soap in that black bag of yours that you tote.  I understand that a bath tub might be an odd thing for you, but it does have it’s use, I’d be happy to show you, how to wash of course…a bathtub, a washboard, and some soap will do your body…errr…clothes some good.  Now that you are back in the States, I anxiously await, to see photos of you..after using a bathtub, washboard, and soap.


Read more tales to delight you after the jump…

I’ll be whatever you need me to be

Look my way, Rob. Look.at.me.Love.me

Look my way, Rob. Look.at.me.Love.me

Dear Rob,

I was googling you for the nth time surfing the net the other day when I chanced upon this picture.

I’m one of those lucky people who were able to land a job they love…but boy, I’d totally trade jobs with her in a heart beat.

Sooo…just in case she, oh, I don’t know, mysteriously unexpectedly contracts some inexplicable illness and you need someone to replace her, give me a ring.

I’ll be your umbrella girl, assistant, masseuse, soundboard and whatever else you want all rolled into one cute package.  I’ll make sure nothing and no one ever touches that gorgeous hair of yours except me.  Plus I’ll bring you coffee all the time (do you like coffee?), or maybe some alcoholic drink since you seem to really love to get your drink on. Unless of course the producers say you can’t drink during the shoot.  In which case we’ll do it afterwards in some nearby bar where I can ply you with beer until you’re so tanked and I have to bring you home and ravish you.  Cigs? Why not! Food? Surely! All you have to do is ask and I will giveth.  Because sweetie, that’s how I roll.

So yeah, just give a holler.  I’ll be waiting by the phone for your call.

Love lots, Samantha

Are you hiring?

Dear Rob,

As of recently, I am between jobs.  I am pursuing a new, more pleasing line of work: Kept Woman. You are at the very top of my list for Sugar Daddy candidates, though I realize that since I am quite a bit older than you, Daddy might not be an appropriate term. I am eager to please, however, so I’ll call you anything you like.

I assure you I am quite creative and accomplished in, shall we say, the appropriate skill set. I am a self-starter who is comfortable taking the initiative, but I am also a team player, if you take my meaning. In addition, I am independent, needing my fair share of alone time. While I do enjoy affection and romance, I am not needy, nor am I clingy. I do not require anything fancy. I prefer Converse to couture, take-out to tofu. And marriage is not on the table. This is strictly a temporary position. In short, if the following qualities appeal to you, give me a call. We’ll start by going out for a few drinks, get a quick bite, and see where it leads.

xo, Christa

You can break my headboard

Dear Rob,

I have never wanted to be someone’s thumb more than anything in my whole life before now.


lucky, lucky thumb

And every time I look at this picture


everything around you just melts away. All I see is you, with your hands on a mattress, looking up at me, sitting up against my headboard. Sigh… *Poof, Poof, Poof!*

Maybe I’ve just been single for too long, lol.
Me (Sidhe Vicious)


My Birthday wish
Dear Rob,
In less than 1 hour is my birthday.  I will be turning 24 years old and am freaking out about the whole age thing. I know I am technically an older woman and as your elder you are supposed to respect me and all the wisdom I hold that has come with my age… And I think it’s pretty safe to say that for you to respect my wisdom you must trust me when I say you should jump out of my birthday cake… naked.  There I said it.  In 24 years of life I do believe this is the wisest thing to be typed by these fingers.
So, the party starts around 9pm. You should be here around lets say 5-ish and than undress (side note- I am not opposed to helping, even though it is my big day).  I figure we can figure out something to do before my friends arrive; play scrabble, go spelunking or you could let me play with your magic harry potter wand… no pressure, just two friends enjoying a nice role playing game of naked sorcery.
Yours Truely,
Feeling better yet? Yeah, I thought this would help. Hey, since you’re up for it now,
can you give Red her *fake* prize for winning my “guess the quote” contest
the other day? It involves you, so it’ll be easy- please head over to her house and present her with the Oscar for the reader of thet day. Allow her to “thank” her friends and family, then give her a polite kiss (I said polite) Then proceed directly back here so I can cheer you up. ifyouknowwhati’msaying.’
If  even I can’t cheer you up (ha- as if!) you can read letters from the past here

51 Responses to “Letter Dump”

  1. vickyb says:

    @UC and Moon, Love it. I had forgotten about that letter although I have not forgotten about Robs upcoming kissing scene. Yay!

