Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry? We’d ship that

Dear Rob,

So I was talking to Brookelockart yesterday [Wait Hold the phone: You think I’m in a fight with Moon, don’t you? Since I’m spending more internet time with Brooke? I’m not. But I am in a fight with her job]

Moving on, Brookelockart & I were discussing this latest piece in Lainey Gossip about how Katy Perry wants to jump your bones.

It’s Gossip. So let’s take it with a grain of salt. But also, we’ve been hearing “Gossip” for YEARS that Katy wants to jump your bones, so can we say that maybe it is sorta somewhat maybe possibly true?

Either way, we both decided that if you and Katy decided to become a “thing” we’d TOTALLY ship it. So here are 10 reasons why you dating Katy would be good for you & us:

Cause if you dated this wouldn’t be the ONLY image available if you google “Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry”

1) She has Boobs & you like boobs

2) Katy’s bubbly personality will definitely cheer you up.

3) It would be FUN. Not serious. No one needs serious. You need FUN

4) What guy doesn’t want to bang her in her California Girls get up

5) Katy knows Snoop dog. And no doubt has access to really quality weed

6) Katy would actually like to be seen with you in public

8) And you’ll feel like a sexual superstar when fireworks shoot out of her boobs

9) Since Katy is obsessed with you, there will be an EPIC sad love ballad penned after you get bored and end it (a la Thinking of You)

10) Your dating Katy may stop all the robsten shippers from harrassing anyone slightly related to Rob or Kristen

Can we start trending #robstenisbroken #RobKatishot yet??

Love,
UnintendedChoice & Brookelockart

What do you think? Could Rob use a little Katy fun in his life?

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Posted in: Rob
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Breaking It Down: While I was gone Robsten came out, he wore plaid and we were NOT surprised

Dear Rob-

I’ve been away from you for over two weeks and I know you’ve undoubtedly cried yourself to sleep every night, drowned your sorrows in a few cases of beer and even flown to Montreal thinking I said I would be in Canada and not Africa. Oops tiny mistake on your part. But alas I’m back and I’ve missed SOOO much but UC and the crew here have kindly filled me in but as luck would have it I made it home just in time to Break Down THE PICTURE from what is now being dubbed Moantreal. Yea, you’re up there kissing on ol Stew. Some welcome back. THANKS A LOT.

The one where they just won’t let us forget
UC: okay well, should we DO this!?
Moon: YES lets DO THIS… so what the HALE has been happening since I’ve been gone. I’m mildly interested.
UC: ha…i’m barely interested…well,i feel like i need to research to remember what happened last week and since it’s SO timely i feel like we need to just discuss the biggest news since Taylor found out he resembles an Alpaca….The Robsten kiss outside of a Montreal House party
Moon: oh god im already sad… outside a house party?! they really are forever 17
UC: otherwise known as……. “I always open mouth kiss my lover before heading into a party- oh wait look there’s a photographer oops i hope they didn’t catch me!” Otherwise known as… They knew the photographer was there.
Moon: otherwise known as everyone was starting to forget about robsten/twilight/new moon/eclipse/throwing money down the toilet and making summit rich, LOOK THERES A CAMERA!!
UC: and.. Moon this is the best part you can see TOM STU standing there. THEY MADE OUT in front of TOM STU!!!
Moon: They ARE stuck in high school! this is what happens parents when you let your children be actors too soon. they miss out on formative things like making out in front of a house party in high school and now theyre forced to do it while the world is watching
c

UC: Now let’s clarify lest the Robsteners call us those who think Robsten is a PR-ploy…. I do NOT think that. I do however 100% think they knew there was a camera there. NO ONE OPEN MOUTH KISSES before going in a party.. and in front of Tom stu… unless you’re over it and want to be caught
UC: so.. good for them… they’re OUT. and I don’t know about you…. but I felt the magicness emanating from their open mouth kiss
Moon: i still have not seen the open mouth party kiss. should i open it now?
UC: oh you haven’t seen!? omg this will be epic yes. please Open…. if i Had time I’d make you a video… with the pictures and the hallelujah chorus playing but… that would take me 3 minutes and i really don’t have 3 minutes to give to robsten from here on out known as “open-mouth-kissing-sten”
c
c

