Rob is in between

RoblosophyDear Rob,

Before we go any further, I have to point out that I liked Water for Elephants. It’s not going on any “Best Of” lists. No one is going to win any Oscars for it, but I thought it was a great movie. I loved the book, and I thought the movie was a great representation. There were great moments for you, Rob. There were great moments for Reese. That doesn’t mean I thought it was perfect, but I enjoyed the movie. I probably won’t see it again, but that’s because I’m pretty broke. Plus I’d rather spend my free time watching ROBSTEN videos online (<– Click that unless you follow us on Twitter and experienced the joy of “UC Tweets Robsten videos while drinking vodka” last night)

That being said, I want to talk about how you, Rob, are not a boy, not yet a man. Yes, just like Britney Spears sang. Well, kinda.

You see, one of my favorite things about you as Jacob Jankowski was that the role really FIT you. In fact, afterward, Mr. Choice told me that he thought you did a great job because you were exactly like Jacob. An attractive guy, yes, but a little socially awkward & kinda dorky. (His proof was the photo below. He said he was pretty sure this was shot one day when you all were just goofing around ‘off-camera’ and someone caught it & decided to include it in the film)

I love my days off!

Jacob is those things- a bit awkward because he’s in an new social situation with all new people after his family has been ripped from him. Dorky because, well, he’s a 22 year old, almost Ivy-league graduated virgin. Three types of guys go to Ivy-league: Foreign royalty, Hot, Rich Douche-bags in secret societies who row crew & dorky smart guys who’ve never touched bare breasts. (Me Stereotype? Nooo) And you play that role well! Because, well, you’re kinda a social recluse with your books & artsy films. And we KNOW you and that supposed girlfriend of yours are saving “it” for marriage…… soooooooo…..

WANTED: Passion

But here’s where it all falls apart for me, Rob. And here’s where Britney Spears comes in…. I’m not feeling the chemistry between you & Reese. You portray very appropriately this young, “I’m finding my way- living free, making mistakes, looking silly but growing up” stuff & then when it comes to the real, deep sexual, raw chemistry, it falls short. You do the dorky, young guy stuff perfectly, but can’t quite perform as the man (See? Britney Spears) The Rob Pattinson “awkwardness” you’ve perfected in your roles plays great for a teenager (Edward) & college student (Tyler, Jacob). But when faced with a smoking’ hot all woman co-star like Reese, the role commands a MAN to take control of those scenes & force the passion. SHOW US your love for Marlene. SHOW US you want her. We know you do. We read the book. We can tell a bit by your actions. But I want to SEE IT so badly that I run out of my seat and try to climb in the movie screen to take you for myself (Oh you’re right- I’d do that either way!)

I think it could be that your good looks are to your detriment, too. If you were slightly less hot you could be the funny, awkward Seth Rogan (or even Adam Brody!). But instead you’re on a wholleeee other level. So we expect Brad Pitt. And you don’t have the confidence yet to sex it up Pitt-style. Well, I don’t think you do. But in case you want to prove me wrong I’m here. Willing. Able. Always.

So Rob… take off your shirt, hop on top of a cliff & sing about how you’re not a boy, not yet a man…

All I need is time…. a moment that is mine… while I’m in between,

After the jump (can you guess!?)…..


So am I Crazy? Am I alone? Is Rob stuck in the “in between?” Have we yet to see him win us over with a MAN role?

THANK YOU Jena for sending me the cross-dressing Rob screen shot approximately 2.7 seconds after I requested it!

Confessing I stole one of those lines COMPLETELY from a chat convo between me & @brookelockart & I don’ even care. At least I admitted it!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

76 Responses to “Rob is in between”

  1. I love his boy-ish self, not so much his acting. I’ll probably see WFE tomorow at the premiere, but I’m afraid for this film, I’m very afraid. Yet I love cheese, but in my salad.

    • Obava says:

      But do you love cheese wheels, MP?

    • drsaka says:

      There’s MP again; come on, you’re French, you love well-made cheese!!!
      Relax your überness for a moment and just enjoy!

      (I’m not not making a comment on the movie- def not cheese, IMO).

      • robsfuturemate says:

        I didn’t see any cheese either. Champagne yes, cheese not so much. Well maybe the little musical pick up lines. But that only made me hear “there’s nothing wrong with a bit of bump n grind” in my head. So it’s all good.

