Juliette Binoche teaches us about Rob and Cosmopolis

Dear Rob,

You know when you don’t go out and do things, I’m forced to read the gossip rags, scouring for dirt and then make stuff up about you, right? Yea, so come out and play. And I don’t mean walk to and fro on set. Come out and play so UC and I can make up other things that are not true about you… but fun none the less.

Today’s tidbit comes from Juliette Binoche, your costar in Cosmopolis but I know her as Vianne from Chocolat aka the lady who got to do Johnny Depp right before he became a big deal again. Here’s what she said

For David Cronenberg’s new movie ?
J.B: Yes, it is called “Cosmopolis”. I play an art dealer who has an affair with Robert Pattinson. He, plays a billionaire who loses everything.

Robert Pattinson evolves in a sphere that seems far away from yours…
J.B: I don’t have a point of view about his career, I didn’t see the “Twilight” movies. We had dinner together on set. He is an incredible cinema buff who for several years saw two to three movies a day. He is a fan of “Les amants du Pont Neuf” (The Pont Neuf lovers). He was funny, you would have thought he was a little child.

Ok, you might call Rob a child after having made out w/ this guy

First off Juliette Binoche called you a child, that’s gotta sting a little bit right? It also worries me that maybe that nervous giggly thing is for real and that it would get real awkward when we’re (someday) making out and you giggle like that cause I’d think you were 10 and that’s gross.

You have an “affair” with Juliette Binoche… DUDE is that kind of like having an affair with your mom’s Bunko friend? I’d also like to point out that by reading that your character is a billionaire who loses everything, I’ve learned more about the movie than I ever knew before. In what I read your character spends the movie in a limo making deals and trying to get to a hair cut appointment while stuck in traffic. And while that just sounds weird, I was all in Rob so no one can say I’m not committed. After reading this maybe Cosmopolis is about a billionaire who loses everything in a limo on his way to get his hairs did? Only time will tell.

Another thing… JB (as I call her now cause I can’t be bothered to spell out her whole name) said you went through a phase in your life where you watched 2-3 movies a day… she may call this being a “cinema buff” but I call this “unemployed.” I had a friend who did the exact same thing, only this was before Netflix was invented and he vowed to watch a 100 movies in a month because Blockbuster was offering an “all you can rent for 20 bucks” option. Needless to say he may have dropped out of school but he now considers Harold and Maude one of his favorite movies of all time and he has a notebook of hundreds of movie reviews he wrote. So this pretty much means you are my friend named Chad from about 5 years ago. You and Chad are probably also why Blockbuster went out of business. GOOD JOB!

What else will we learn or make up about you and Cosmopolis? Only time will tell my friend. And only you have the power to change that… so go out and do something instead of hanging out on balconies talking about moles with Sam Bradley. THANKS!

Now I want some chocolate, you. Johnny Depp, a limo and a movie from Blockbuster.

Au Revoir!

Why did JB call Rob a child? Weird or translation issue? Has anyone else watched 2-3 movies a day? Were you fun-employed?

Source: Robsessed and LaProvenceFR

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46 Responses to “Juliette Binoche teaches us about Rob and Cosmopolis”

  1. robgirl86 says:

    What? Juliette Binoche isn’t a Twilight fan? am shocked:)

    What did I learn today?
    Rob can FLY !

    Dear Rob,
    whatever you did last night on set, keep on doing it.
    It works as in sweetness and <3
    P.S. Can't wait to watch this movie..

  2. Jessica says:

    If Rob is a child…then I must be an embryo… O_O

  3. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Adults are overrated anyhow. I mean, adults are who bring economies down, who start wars, who cause most of the pain & misery in this world. Children, they can be pain in the arses (and how), but when they laugh and when they try to make you laugh, they provide meaning and joy. So there. Rob provides meaning and joy. I think that’s what she meant to say but obviously couldn’t because she didn’t want to sound like a Cougar/slave to her own Robsession.

