Robert Pattinson is auctioned off to the highest bidder

Heh... heh... you bid HOW much???

Dear Rob,

Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote to explain that a meeting with you was being auctioned off and that it was oddly worded to include a 2 night stay in a hotel and that at press time the bids were around $10,000. WEEELLLL the auction ended and you’re never guess how much the package went for. No, seriously you’ll never guess!!! Ok, ready? A POSSIBLE (yea, the description saidthey couldn’t even guarantee you’d be there!) meet-n-greet with you on the set of Breaking Dawn in Vancouver went for a bid of EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!! That’s an 8 with 4 zeros behind it!! For that kind of money I would expect to live with you in LA RENT FREE for like the next 5 years where you feed me Flaming Hot Cheetos while I watch episodes of The Office in my Hello Kitty pj’s. Not a MAYBE chance of seeing you in a city where it SNOWS.

In light of this news we came up with some mini letters we want to share…

Dear 15 year old who won,
Your Daddy regrets missing your Quinceanera, huh? Is this his way of making it up to you? Did you threaten to runaway if he didn’t buy this for your episode of My Super Sweet 16 (or 15 in this case)?

You lucky bizzzznatch. Too bad you will not have the life experience to know what to do with this man. Once again youth (and My Super Sweet 16) is wasted on the young.

Moon and UC


Ok... maybe it's worth it

Dear Grown-ass woman who bid 80,000 bucks and won,
You do realize that you’re now on “The List” right? The maker’s of “The List” don’t care that it’s going to a charity that no one’s ever heard of. Nice try on trying get 2 days with Rob in a hotel room but clearly, you’re not an LTR regular to know we’re about as serious as a fanny pack. But you…you’re full fledge on “The List.”

Scared for you,
Moon and UC

Rob- tell your people they better step up their game and make sure you don’t just decide to take off one day to make a quick run to Norman’s Rare Guitar’s in the Valley, while some poor rich girl sits in a Vancouver hotel room sobbing about draining her 401 and her inheritance on a POSSIBLE chance to meet you. Show her a good time, buy her a pitcher of PBR at a dive bar, show her a couple dumpsters and wash your hair. You know a real Robert Pattinson experience. I mean it’s EIGHTY THOOOOUUUUUSAND smackers!

Wishing we had a 80 thousand bones (to NOT spend on Rob),
Moon and UC

Srsly, 80K?! WTF? Anyone? Is this just us or do you guys think this is insane?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


105 Commented

Rob’s on the auction block and I make a plan

Read this:

Dear Rob,

Do you know that a 2 night stay in a hotel with you during Breaking Dawn Filming in Vancouver, is being auctioned off for a good cause?

You must have been listening when I wanted you to be more like Kellan in regards to charity. But this is AHMAZING! I mean talk about sacrifice! You never know WHO could win this thing or who you’ll be in a hotel room with for 2 nights. It could be a crazy Krisbian who really just wants to meet Kristen or wants to tell you to treat her right, or maybe it’s it Taylor Swift hoping to win back TLaut or it could be one of those crazy Rob fans who are “on the list.” You know the list. OR it could be me because I’ve taken out a 2nd mortgage, drained my 401K, withdrew all our LTT store money (27 dollars!) and “borrowed” all of UC and Mr. Choice’s life savings (shhh! Don’t tell) and started selling life size cardboard Jumping Rob’s (a gabillion in preorders already!). So I’m pretty sure, unless Nikki Reed starts bidding against me (I can’t compete against revenge money) I will win!! Don’t be scuuuurrred!

But what will we do for 2 whole days in a hotel room? Ok, get your mind out of the gutter (no wait, don’t).

I’ve come up with a few ideas for our two days…

and just because we can now… follow the jump(ing Rob) for the rest!!

145 Commented

I write Rob about Kellan

Dear Rob,

I was all ready to write something about you being in Brazil on speed boats with your Edward hair, standing on balconies, looking through windows and walking through airports but then I saw a news piece where Kellan Lutz called you “mind blowing” and I clicked over to read hoping I could make fun of you both or call you le ghey in a future post  until I saw this picture

and I changed my mind about everything and this entire post. So here’s what I really want to say…

Dear Rob,

Why can’t you be more like Kellan?

Ok… so I know you’re confused and wondering why I’m not ribbing you or fawning over a photo of you in Brasil. I just can’t right now. It’s that picture up there. It’s not Kellan man chesticles or his weird leather tie or his ‘is that thinning’ hair?, that made me stop, it’s his necklace. The whistle necklace, because when I saw him wearing it, I knew HE KNEW. He was wearing a Falling Whistles necklace. What’s a Falling Whistles necklace you ask? Welll….

Falling Whistles gives a small window into our world’s largest war. Originally just a journal written about boys sent to the frontlines of war armed with only a whistle, readers forwarded it with the same kind of urgency in which it was written and demanded to know –

what can we do?

The Falling Whistles campaign launched with a simple response – make their weapon your voice and be a whistleblower for peace in Congo. Read the story and buy the whistle. Proceeds go to rehabilitate and advocate for war-affected children. Share their story and speak up for them.

Needless to say it’s an amazing, amazing cause AND an awesomely fashionably accessory with a deeper meaning. And it just makes me love Kellan even more that he knows about Falling Whistles. I also love how Kellan uses his Twitter and celebrity to help raise awareness for many great causes. AND it makes me think of you, Rob. You helped out with the Haiti telethon and I heard you may have become involved with the World Wildlife Foundation after shooting Water for Elephants but I think there’s something to be said for being more vocal and active with causes that need to have some light shed on them and maybe that’s why I’m writing you and asking you to be more like Kellan. Well, minus the  because imagine if you were hot and played Edward AND loved good causes??? You’d be even more unstoppable, like I would just give up cause that’d toooo much goodness.

So could you think about being like Kellan?


PS Thanks for showing up in Brasil and I swear we’ll start talking about it but for now you understand

Ok, so I wouldn’t normally commandeer LTR for philanthropic reasons but I just couldn’t get over it and wanted to share the great story of Falling Whistles with you all cause I know you all have big hearts and would love it. Go visit their site, watch the video and read their story, it’s truly amazing. Trust. Oh and there’s a TON of Rob stuff from Brasil I’m weeding through. UC and I will hit that next time.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

159 Commented

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