      • Cheese and wine, bump’n’grind. What’s not to like!
        OK OK I’ll try to listen to you but I’m scared that Celine will come from Titanic and break my ears. Will report back (if I’m not arrested or smth)

    • drsaka says:

      And MP, isn’t Rob supposed to speak on stage at the Paris premiere? If so, that should distract you from any fromage.
      (I suddenly need to see the Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch again).

  2. dazzledtodeath says:

    I wish there’d been a little more time devoted to Jacob & Marlena’s relationship, and seeing it grow. But it really didn’t bother me, maybe b/c having read the book I knew it was there.

    I’m sure there would be a long line of women (me included!) willing to help Rob gain some sexual confidence. Any time you’re ready,Rob.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      I agree. I think if we saw more of the Jacob/Marlena relationship there could have been that passion. We saw the getting to know you/you’re still married to your husband stage. I missed seeing them “getting it on like rabbits” to quote the book.

    • pukesten says:

      i thought he showed great sexual confidence in RM i really and i mean realllly liked when he threw the girl in it against the wall ….. *gone to find by RM dvd….*

      and i cannot believe i watched that robsten video …. from start to finish…. not enough brain bleach in the world!!!

      • dazzledtodeath says:

        yes he did:) RM sex scenes were hot. They really watered down the heat betw. Jacob & Marlena, maybe so as not to offend certain segments of the audience? Idk.

        And you are brave soul to subject yourself to a R*sten video. No thanks, I’d rather drink bleach.

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        oh jeez, i just made myself watch the robsten vid. i couldn’t finish it for obvious reasons, but i noticed that the same person created a video entitled “tattward and inkwella.” yes, i clicked on it. yes, regrets. but it was worth it for 1:01 when rob maniped as 1980’s headbanger rocker appeared.

    • dazzledtodeath says:


  3. natteringyeahrobber says:

    That photo. What am I to do with the cross-dressing-maniacal-clown photo. Why is he smiling so big? He looks like a cross between the Joker, Cleopatra and Elizabeth Berkley (circa Showgirls). Clearly he needed no acting direction there, he’s just going with it. He actually looks completely natural there. He has more chemistry with that ridiculous costume than Reese? Please tell me this is an extended scene in the movie (still have not seen it – BAD FAN!). I hope Rob’s alter ego looks a lot like THAT photo. I imagine it does. As long as he doesn’t use a weird voice while wearing that get-up, I’m game. Forget the chemistry, I’ll take the crazy. He wears it well, with such confidence.

  4. hippietrixi says:

    I don’t think my comments are working?

  5. Brenn says:

    I have a confession to make. My undying interest in Rob is waning. I still love the dear boy… but with all the press junkets and interviews for WFE have made me realize just that…he’s really a boy to me. My son is only 2 years younger than Rob (yeah, I know — weird).

    I fell in love the Rob in the Bruce Weber first VF photo shoot. Man, all those shots just send me to my happy place. But I’ve realized these are just a small part of Rob, He’s just too young for me. Even in my fantasy life.

    I loved WFE. I will always check him out on the red carpet. But the daily web surfing is probably over.

    It’s okay Rob, I still love ya — I’ll be fine. So will you.

    • Lilian says:

      I need to say this I really don’t mean to be mean but I need all of you to read this. I don’t have an account because I don’t like commenting so give me a chance. I think you don’t realize that one day you are giving him all this love and adoration and another deciding “I don’t like him as much” that is not fair at all. You were a factor , I am a factor and we were/are factors to his fame, every time we goggled his name. This is a turning point in his life at least pretend, just give him that , give him the chance to get credit not for just being good looking. You give him all that(One of the most Influential people, Most beautiful) all those titles to just take it away living him the “Guy from Twilight” we all contributed. I will not sleep at night knowing that one day I just decided he “isn’t interesting anymore”. Please go and support him (Water For Elephants, can’t wait to see it MAY 6, Australia watch it as many times as I can) he deserves it for all we have put him through.

      • Pattygirl says:

        couldn’t have said it better myself. If I was in the US I wd have seen WFE 1st time it hits the theater. But unfortunately its doesn;t come in Indonesia. But Me and friend have plan to see it in a neighboring country Singapore. I support Rob unconditionally, have always support his non twilight movie (hate the twilight sequels except the 1st). Promote his movie via social media, facebook and twitter. Never analysis his interviews, any real rob fan knows what Rob is really like, he is funny, outgoing, and forward and witty. so why think other wise. He is like in the spotlight by those negative people everytime his new movie comes out. Who can he count on if not his fans.

