Rob: I’d like to be your date

Dear Rob,

Today i was thinking about how to convince you to take me to the Breaking Dawn premiere. I know i know, it’s a little out there you’ve never taken a fan before but that’s my #1 Reason

Rob Pattinson weather man

This is not what I mean by Spontaneity

#1: Spontaneity
Here we are week after week begging you to surprise us- to do something different than shave part of your facial hair or grow a little more back. Asking you to do something different than wear the same clothes over and over again & be a recluse in your home, refusing to come out for us to see the pretty. You could solve all of these problems by taking me on the red carpet! I promise I’ll be a very willing & very grateful guest.

#2 I’m Definitely DTF so you don’t have to worry about your game- which, by the way, you have none of. I’m cool with your friends watching. Not my first choice, but since you don’t seem to be able to be a part from them, I’ll let this one slide

#3 I’ll come prepared with double doubles in my purse. And I’ll leave room to show a couple hour devours in my bag for us to snack on later

You won't be able to keep your hands off of this

#4 I’m gonna look hot I’ve already found the perfect outfit. Yep, that’s right- it’s a Bridesmaid dress. When they ask “UC who are YOU wearing tonight?” I’ll answer proudly, “Oh this ol’ thing? It’s just off the rack at david’s Bridal. I’m a Bridesmaid in the wedding of Bella & Edward *wink*”

#5 I actually knew who Van Morrison was Even before you mentioned them in that first interview. And I’ll be making a KILLER mix tape for the car ride. You have a tape deck in whatever wheels you’re rolling in these days, right?

#6 I’ll babysit I know Dick can get chatty after drinking a couple glasses of “Bella’s Blood” (the drink special of the after party) so I’m happy to take him off your hands & swing him around the dance floor. I’m really great with dads. [I am not saying I’m DTF with your dad. I mean, I don’t think I am…] And I’ll teach your sisters ALL about American fashion (I already convinced you of my knowledge above)

#7 I’ll bring a date for Dean your head of security. Wait. is that his REAL name? Or the name he was given on one of our sites long ago? Either way, he won’t be alone. I know a VERY pretty girl who would just love to be his date (Surprise, it’s Moon.)

This could get awkward

#8: Less awkwardness
Watching the movie next to me will be way less awkward than watching the movie next to Kristen because you know there are those rumors about the two of you. And, I mean, you DO it on screen. Like hardcore do it Look at these back muscles. That’s not someone who is just playing the tip. You are getting it IN. BIG TIME. And do you think that there won’t be cat calls in that theater? That there won’t be screams from the cheap seats from gals who have been counting down the days until they can see Robsten “make love?” It will be so much less awkward for you to just have your arm around someone new than to be sitting a couple seats from Kristen while you’re both blushing. You can be like “What? What are you looking at it? This isn’t a big deal.. I’m just siting here with my girl UC watching myself do it with a girl on screen. That’s it” It’ll let you continue… your charade or whatever you two think you’re doing.

So what do you think? Pick me up at 8? I’ll be the one waiting outside Moon’s house, in a big puffy pink dress


What do you think? Would I make a great date for Rob or the red carpet?

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23 Commented

Red Carpet Rob

Dear Rob,

As I get ready to turn on the red carpet for the Oscars, I am silently saying a prayer that that horrible man from Summit was wrong about “No Twilight cast being at the Oscars” and you will show. The “Robscars” are when my love & so many others love was solidified for you for all eternity. It’s when LTR almost broke because of the literally thousands of comments we had of your short, but sweet & hot performance. The thought of you not being there when I turn on the TV in approximately 5 minutes is almost too much to bear.

I thought to help myself grieve, I’d reminisce about your other red carpet performances in the form of an award show. So presenting:

The First annual LTR awards to Rob and only Rob for his performances at various Red Carpets around the Globe

The award for “No one could make this look hot but you” goes to:

Rob Pattinson for his portrayal of “Hot guy in a Maroon suit” at the Eclipse Premiere

The award for “Best Channeling of an 80’s sitcom uncle, just add the mullet” goes to:

Rob “Uncle Jesse Katsopolis” Pattinson

Award for “Best, Straight-forward, no funny-business, drop-dead gorgeous look on the red carpet” goes to:

Rob Pattinson Oscars, 2009.

Runner up goes to Rob Pattinson: New Moon premiere, November 2009 for this look, and this look only:

Award for “Best ability to control oneself in the presence of a she-man” goes to :

Rob Pattinson at the London premiere of Twilight, standing in front of a she-man, because the PR firm handling the red-carpet didn’t understand Twilight was about vampires.

Award for “About to break into a Contemporary Christian “Praise & Worship Song” on the red carpet” goes to:

Rob Pattinson for his uplifting time in Japan in 2009.

(The Award for “Leading us in a time of prayer” was given out earlier in the night to:

Rob Pattinson for his heartfelt, spirit-moved prayer time in Japan in 2009.)

Award for Best smile at an award’s show goes to:

Rob Pattinson & his mouth & face & smile for this video:

(Earlier tonight, This video also won the award for “Most Appropriate music to listen to whilest looking at video of Rob Pattinson’s Smile”)

So while my fingers are still crossed (and now uncrossed as I revisit this post at 12 am after the show & after the “big surprise” Summit promised which was funny but not “big” and they didn’t lie- you were not there) that you’ll show, at least reminiscing about your many wonderful red carpet experiences of the past is pretty fun too.

One day we’ll have another RObcars moment together,


What award did I miss giving out to Rob? Did you watch the show last night? What did you think of the Eclipse- auto tuned segment?

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79 Commented

Rob is creepin me out but then totally redeems himself!

Dear Rob,

Because we need to break down those pictures of you on the Water for Elephants reshoots but because we’ve both exhausted from work and couldn’t discuss yesterday and because we love creepy stuff and we’ll get to you in WFE NEXT TIME I present to you… the creepiest NEW stuff I could find of you…

Woah! You’ve never done mid sentence pictures well, I mean who does? But still take a cue from Julia Roberts she talks through her smile… or maybe just comb your hair down a little…

I titled this picture “wide mouth” for a reason… I mean you might be able to deep throat that microphone if some awesome reporter/LTR reader pushed it up just like 3 inches. BUT REALLY what’s more shocking, the diameter of that mouth or how frozen Vanessa Williams fiveforehead is?!

Multiple angles of this horrid ILL FITTING velvet jacket. Sure, I’m happy to blame this on age and stupidity, we know this is from the Harry Potter premiere

Now there are some cute Rob wallpapers out there and all but this scares me, it’s something about that american flag mouth and the tongue and the Texas tuxedo Rob’s wearing the the quote… WHAT in the hale is going on here?!

Rob hungry, Rob want braaaaaiiinnsssss

Ok, ok so you creeped me out a bit but dude you SOOO made up for it with these……….


DUUUUUDE you and Andrew Garfield?? Yes. Just yes. ALWAYS yes.

And we promise we’ll get to your WFE stuff soon. Hopefully.

Aren’t these super creepy? But dude AGarf (my new name for him)?! Anyone else excited for the Spiderman reboot with him? I am! Now if only we could have gotten TomStu in the middle there… awww perfect world…

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93 Commented

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