  2. JBell says:

    You know – I just can’t start my day until I get the latest Letter(s) To Rob… so let the day begin! Those letters are so great! Looks like everyone has taken note from Moon & UC 😀

    @UC – “…we’re all hoping that it’s nothing more than you missing me (yes, we are all hoping that).” Yeah, okay. That was my first thought when I saw the recent pictures – “Man. He is really missing UnintendedChoice isn’t he?? He’s really let himself go during his time of turmoil.” lmao Hugs

    @vickyb – I’m with you there on the whole Little Ashes thing! I can’t wait.

    @SuzieQ – There are no words for that picture. Mmmmm. *jizz* lol

    @Anna – lmfao “wicked frugal” I’m feelin’ ya on that one! Some of us ladies are living on a budget here, but I would definitely pay money to have some of that RobLovin.

    @Katz – Thank you for mentioning that humongous black bag! lmao When I first saw that bag in the pictures of him back in London I thought to myself, “What the hell is he carrying around in that huge bag!? Especially since he was only going to the pub and seeing Bobby do a show…”

    @Samantha – You’re so selfless and giving! “All you have to do is ask and I will giveth. Because sweetie, that’s how I roll.” lmao That’s how you roll.

    @Christa – I think you can be expecting a call! The question is though, are you willing to travel? How much of the time (in percentage)? Because you know he’ll be in Vancouver and all over starting next month… 🙂

    @Sidhe Vicious – That damn thumb picture! THANK YOU! That is in my top 3 favorite Rob pictures of all time; oh what I would give to know what he was doing with his tongue. hahahah

    @Silchha – “…you could let me play with your magic harry potter wand…” omg I almost fell out of the chair lmao

  3. Ceri says:

    Apparently Rob was getting his eyes checked yesterday. ‘Yes, Rob, I really am that hot, you don’t need to have your eyes checked, just come jump in my bed’.


    There’s a little hard nipple in the second one and a very manly chest. *Faints*

  4. Malia says:

    My goodness, I’m blushing just reading these! haha

  5. Amber says:

    That thumb pic is my phone screensaver. I melt every time I check my phone….Mmmmm. Plus, it’s an iPhone so I have to rub him before I can do anything.

  6. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    @vickyb-I think we are all gonna like it.

    @Sidhe Vicious-I’m married and I totally feel the same way. Just ask my DH

    @ANNA-“I personally would pay money to have sex with you, and I’m wicked frugal. I don’t pay for anything I don’t absolutely have to have.” that was hilarious! LMAO

    @Katz-“I love you like a fat girl loves cake, and I love me some cake.” word! That was perfectly said.

  7. Kristin says:

    @ceri…I almost fainted at the hard nipple..then I worked my way down to the thigh muscles…and *thud*..right off the chair I went.

    I LOVE the letters, I need to write my own one of these days!

  8. Amber says:

    @Ceri – Wonder if he was there trying to get that whole contact issue worked out in time for the movie?!?

  9. Ceri says:

    @Kristen: It looks like our boy has been working out a little even with the drinking. If he comes back from London looking like that, I think I’d prefer him to live there. As long as he makes a few stints in LA so we can have pics of him, I’d be happy.

  10. JBell says:

    We have yet to see the Nikes! Maybe this is a fresh start for his footwear. Except for the fact that he’s wearing the same outfit he’s wearing in that picture from LTT yesterday with Sourpuss 2… and those black pants appear to be the same ones from Tuesday… lol

  11. Jena says:

    @vickyb, did you say “naked in the ocean”? OH SWEET GEEZUS!

    @Christa, LOL, loved your application!

    @Sidhe Vicious, Amen to everything!

    @Silcha LMAO @ “So, the party starts around 9pm. You should be here around lets say 5-ish and than undress”

    I realize that I should probably know this, but what is spelunking?

  12. Ceri says:

    @JBell: That photo from LTT was back in June ’08. Poor boy needs to get come new clothes. I think we should all help him shop for some.

  13. Jena says:

    On Access Hollywood last night Peter Facinelli said that rehearsal starts in 3 weeks and filming starts in April. And I read in a google alert last night that they’ve asked Rob to gain weight, so could explain why he’s lookin mighty fine and a bit more bulk in those optometrist photos! God bless that wind that blew his shirt open like that. If this is on TMZ tonight I will be eternally greatful, LOL!
    Oh to be the nurse that got to put drops in his eyes! THUD!