    She’s playing it cool, guys. Inside, she’s probably fantasizing about his wonky legs and beanie like the rest of us. Just because she’s all tall cool glass of insanely talented French woman doesn’t mean she’s immune to it.

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      My thoughts exactly. She’s fantasizing bigtime about Rob, but she’s done the math and there is a whole 22 years difference in their ages, so she has to play it cool, just in case he thinks she’s an old lady and ‘s grossed out. But she’s no ordinary old lady, Rob! She’s a hot French cougar lady with awesomesauce acting skills, one of “the 50 Most Beautiful People in the World”, and the highest paid French actress in history (as of 2002).

      What’s not to like, Rob? Put her out of her misery and treat her to an offscreen kiss that is captured by the paps at a lowdown Toronto bar. We’ll put our imaginations into overdrive and picture ourselves in her LV shoes.

    • “She’s playing it cool, guys. Inside, she’s probably fantasizing about his wonky legs and beanie like the rest of us. Just because she’s all tall cool glass of insanely talented French woman doesn’t mean she’s immune to it.”

      wait which one of you commenters is juliette binoche??!!!!!!

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        I speak French and I’m old (relatively) and so it must be me 🙂

      • Katycougar says:

        I think the woman will break once she is up against the wall. The years will fall away and all coherant thought will disapear.

    • che says:

      wow i liked this kinda discribtion..it jut says all

  4. Vanessamdn says:

    Been there…

    I’m unemployed right now, and obssessing over Rob all day long…

    • start watching 2-3 movies a day… you’ll be closer to him

      • Vanessamdn says:

        Add to that a couple of heinekens and a bag of m&ms and we could be soulmates!

        • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

          make that pretzel m&m’s.

          • You know, I was all about the pretzel ones when Rob mentioned them. But since I’m addicted to peanut butter pretzels I kind of felt like they were missing something… PEANUTBUTTER!! Now I eat pretzel and peanut butter ones at the same time! They are AMAZING!!

            (I so want to hear Rob mention this new addition in his next interview!)

          • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

            I like the way you think! Chocolate, peanut butter, AND pretzels? YUM!!!

  5. The Snuggler says:

    I think the true meaning lies somewhere between ‘he’s quite childlike in some ways’ and ‘he’s like a big kid’! Hey,we knew that already! (And love it!)

  6. If I Go says:

    Yulia Belka)

    For the new film by David Cronenberg?
    JB: Yes, it is called “Cosmopolis.” I play an art dealer who has an “affair” (relationship) with Robert Pattinson. He is a millionaire who loses everything.

    Robert Pattinson is moving in a sphere that seems far removed from yours …
    JB: I had no idea who he was, I have never followed his career or seen Twilight. We had a chance to have a dinner together couple of times, that’s how we met. Turned out he’s a big fan of movies. All these years he watched 2-3 movies a day and one of his favourite movies is “The Lovers on the Bridge” with myself in it. He’s really funny, just like a kid. He charmed me.

  7. operarose says:

    Well, in her defense, compared to Johnny Depp he is pretty much a child. He’s got a long ways to go. Career-wise, and on-screen smoldering-wise. (Foreseeing many thumbsdowns in my future). But then again – I’m biased. I love Chocolat.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Chocolat is a great film. And Johnny Depp is one of those old souls, both worldly and otherworldly. His sex appeal is much different than Rob’s for sure. His sexiness is more direct and full-frontal. Not that I have a problem with that. Oh no.

      Rob manages to make awkward/dorky sexy. That’s much harder than making chocolate & France sexy.

      p.s. Joanne Harris’s cookbook is really good. Vianne’s recipe for spicy hot chocolate is in there. Keeps you humming on those long Rob-less nights (which is every night).

    • Katycougar says:

      I love them both. Maybe in the movie she did with him he was serious, but Johnny Depp is a big kid on set. Maybe it is just her, but I admire her as an actress.

