Most Desirable Celebrity Husband: Robert Pattinson and… Justin Bieber??

Dear Rob,

So clearly someone at CTV (whatever that is) is a big Twilight fan and has been waiting with bated breath, watching all the non-goings on in Baton Rouge. Yesterday, some pictures of you and the gang walking around on the studio lot shot around the interwebs. In them you were wearing a wedding ring (I’ll pause to let the ladies collect themselves) and looking verrrrry husband-y. So when I saw this list CTV created of the Top 10 Most Desirable Celebrity Husbands, I knew! How else would they have seen the ring and been so inspired?

It’s a pretty interesting list to say the least though I have a few questions for the creators. I can understand being blinded by the Edward ring pictures but some of the guys on the top ten just maybe perhaps don’t belong. Let’s take a look…

Most Desirable Celebrity Husband:

Uh yea… we’ll take both

1. Prince Harry – Besides Rob this is probably the most plausible entry. Who wouldn’t want to be a Princess? AND it’s Harry, aka Prince Hot Ginge (™Dlisted) aka the Prince who still has all his hair. ANNND he’s a fine piece. I cosign this choice for the list.

2. Justin Bieber – Let me get this straight… a 16 year old BOY who’s about 5 feet tall and thinks he’s God’s gift is a DESIRABLE HUSBAND? They have the good drugs at CTV, right? You might wanna check over your should for Chris Hanson. I hear he doesn’t like this kind of thing. And besides that what would Selena Gomez do? Sad. (that I know that)

Uh yea. ZERO competish here Rob.

3. Robert Pattinson – DUH for days (and one of the only single guys on here)

4. David Beckham – Married with a 4th baby on the way? This is a big NO and I bet Posh can throw down like a chola in a street fight. Bitch looks FIERCE. But he is mad hot, I’ll give him that.

5. Russell Brand – N0, just no. More power to Katy Perry for picking a guy that undoubtedly makes her laugh, but no thanks for me.

6. Colin Firth – The possibility of Mr. Darcy role play is making my head spin… or maybe it’s the caffeine in the TRENTA sized Starbucks I just drank. Either way: YES, ALWAYS YES to this.

7. Prince William – That bitch Kate Middleton beat us to the punch but we’ll have the last laugh. See #1 and this guys hairline.

8. George Clooney – Terminal bachelor who has said he’ll never get married. So

Rob, WHO?

either he’s super closeted gay or leaves the seat up and he doesn’t want to change. No thanks.

9. Piers Morgan – The dude from X Factor who took Larry Kings spot? Oldie McOld? NO!

10. Brad Pitt – Who wants to step mom like 2309402394 kids? You can have him Angie, we’ll send Bieber over too! There’s always room for one more, the kids’ll love him!

Ok so it’s fun to imagine Rob as a possible hubby but let’s remember he’s playing a character AND he’s TWENTY FOUR!! He hasn’t even been broken in yet. Let’s let someone else take that bullet and then we’ll sweep in and take him. DUH.

Thanks though CTV and whoever the Twihard/Rob fan was behind this little piece you’ve provided many laughs and mental images of Justin Bieber at my wedding. *shudder*

XO,
Themoonisdown

And for kicks follow the jump to the Top Ten LEAST Desirable Celebrity Husbands
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Robert is #5 on the freebie f@!K list! Only number 5…

You're gonna need a cigarette after these ladies are done with you

Dear Rob,

We’ve talked about ‘the freebie list’ a lot around here. You know the list that couples have of people they could sleep with and it’d be ok because that person is on the list? Well Some site polled a bunch of bored ladies at home and work and the results are in. You’re… (drum roll please)… number 5 (crickets). Yea, looks like you’re not everyone’s cup of tea but you did beat out the Fresh Prince AND Ashton Kutcher. By a measly 3% but I choose to believe these ladies were either high on toliet bowl cleaner fumes or entertaining their inner Demi. I mean Ashton Kutcher? You should have beat him by like 100’s of percentage points. He made the trucker hat infamous.

1. Brad Pitt – 69% – I guess ladies like to think of hot, humanitarian, father of 234929347234, meet Joe Black, Brad Pitt and not Benjamin Buttons baby Brad Pitt. To each his own I guess.

2. Johnny Depp – 67% – Well DUH. Who doesn’t like pirates with questionable personal hygiene?

3. Gerard Butler – 66% – Have you SEEN that picture of Gerard giving Jennifer Aniston “the shocker” from the Bounty Hunter premiere? I think you ladies might want to rethink this one since Gerard seems to be into the no go zone.

4. David Beckham – 63% – As long as he didn’t speak.

5. Robert Pattinson – 61% – As long as he brought Tom Stu along…

6. Ashton Kutcher – 58% – For reals?

7. George Clooney – 57% – How the HALE isn’t he number 1? Or number everything?

8. Justin Timberlake – 54% – All my wildest high school fantasies come true with JT

9. Will Smith – 52% – I’d be too worried about Tom Cruise showing up “unannounced” for a little personal one on one “e-meter reading” to follow through with this one.

10. Hugh Jackman – 51% – More Wolverine less Boy from Oz.

Even the CLOONSTER didn't beat me?

When you can compete with the likes of REAL men like the Clooney, the Pitt (ew, the pitt?) and The Depp  you know you’ve arrived. Or maybe you know that your PR team is on their shit. Or maybe you just know that Stephanie Ritz’s assistant was ordered to vote 23942390472354 times or until their laptop exploded to get you to number one all by themselves. Since you landed at #5, clearly the assistant was fired. Should have bribed the Robsteners with an “exclusive photo” (read: Rob and Kristen in their Bella and Edward costumes with a fireplace in the background.) to insure that Rob won. Amateur.

Next time Rob, next time! Like they say… Shoot for the moon and even if you miss you’ll land among the stars. REAL stars. Heh.

Themoonisdown
Where’s Rob on your freebie list? Who’s ON your freebie list? Ashton Kutcher? 😉

Read it over at Robert Pattinson Life but can’t find a permalink to the original post

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