  14. Ceri says:

    @Jena: Doesn’t it just make you want to give him a purple nurple? Aaahhhh!

  15. Jena says:

    That umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh photo….I wonder if that t-shirt he has on under his pea coat is the one that inkworks took to make scraps from for the patchwork cards, which I totally wanted in my set and didn’t get damnit! btw, those cards are going for $500 on ebay! INSANE!

  16. Jena says:

    @Ceri, yeah, that and other things! 😉

  17. Ceri says:

    @Jena, of course! Such dirty thoughts that run through our heads. Is it wrong to be lusting for Rob this early in the morning while the DH is still sleeping?

  18. JBell says:

    @Ceri – I knew that pic was pretty old lol. June though!? I mean really Rob… really. How come nobody is giving him free clothes?? I’m sure just about everyone would like to have Rob wearing there labels/brands. OR!! He should have gone to fashion week in NYC with Kellan! I would have loved to see him next to Kellan instead of Sourpuss 3 (Kellan’s gf).

    I’m ashamed to say, but on coughPerezHilton.comcough someone spotted Rob last night at another pre-oscar party/bar thing… putting on weight by drinking? Good way to go. But why are they asking him to GAIN weight!? He looks great!!! Literally and figuratively… and physically.

  19. Kristin says:

    @ceri -yes I completely agree. That and he needs to just ask me to move in with him…he would get all the workout he needs.

    @Amber – that was my first guess..that he was there getting set up for his contacts for the movie!

    @Jena – I don’t think my heat could handle Rob getting any hotter by working out. I am already looking into portable difibulators for when I see picture montages on this site! lol!

  20. Ceri says:

    @JBell – Rob’s said before that he’s particular about his clothes. I guess he really likes the worn in ones. Maybe the gaining weight thing is more muscle than overall weight. We saw the pic of Rob with more weight in those craptastic photos LTR posted and he does not look good with a chubby face. Then again, for Twilight he worked out a lot and didn’t eat and got really gaunt which freaked out the director. So maybe they are hoping that he won’t do that again.

  21. samantha says:

    dear rob,
    i’m afraid my obsession, er, i meant fascination with you is beginning to border on the alarming. i mean just a picture of you with some wicked nipple action going on is enough to make me swoon. really, you should do something about this soon. give me a call. we’ll work something out.

    love lots,

    @jbell yeah, i am THAT giving. its rob asking after all. 🙂

    @ceri thank you for that pic. really.

  22. Kristin says:

    that was suppose to be “heart could handle Rob…” not ‘heat’. See what he does to me. I can’t even spell check myself! LOL!

  23. JBell says:

    It’s only 11:30 (here on the east coast) and we’ve already started taking over the comments. lmao I have nothing to do at work today because I’m filling in for the receptionist… love life today. I’m in a great mood.

    Edward has been yelling at me though…
    “Don’t you have any work to do?!”

  24. Jena says:

    Good question on the weight thing, maybe they want him bulkier, more muscular than he was in Twilight? I don’t know, but to me he looks perfect, but I know I’m slightly biased, LOL!

    I do not care for Kellen’s girlfriend at all. I think it’s because I keep associating her with her Nip/Tuck character Eden and automatically think that’s the way she is, LOL! Which is terrible of me, but I don’t know….she bugs me. OK, that’s my MEOW for day. Geez, Jena, why don’t you tell them how you really feel?! LOL!

  25. Ceri says:

    @samantha – really makes the weekend bearable doesn’t it? At least until Sunday’s Oscars. I think the nipple photo just might be my new wallpaper.

  26. Jena says:

    @Kristen, “I am already looking into portable difibulators for when I see picture montages on this site! lol!” LMAO! LOL!

    OK, unforunately I have a crap load of things to do at work today so I can’t stay and play like I want to. Sniff. I’ll check in and out. You gals have a roberific day!

    On another note, I think the paparazzi are scum yes, but at the same time they help me drool at my computer on a daily basis. So I don’t know whether to hug them or slap the crap out of them. LOL!

  27. Melissa says:

    these were all so freakin funny!!