      • Brenn says:

        Did I say he ‘isn’t interesting anymore’ or that I ‘don’t like him as much’? Um… no I did not. I believe I said I loved him twice in that short note.

        I will always be a fan. I will always support his career. I saw WFE on opening day. I am seeing it again tonight. Don’t say I’m not there for him. I’m very anxious for Cosompolis, especially after reading the book.

        But I’ve decided to get my head back in RL and back off my obsession. I don’t need to Google his every move anymore. He’s a dear boy and I only wish him the best in both his personal and professional life.

        I know Rob understands, even if you don’t.

        • pukesten says:

          i hear ya brenn, it’s impossible for every fan to keep up the intensity of robsession that we had at the start. we’d all be divorced/dumped, fired, gain 20lbs from all the sitting down on the interwebs 24.7/ i’ve really tried to cut down on my rob time but i’ll always support him ( and that doesn’t mean it has to be unconditional and include his insignificant other,) watch his films, buy his dvds and magazine covers. i think i’ll always spend a few hours here and there catching up on robsesed and lrt but it’s nice not to have my free time dictated by rob!! for example a year ago i would have had watched the kimmel and ellen shows 300985098 by now but i haven’t even watched them once, when i get a spare hour or two at the weekend i’ll sit down and let rob make me laugh!

          and i don’t think we can ever thank bruce weber enough!

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            amen to everything you just said. esp. the bruce weber part.

          • Brenn says:

            Thanks for the support!

            RL is sucking me back in. I’m saying this out loud: I need to decide whether my marriage is worth saving.

            This needs my attention now more than anything else.


          • robsfuturemate says:

            Brenn- I’ve been there. Yes, that deserves way more attention right now then Rob. But remember that Rob’s always there to help in those moments when you just need a little smile, laugh or just somePretty. Rob and Twi really helped me when I needed an escape from RL. But unfortunately RL needs to be seen to and lived in. Hope everything turns out all right for you. Even if it’s not the way you hope you will get through it. I’m still on the recovery road but it gets better! <3

      • Alex says:

        What some people here are trying to say is that “there was no enough Rob porn sex scenes for them to see WFE again and again” – Can you believe these womens? LOL!!!!!!!

        and dont worry oneday they say that they are over Rob and then come back tomorrow drooling all over him. This happens all the time. I am sure these ladies here support Robs films.

        Hi UC,

        Jacob was a VIRGIN who didnt have any experience. So if you were not satisfied enough then Rob must have played Virgin Jacob part pretty well.

        As you have read the book you should be able to remember their first sex scene…Jacob didnt know what to do. Marlen had to guide him around her body. Pls read it again.

        May be Belami and Cosmopolis will make to so satisfied.LOL

        But I Thank all of you for seeing WFE at least once.

      • Alex says:

        What some people here are trying to say is that “there was no enough Rob porn sex scenes for them to see WFE again and again” – Can you believe these womens? LOL!!!!!!!

        and dont worry oneday they say that they are over Rob and then come back tomorrow drooling all over him. This happens all the time. I am sure these ladies here support Robs films.

        Hi UC,

        Jacob was a VIRGIN who didnt have any experience. So if you were not satisfied enough then Rob must have played Virgin Jacob part pretty well.

        As you have read the book you should be able to remember their first sex scene…Jacob didnt know what to do. Marlena had to guide him around her body. Pls read it again.

        May be Belami and Cosmopolis will make it uo to you.LOL

        But I Thank all of you for seeing WFE at least once.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Oh Brenn, totally understand. So many times I realize just how young he is and just how different our worlds are. But then Moon & UC go and post the clown photo and I realize that his soul is as old as mine is young. Or something like that. Basically I just want to lick his soul.

      But..but don’t leave us. Love your postings!

      • Brenn says:

        You’re the bestest Nat. I won’t leave… I may post infrequently, but I’ll still be around.

        Don’t you leave either — there’s been many a day where your posts are the highlight. 😉

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          awh, thanks, you are so sweet. 🙂 i am not going anywhere. well, twitter. i did recently finally join the ranks of twitter (i’m pineylonesome there – and trust me, with only four followers, it is lonesome, lol).

  6. roslynselene says:

    Still haven’t seen it so I can’t comment. And thanks for this LTR (it distracted me from the pain in my ear). 🙁 I’m siiiiick. 🙁 Isn’t Rob at some premiere today? I think I read that somewhere a few days ago. Or maybe it’s the pain meds messing with me.

