(Remember when I wrote a post using the sad trombone button and every time I told you to HIT IT you were supposed to hit the button? Well same thing here today. Open the HIT IT link in a new window and read away!)
Monday you returned HOME to LA (welcome back) and was seen leaving LAX with… three suitcases! HIT IT! Crazy, I know! So clearly since you own like 2 shirts and were wearing your only pair of pants these suitcases couldn’t be for you. The fans (ahem Robsten fans) KNEW it had to be something else. Like something for Kristen Stewart! HIT IT! But she pretty much owns 2 pairs of pants and a shirt so it couldn’t be her clothes, OBVIOUSLY. And as much as we both want to believe Kristen was actually IN one of those suitcases HIT IT unless the other suitcase had some sort of oxygen tank, it’s probably not her. So I’m here to figure out what all those suitcases could be… in (say it in a loud and booming theatrical trailer style voice) Rob and the Mystery of the Three Suitcases! HIT IT!
What could the three suitcases be full of?
1. A years supply of Hobknobs and Marks & Spence Underwears HIT IT!
2. Fish and Chips because Harry Clearwater’s fish fry actually isn’t the best in the world. SHHHHH! HIT IT!
3. The ashes of Patty. He wants to spread them over the Pacific Ocean and the In N Out Drive Thru HIT IT!
4. Being a girl who might actually have and take 3 suitcases worth of clothes to Europe, Ashley Greene blackmailed Rob into taking home hers so she could go on a shopping spree and fill up 3 more suitcases. HIT IT!
5. All of the clothes Claire sat our for charity donation. It’s almost winter here in LA! HIT IT!
6. A little hit of London’s rain and fog (he misses it) HIT IT!
7. His beard trimming system. Gotta keep the facial hair in tip top shape whether it’s heard, goatees, mustaches or chin patches HIT IT!
8. Letters from Dick. Dick decided it was more genteel to send letters the old fashioned way. Then he realized he didn’t have any stamps. HIT IT!
9. Dean bought a lot of Man Jewelry in Europe and couldn’t fit it all in his luggage so Rob offered to use his extra luggage allowance HIT IT!
10. This is part of his book library. He’s decorating his new home and wanted to fill it with his favorite books. HIT IT!
11. Swedish Fish. HIT IT! He got hooked on them while promoting the film in Sweden. Little does he know we totally have those here.
12. Macaroons from La Duree HIT IT! He knows how much I love them and bought back 3 suitcases full. What a good guy!
Since it simply cannot be normal stuff like clothes, personal belongings or stuff from her place here in LA, you know like normal people put in suitcases. The fandom just WON’T allow it, we’re left with guessing and these are the best options. I’ll report back later on what’s actually in there when I go to “visit” later. If he’s anything like me he’ll still have those suitcases in various states of unpacked for months to come.
No baggage here!
PS Is it weird I kinda miss the lopsided toupee heairdo?? Cause I do. HIT IT!
Also, Water for Elephants is out on DVD! Go and getcha some!
So do we think it’s some master conspiracy or is he just bringing back some of his stuff? Why must everything be a mystery?
Thanks Drama Button!