MTV Movie Awards – My blinking heart crotch beats only for Rob
(Welcome to our new digs!! This is LTR, have a look around and update your bookmarks!)
The MTV movie awards started off with such promise…
MTV could have just stopped the show after this, really how could it have gone up from here? MTV blew their wad in the first 5 seconds… Time to get some TV Viagra MTV, so you can last for the WHOLE 93254902348 hours this show drags on.
Didn’t see it live?
Also kudos to MTV for resurrecting a movie character over 2 years old as the main character for half the bits they played. Len Grossman?? Way to stay current folks! Who ever said you gous lost touch with pop culture? Speaking of, what about that Len Grossman (Tom Cruise) slash Jennifer Lopez performance, huh?! Another banner moment in irrelevancy for the night.
Follow the cut to see Rob win some awards, some other stuff happens and we have a GIVEAWAY!!
then some old guys from SNL and the King of Queens dressed up in their finest Old Navy cargos to talk about something and give KStew her award. I’ll refrain from even talking about it cause “I agree… WHOOO!”
Then TI came out and my roommate told us how hot she thought he was and we reminded her he’s an ex-con. Wah wah wah.
And then Jonah Hill and Russell Brand fought about Team Jacob vs Team Edward and stole my line about how it’s reminiscent of the East Coast/West Coast rap wars of the 90s when they described it to P.Diddy.
Some more stuff happened… Anna Kendrick and her awesome boobs won something, then an asian man almost flashed us his balls while dancing in a leopard thong unitard. I’m currently still bleaching my eye balls.
While the folks watching at my house debated who would win best kiss I told them to never underestimate the power of the Robsten fans. Though a KStew/Dakota kiss would be a close second. The only group as powerful or as scary as the Robtens would most definitely be the Krisbians. Never underestimate the power for fake lesbian love. But it had to be Robsten fans in the end… give them a possible fake kissing opportunity on national TV and they’ll burn the midnight oil voting till their computer explodes or until they’re forced to take up a speed habit or pay homeless men to make it a reality.
So surprise as expected you guys won. Then reprising her role as Bella from that little movie saga called Twilight and reminding us of why the 2009 MTV Movie Awards were so great, Kristen half tripped walking up to accept their award for best kiss…
But Kristen wasn’t having any of that… and she smooshed you all up in the face.
and then the most awkward kiss/non kiss happened or didn’t happen. And we all remained bored so we opened that case of Pabst in the fridge. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t bring myself to care. After last year when you guys sent everyone into a tizzy you just can’t top that.
Katy Perry performed in a blue wig and oiled up boobs.
Then we all had girl crushes on Sandra Bullocks legs and shoes. Mostly, the shoes. And of course Betty White. The best kiss should have been between you and Betty. Let an older woman show you how it’s done.
Then Ken Jeong won for the Hangover and totally confused us with his swing in emotions from winning to his wife’s breast cancer, to cursing to Mike Tyson getting all clappy.
And then my boyfriend Aziz Ansari did he awesome R Kelly impression and saved me from ever having to watch Avatar! LIKE!
Then we were scared because The Rock looked like a steroid experiment gone really wrong.
And then Tom Felton, looking like an anime character, accepted an award for best villian when the creepers from the Thumping Beaver bookstore parking lot Twilight flashback in New Moon, clearly should have won. I mean they tried to make Bella drink a Natty Ice and listen to them make fart jokes in a parking lot. That is obviously a true villain.
And then came the most confusing part of all… the Eclipse trailer…
So much to say here… what was the music under the clip? And why did Taylor forget the 2nd half of his line “…hold on tight…” YOU LITTLE SPIDER MONKEY?! Hello!! Do we have to do everything around here?
Then Zac Efron was robbed cause you won Best Male Performance (heh). I KID, I KID! Of course you’re supposed to win because how else will we make fun of you, if you’re not allowed on stage to let loose lines about stuff coming out of your pants but in this case you thanked for parents for “CONCEIVING” you. Yup, ya did. And I may have shuttered a little for you.
Then we debated whether Katie Holmes had applied body lotion to her face or whether she was in love with the botox needle.
Then another shocking surprise total expected event happened: New Moon won best movie of the year.
There was a lot shocking about this, namely Jackson’s total descent into awfulness. The jacket? The hair? I never thought I’d say this, but can you not lend him one of your stolen outfits? Or show him what a comb looks like? And while you’re at it wash Peter Facinelli’s mouth out with soap so Stephenie Meyer doesn’t have to fly to LA and do it herself. Mike Dexter may drop more F bombs than the folks on the Howard Stern show but Carlisle Cullen does not! Somewhere a Summit PR person cried into their Blackberry.
SO then I think it was over and I thought about the fact I have to watch these until at least 2012 and then I wanted to crack one of those popcorn trophies over my own head.
I love you Aziz!
PS take a look at our new digs!!!! Yup, Rob this is your NEW home! Goodbye blue blog hello scruffy hotness with a homeless man cardboard background. Feels just like home, right? So if you’re a nerd it’s time to update bookmarks AND your reader needs to be updated to: letterstorob.com/feed
So did you watch the MTV Movie Awards? What’d ya think? Favorite part? Did you win any money in your MTV Movie Awards pool? Would anyone bet against a Rob/Twilight fan?
We will no longer be updating LTT and LTR at our wordpress.com addresses so make sure you update your stuff and come here for your daily fix! Because our archives are so big not all of our old posts are here yet, we’re having to move them over slowly, one by one. So if you’re looking for an older post you can visit our archives at LTT and LTR. Since we’re now self hosting be patient as we work out the kinks and if something seems majorly wrong please email or tweet us. FYI- your first few comments on the new site will probably be thrown into the “moderation” queue until we approve them. After that you shouldn’t be moderated anymore! Don’t freak!
BUUUTTT to celebrate the big move we’re hosting a GIVEAWAY!! Yup, we’re not actually going to make you do anything other than comment on today’s post (giveaway runs through Friday) and then we’ll use a random generator to pick our winner of LTT/LTR store merchandise! Head on over to the all new LTT and check it’s new look out!
Tags: , Anna Kendrick, Aziz Ansari, Best Kiss, Eclipse, Jonah Hill, Katy Perry, kiss, Krisbians, Kristen Stewart, MTV movie awards, New Moon, P Diddy, picture, robert pattinson, Robsten, Russell Brand, Stephanie Ritz, Taylor Lautner, Team Edward, Team Jacob, Tom Cruise, Twilight, video
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