    • drsaka says:

      Feel better and do NOT fly with an ear infection. Not a good experience.

      • roslynselene says:

        Thanks! Seems the only thing I CAN do is stare at Rob. I can’t sleep, laugh, yawn, talk, move without this stupid ear hurting like a bitch. The damn pain meds are NOT working. Booooo! 🙁

        • robsfuturemate says:

          Awww, just relax and watch some Rob movies, clips vids, whatever. Just try to find your happy place. Get Better soon!

          • roslynselene says:

            Actually, I’m feeling much better. I took another pill and put RM on my laptop. I hadn’t seen it since last year and today was the 1st time I watched it alone so there were parts that were new to me since I wasn’t distracted this time and had my full attention to every word said. Like, “I’d rather be sodomized with a toothbrush” and “Mon petite soeurette, une freak de nature?” (I though he was saying gibberish in a French accent) and “I can do teens”. 😀 Chris Hansen anyone…? But I ended it after the angry wall sexytimes. It gets sad after that and I wasn’t up for feeling sad today. And now I ask you: Where the hell is 2009 Rob?! That was Rob’s year of super hotness! <3.<3

          • pukesten says:

            Ya 2009 rob was the ultimate.

            I miss tge good ol days we had button fly jeans, ray bans NY cap, plaid, rob without the sten *sigh*

          • roslynselene says:

            Someone doesn’t like 2009 Rob… O.o

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          RS – finally saw RM, years after it was released. I have seen clips here and there but never the full deal. OMG the WALL scene. Hair grabbing being thrown up against the plaster. YES. Dessert first with Rob, DUH. Smart girl. I love their sloppy slobby water foreplay too.

  7. I've been Robbed says:

    I really liked the movie, and I thought Rob did a great job. Again I felt the screenwriting could have been better, I think he didn’t always have much to work with sometimes, so some of his lines came across a little flattened. He was totally believable though, and completely hot of course. Can’t wait to see it again.

  8. roslynselene says:

    BTW: Remember I said I didn’t have a fear of clowns? Well I do now… O.O

  9. Fel says:

    Thanks for the clown picture! lol

  10. pukesten says:

    i’m sorry for always posting links to pics, but this is the hottest i’ve seen this boy look (out of a suit) in a loooong time!

    • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

      Great photo, Pukesten!

      Regarding todays great letter – I think/fear Rob lives a little too much inside his head (maybe he analyses things too much), he needs to learn to “let go” once in a while!Let go and feel the passion Rob, it’s not dangerous! You might even like it!
      And yes, sometimes he is wise way beyond his years, yet sometimes he gives the impression of a “prudish” little boy!
      The BIG and important question for today is – is RG86 in Berlin giving Rob some loving today? Hope you are……

    • maggie says:

      The…End. What else is there to discuss after this pic? Any waning Rob-mojo is just plain shot to hell. ROB! You’re killing us, bb!!!!

      (Hope you’re feeling better, Ros).

  11. roslynselene says:

    Was watching the Colbert Report and he was talking about tasers being taken away in Alaska. Apparently, it’s a danger to animals cause someone could taser the animal to take a picture with it, and release it when they’re done. Then he said, “Big deal, that’s how I got my photo taken with Robert Pattinson.”

    Bhahahaha! 😀

  12. lola says:

    I think Rob’s got a bunch of sexual swagger, I think we got a taste of it in RM, and I think Bel Ami, if it ever sees the light of day, will be a testament to it. WFE was a deliberately old fashioned movie, it was romanticised not sexualized.

    And let’s remember: He may not be able to go anywhere now, but Rob had about four years of independence before he blew up with Twilight. He was a model-slash-actor-slash-musician. Either one of those slashes would get him laid for the next decade. Put all three together, and a extra topping of handsome and being a part of the Harry Potter franchise? Dude could get laid until he was 50-WITHOUT ever having been Edward Cullen.

    Rob’s got experience, trust. lol

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Agreed. Rob can get laid until he’s 90 just by being Rob. If he was a Starbucks barista, I would order 3 lattes a day. If he was a vet assistant, I would go buy a fish, gerbil, cat, horse and parakeet, just to see him. Good thing he is not a gyno, the wait list for my pap would be like 12 years. Or a pediatrician, I would have 12 kids just so I could see him every month. And don’t get me started on what I might do if he was a bartender.