The one where I finally see IT
Moon: wait what are all those dots?! did some crazy robstener pop out from a bush nearby with confetti and threw it into the air when they started kissing?
UC: yes, that’s exactly what I did. i Mean what they did
Moon: then a disco ball fell from the ceiling, a publishers clearing house person walked out with a big check and kool and gang played Celebration?
UC: And it started snowing. IN august that’s what the magicness does changes the seasons
Moon: THATS the power of robsten
UC: effs with Mother Nature
Moon: and their magicness… they ARE mother nature
Moon: wow this is was underwhelming
UC: hahhaa sorry- did I build it up too much?i mean.. .can you actually tell that there is liplocking? or are they just holding each other close? teaching tomStu how to do it- there’s a girl inside he’s hoping to get stuck in the closet with for 7 min. in heaven
Moon: its just not what i imagined… but i guess real life kissing cant compare to the fireplace and the bearskin rug in my fantasies, i mean the lemony fan fic i write, i mean the delusions in my brain

follow the cut as we figure out if they’re kissing or not, what kind of camera the paparazzi were using and what fabric is only allowed to touch Rob’s skin
Continue…

228 Commented


Robward, oh Robward…where art thou my Robward?

Juliet explains her Rob obsession in terms we can understand: Robward and the word “ho-baggish.” Preach on sister…

Oh heeeeeyyy there

Dearest LTR,

I am a newbie to the Twilight “religion” (cherry popped in February of this year), and a lurker on your site and am so thankful I have found you because over the course of the last 5 months I have found that not only has the series consumed my entire being, but so has Robward. Yes that’s right, Robward. I have found that I can’t love one without the other therefore in my mind I had to morph them into a single beautiful being.

The reason that I can’t love one without the other is simple, to love only Rob would mean that I am into a quirky man who is in fact sexy in his own right, but owns only one pair of pants that he sags (see recent pics of surprising theater goers below),

wears shoes without laces or socks (see recent twitpic you posted of him outside of sambradly show),

only washes his hair on special occasions and holidays, smokes 3 packs a day and has the diet of a frat boy living on only hot-pockets and beer. And to love only Edward would mean that I am into a man who may or may not have bi-polar disorder (the Hillywood production of the Twilight parody comes to mind when I think of him to the tune of Katy Perry’s Hot n Cold), can only be described as beautiful because he in fact does “sparkle like diamonds”, he has an intense desire to kill me, and he is so sweet and sappy he make me as a goody-two-shoes-girl look uncivilized and ho-baggish with all his “courting” talk. So with this said, I have morphed them into one beautiful/sexy perfect man.

No socks, with shoes? No problem!

My Robward is everything I expect a man to be, but better. He has a messy side as expected, but showers on a daily basis therefore he smells delicious and not like a trash can and ash-tray, he is exceptionally well dressed like Edward minus the tweed, but has the disheveled hair-do like Rob, only it’s clean like Edwards. He likes pizza and beer, but only on occasion and he knows how to be sensitive, but is not a pansy. He is respectful but has a wild side that tends to come out, and leg hitching, pillow biting, and headboard destruction may or may not take place. He stands up and fights for his girl, but is not pushed around by her or guilted into things, and he is not afraid to tell the world he is in love (in a manly way of course), and does not hide it either because of embarrassment or obligation to a production company (cough…ROBSTEN…cough, cough). He dotes on his significant other, but is also extremely grounded. He has the ruggedness of Rob, but the charm and hygene practices of Edward (although it never does state if they take showers or not. We do know he at least changes his clothes daily).

You just can't resist me and I know it...