  28. JBell says:

    @Jena – o0o! If he started building muscle in his arms and pecks and then wearing those tight v-neck tshirts everywhere… I would move to LA and have a vacation house in London and rent a room at the nicest hotel in Vancouver through the end of June.

    And I just re-read that and I got a mental image of Vin Diesel… I really don’t like him, at all. So –
    Okay, I’m done. O:)

  29. Ayden says:

    That wind blowing the shirt was just bloody brilliant help from on high, I’m thinking.

    Yummy. Just yummy.

  30. Jena says:

    @JBell “I would move to LA and have a vacation house in London and rent a room at the nicest hotel in Vancouver through the end of June.”

    I’m splitting the cost and going in on this with you if that’s okay?! LOL!

  31. Jena says:

    OK, I really am getting back to work now, LOL! I just can’t stay away!

  32. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    ok I was going to say something a bit pervy, but I think my mind has went to far. So I’m keeping quiet.

  33. JBell says:

    @Jena – I am an only child, but I’ve learned to share quite nicely! No problem! Plus, I’m “wicked frugal” (in the words of ThxAnna) so splitting costs would be great lmao

  34. JBell says:

    Go for it FMrsP – nobody will judge you… unless of course you think you may cause mass hysteria and hyperventilation…

  35. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    alright. don’t judge me!!!!
    This only comes because I have been looking at Rob pics literally all day. I can’t believe I’m going to say this.
    I think that stain on his pants is from me sitting on his lap.

  36. JBell says:

    @FMrsP – Oh dear. LMAO No judgement rendered! It wasn’t that dirty… except for where my mind just went on how it could have possbibly gotten there with his pants still on… I’ll leave you with your thoughts now.

  37. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    @jbell hey i gotta start some where

  38. JBell says:

    @FMrsP – hahaha I hear ya loud and clear 🙂

  39. […] get all excited over missing moon that you forget to read the kick ass letters you all submitted on the next post. XO Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)The MoonMy Full Moon is here again …Things […]

  40. Rhonika says:

    Just got my copy of EW!!! Rob is gorgeous 🙂

  41. Amber says:

    Damn! Stupid job makes me do work today and look at the great convo I’ve been missing.

    Seriously….am I the only one that just LOVES the way he dresses?!? I love that dirty, I don’t care look he’s got going.

  42. Lauren says:

    OMG. Loooved these.

    Ok, so I am in love with Rob in that picture with his little umbrella-girl.

  43. Red says:

    I would like to thank RhoJo for introducing me to LTR, UC & Moon for running LTR, and Rob for being Rob.

    @UC I’ll send him back when I’m done with him and not a minute before (unless my husband comes home early). 🙂

  44. English Girl says:

    Crikey! 2 topics for the day and so many posts again.

    I was out all day today, the computer screen at my mother’s house was calling to me (I even had to go online to book some flights for her) but I managed not to start surfing for Rob porn for fear that she might find out about my *ahem* “little” Robsession problem.

    So this evening, upon returning home and in a state of some frenzy and lip licking anticipation I click onto LTR and, as ever, I am not disappointed. You ladies are so funny – I can’t even think straight enough to comment on the things that made me laugh out loud … And the links to the shagtastic photos of Rob, my god I should be ashamed of myself.

    Methinks my DH is going to “get it” tonight. Bigtime. And Rob it is all your fault ….

    Well, ok, DH is pretty hot too luckily.

  45. robzilla says:

    Rob, if they want you to have a 6 pack for the upcoming movies, I know just the way you can get it…

    Do me – missionary position – my legs thrown over your shoulders…awesome ab workout for you and f*cktabulous time for me.

    Just sayin’ ;-p

  46. robzilla says:

    oh snap! I just went there.

    oops. I really should keep those things to myself huh?

  47. SuzieQ says:

    HOLY HELL! He’s obviously freezing with rock hard nipples, and the pouting bottom lip..
    SuzieQ-blankie to the rescue!!


  48. Valerie says:

    how did I miss this post. you all are cracking me up!

  49. Natasha says:

    and now I can go to bed with a smile on my face……..

  50. HeatherS says:

    these were great!! I got cardboard rob right here.. ive bee blogging my butt off on him as well and now I shall go read some smutty fanfiction and think of my robbie. MmmMMM

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