Received this letter from MarbleNutSlut a few days ago
Let me give you a peek into my fevered brain: it’s 9am on a Tuesday. I’ve got to take my 6 year old to the dentist, which I am quite pleased with myself that I have remembered to do all on my own. I am doing the dishes, in a nice, matronly way, when I decide to
entertain my brain by deciding:
What is the dealbreaker scenario wherein I would *not* sleep with Robert Pattinson?
An affinity for Adult Baby Diapers? errr…every time, or special occasion? because I can try to make it work. I am open minded! Srsly you are so. pretty. Robert Pattinson. so. pretty.
Does Robert Pattinson like to dress as Little Bo Peep? (I want this to be the Google Search that finally unites us, please oh please) Again, is this an every day thing? I mean…can I close my eyes at least some of the time? Is it a *nice* Little Bo Peep dress?
I think I’ve come up with a few scenarios, though. Take a mind-walk with me:
1. Us, at a bar, laughing, having a wonderful time.
Him: “So, I am totally DTF, but just so you know, I can’t get an erection without kiddie porn playing in the room. So, give me an hour and I will meet you in my mother’s bed. Here’s your harness.”
2. Us, at a bar, laughing, having a wonderful time.
Him: “Anyhoo, I was so relieved when the guys at the Scientology meeting told me the Holocaust never happened. Also I hate blacks and gays.”
I consulted with NatteringYeahRobber, and she added to the list:
- Too much stench. Like the 3-days of no showering + the alcohol-sweats.
- Anything involving me pretending to be his potty or him pretending to be my potty. I don’t do potty stuff, that’s just off limits for me. Diapering him….maybe, as long as diaper is clean and dry. I will NOT be changing dirty adult diapers. I’ve changed enough dirty diapers in my lifetime, never again.
Play the game with me,
I agree- your deal-breakers are DEFINITELY ones for me, but what about the ones we visited in the past (August of 2009, to be exact!) Let’s Check in. How do we feel about:
Hairy, fat chests & gold chains:
Still a deal-breaker!
If Rob was into Nascar
Stillll a deal breaker!
What if Rob was in a Frat?
Dealbreaker for me!
Back in 2009, Pinkfluffgirl said “his ass could be in jorts, wearing crocs, with guido rings, a short sleeved white dress shirt and I’d STILL do him”
Ummm, sorry, Pinkfluffgirl, I’m gonna have to call THIS a dealbreaker (haha looking at these photoshops Moon did 2 years ago! amazing!)
Here are a few new deal-breakers I’ve thought of:
- If Rob grew a mustache. I’m not saying I hate that hipster look. I kinda love it on the right guy. I’d just HATE it on Rob!
If Rob was really into cats: I love cats. I love when men love cats. Just not when they have photoshoots with their cats. And look like this dude.
- Rob in Jorts, with a mullet, mustache, big goofy smile, overweight, hairy chest, big gold chain, former frat-boy, Nascar-loving cat dude.
Do I really have to spell it out?!!!
What are your deal-breakers with Rob!?