      • roslynselene says:

        Mojitos! 😉

        But but…what if he was a teacher? I’d still be a senior in high school because there is no way I’d be able to pass my classes with Mr. Pattinson teaching. And I think I’d also be failing on purpose just for tutoring classes. I can be stupid on purpose! 😀

      • maggie says:

        This topic provides much food for thought: Rob as a soda jerk? Gain 20lbs eating banana splits two or three times a day; Rob as a dentist? Gee, I need to replace all my fillings and probably could use a crown or two; a bricklayer? I’d like my patio, driveway and siding redone, please – take as long as you like; delivery boy? I’d like my packages (packages?) delivered every morning after 8:30am, please – (the DH leaves for work at 8:15). mmm….lots of new yummy daydreams …..thanks, nat!!

        • roslynselene says:

          A gardener?-Isn’t is too hot to have a shirt on, Mister?
          A pool boy?-Please feel free to wear your swimming trunks and re-enact Jumping Rob for me.
          A librarian?-I’ll read every book in the library and stay late “studying”.
          A therapist?-I can make up the craziest shit (example: I have a phobia of attractive men fully clothed so I ask them to get nekkid all the time. I dunno why.)
          A male stripper?- Bwahahahahaha! Here’s a dollar, buy yourself something nice. 🙂

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Bus driver – OOOPS, missed my stop again, guess I need to keep riding the circuit all day long.
          Appliance repair guy – Toaster not working right. Again. “The toast just doesn’t look right. Need warm golden brown, not medium sandy brown.”
          Hair stylist: Constant bang trims. Just need .25 inches off this time.
          Mattress seller: “I don’t know…DH is about your size, do you mind reclining me and spooning me just so I can get a better sense of what it might feel like?”

          It just could go on. And it should.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          and maggie +11000000 pts for “packages”. snickering.

          • maggie says:

            LOL! You guys crack me up!

            And Rob could be a delivery man for the rest of his life and never get to all the women waiting and ready with pen in hand to sign for THAT package.

      • robsfuturemate says:

        Loving them all Ladies!!!

  13. robsfuturemate says:

    “a deliberately old fashioned movie, it was romanticised not sexualized.”
    Very True, didn’t think about that.

  14. KeepOnKeepingOn says:

    The taser manip – hilarious! Hmmm… now where do you buy a taser? Lol, jk. I only want him willing 😉

  15. twiprof says:

    I think rob is on his way…..mmmmhmmmm

  16. Vivi says:

    I think just WFE is not enough for me to form a opinion about it… but he seems very manly on the few Bel Ami stills…

    He has to bring it to Cosmopolis tough, I mean I did not read the book but the little snipets I read about his character he seems very ‘confident hot’

    I did not see WFE yet (it will start tomorrow here in Brazil) but I confess that I have a problem with Reese… In all interviews she seems forced, a somewhat fake-ish smile and I dont think I get here appeal…

  17. robnewbie says:

    W/O going into too much detail, I’m new to this whole robsession thing. Hadn’t seen/read/really heard much about Rob/Twilight until Jan 2011. Flash forward to April 2011…what the f**k happened to me? Have now seen/read every Twilight movie/book too many times to count, robstalked as many sites/pics as possible, read WFE over and over, and have seen it 2X, going for a 3rd this PM. I am totes ignoring RL for someone I’ve never even met before and never will…this is just so weird!

    This is the first time I’ve ever posted on a rob site (that’s right, a virgin, if you will), but had to b/c I’m totally fascinated by a comment in this particulary letter. R/K are saving “it” until they’re married? R U joking or do you have a theory behind this? Do tell. And, as you once requested in another letter, a flow chart and diagram with supporting evidence would be much appreciated. :0)

    You gals rock,

    • maggie says:

      Hi robnewbie!

      Welcome to the best Rob site on the web. You’ll meet the smartest, wittiest, funniest and BEST fans that Rob has in the whole world. You can feel right at home here because everything you’ve experienced since January – including “what the f**k happened to me?” is considered totally normal here.

      You’ll have to ask UC to prepare the flow charts and diagrams re the “saving it” comment. I live in total denial when it comes to SWMNBN. (Can you figure that out? If so, you’ve passed your LTR initiation with flying colors).

  18. Britt says:

    I haven’t seen the movie yet but is THAT Really him??? LMFAO It looks like Andy Samberg!

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