      Watch Johnny Giggle and have fun…………..Rob you are in good company.



      • Katycougar says:

        I came across this video of Johnny on Arsenio in 1991.He was about 28 at the time. It struck me because he was promoting Edward Scissorhands. Look at the hair. He mentions his music. His playing the character Edward. That was an iconic role for him and quite out there. I am sure I saw this at the time. I kind of feel I have been Godsmacked. Maybe a little comparison can be made.
        Does anyone else see this but me. This movie has became a cult favorite and so it is at my house.


  8. lola says:

    I say if you’re a mother, you tend to see him very boyishly. I mean Reese isn’t much older than him but seemed to reign him in like a mom half the time in interviews.lol

    He’s got a boyish charm, sometimes he’s just being boyish too. And I tend to think all the “hot sex symbol” labels he gets only makes him act a little more silly to be honest.

  9. guitargirl says:

    To JB about him beng childlike. Yeah, and?

    As for the Depster. I agree he is delicious, and I love Chocolat but I have never ever fantisised about banging him, ummm, unlike Rob. Whoops, did I say that…..outloud. LOL!

  10. Wendy says:

    Awesome letter today… Much needed laugh! Thanks!

    • awwww you’re welcome! sometimes i wonder if anyone is loving rob any more. i do! 🙂

      • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

        i’ve been lovin’ rob since 2008 when i first saw him. i totally thought i’d be over my *crush* by now, but sadly no. no, i’m not. i’m still lovin’ him. and, thanks to the internet and modern technology, i just don’t stand a chance.

  11. “aka the lady who got to do Johnny Depp right before he became a big deal again. ”

    Uh, what I read was this: aka the lady who got to go deep in Johnny Depp.

    Happy Wednesday! lol

    • PS- my I <3 British Boys shirt arrived in the post! It's fab ladies!!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Pretty sure there are only 2 depths to Johnny’s pool: deep and deeper. Either way, you are going to get …ack, I can’t continue. Too pervy.

      Anyhow, I guess you can say Johnny Depp is the pool. R Rob’s the guy with the head of a bear, the body of a horse, and wings of an eagle…who is sitting to the side of the pool with all his clothes on. Either way you are going to get…nevermind.

      • I am so confused!!! lol. Finding it hard to imagine that mixed animal image with clothes. That might be the only time we get to see all of Rob naked…with no modesty patch!

  12. Rob, your only a child! Here’s the song I now think of when I think of you (maybe I’ve thought of this before once or twice!). Sorry it’s in multiple languages and it’s not the original ABBA version. But I needed the cougar movie edition!


  13. I loved this. I miss Chad (assuming we’re talking about the same Chad)

  14. ER says:

    I’m still laughing. I think this is one of the best posts ever.

    “…but I call this “unemployed.” & “You and Chad are probably also why Blockbuster went out of business. GOOD JOB!” – hilarious stuff

  15. Pattygirl says:

    Moon, moon,,moon………., Rob has been working nonstop ever since twilight. he has thousand of DVDs that he brings with him everywhere he goes plus a TV.

  16. L says:

    uhm, i definitely clocked 2-3 movies a day (or about 500 episodes of 30 Rock, Psych, and Parks and Rec) whilst writing my thesis. i also rarely showered or left the house, and consumed approximately 1 million pounds of whole foods salsa and green mountain tortilla chips and 3 billion litres of diet coke ( basically, my version of hot pockets and heinekens).
    perhaps i am your friend chad…? or perhaps i am rob…*duh duh duhhhh!!!*
    this is where liz lemon comes in and goes “twist!”. the camera cuts to rob and chad making out on top of a bear skin rug, covered in hot pocket wrappers. L throws up a little in her mouth, aaaannnddd….

  17. alex says:

    I did the exact same thing with the Blockbuster $20 a month deal when I was unemployed. Heh. Watched almost every movie in the damn store, too.

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