So as you can see, I simply can’t just love Rob without Edward being in the mix. Could you imagine loving Rob if he didn’t play Edward? Could you imagine loving Edward if he wasn’t played by Rob, but someone like, Zac Effron? If you saw Rob walking down the street as he is now (or prior to the haircut for Water for Elephants) do you think you would want to run your fingers through his greasy hair or want to take a picture with him knowing he probably hasn’t showered in a week and is wearing clothes he either stole from a set or picked up at a thrift store or pawned from a homeless guy?? We wouldn’t love Zac Effron the same because unfortunately, he was in High School Music and that just makes him seem a little too…metro for my liking. We love Rob as Edward because that’s all we know him as. Of course he was Cederic Diggory in Harry Potter, but who remembers him while he was going through that odd adolescent phase where his head was disproportionately large for his body? We know and love him as Edward.

It is these things that make me think that everyone of us is in fact holding onto our own version of Robward, and that is why we follow his every move, and that is what makes my rationalization “normal”. Because I recognize these things. Right?

Robward is my Romeo,

Juliet

UH DUH Juliet it’s all that stuff, right? All the Rob and the Edward stuff rolled into one. Right? What say you guys? Do you want just the Rob stuff, or is it a little bit of the Edward allure? And seriously can we talk about these new pictures?? Wowza…

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

98 Commented


MTV Movie Awards – My blinking heart crotch beats only for Rob

(Welcome to our new digs!! This is LTR, have a look around and update your bookmarks!)

Dear Rob,

The MTV movie awards started off with such promise…

This happened…

You and Taylor kicking ass in a fake movie with a BLONDE handlebar mustache!


MTV could have just stopped the show after this, really how could it have gone up from here? MTV blew their wad in the first 5 seconds… Time to get some TV Viagra MTV, so you can last for the WHOLE 93254902348 hours this show drags on.

Didn’t see it live?

Also kudos to MTV for resurrecting a movie character over 2 years old as the main character for half the bits they played. Len Grossman?? Way to stay current folks! Who ever said you gous lost touch with pop culture? Speaking of, what about that Len Grossman (Tom Cruise) slash Jennifer Lopez performance, huh?! Another banner moment in irrelevancy for the night.

Follow the cut to see Rob win some awards, some other stuff happens and we have a GIVEAWAY!!
Continue…

311 Commented


And the winner is…

Thanks to Wal-mart for this cool shizz

Thanks to Wal-mart for this cool shizz

Dear everyone who entered our most recent contest,

We randomly picked one of our readers who left a comment with a song that reminded her of Twilight, and a Twilight Party-Pack, courtesy of Wal-mart, is on its way to her as we speak.

Congratulations to: Briar Rose!!

Her comment was: “My nomination is Obsession by Animotion. I will now go take a cold shower. . . ”

Congrats, Briar Rose!

We had so much fun reading all the songs that remind you of Twi (or Rob- there were tons of those too!) and there was a definite pattern of songs or artists that kept popping up as suggestions:

  • “Strange & Beautiful” Aqualung
  • “Love Story” by Taylor Swift
  • “Thinking of You” by Katy Perry
  • “Almost Love” A Fine Frenzy
  • All songs EVER by Muse!
  • “Sex on Fire” Kings of Leon (I wonder why….!)

We picked the winner 100% randomly and not by our favorite suggestion, but here were some of our favorites:

  • Closer Kings of Leon
  • My Body is a Cage The Arcade Fire
  • Creep Radiohead (cuz you always need a song that Thom Yorke wrote about masterbating)
  • I will follow you in the Dark Death Cab for Cutie (This is inscribed in the inside of UC’s hubby’s wedding band)
  • Blood Bank Bon Iver (UC’s suggestion)
  • Breathe Me Sia (rumored to be a great choice for New Moon)
  • No one’s gonna love you Band of Horses

We’re gonna leave you with that last song, just because we feel like it and we run the blog, so we’re the boss(es). You’ll love it.

Thanks again to EVERYONE who entered! And congrats to Briar Rose! XOXO
Love, Us

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93OTv6Cjk6U]

22 Commented


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