Robward, oh Robward…where art thou my Robward?

Juliet explains her Rob obsession in terms we can understand: Robward and the word “ho-baggish.” Preach on sister…

Oh heeeeeyyy there

Dearest LTR,

I am a newbie to the Twilight “religion” (cherry popped in February of this year), and a lurker on your site and am so thankful I have found you because over the course of the last 5 months I have found that not only has the series consumed my entire being, but so has Robward. Yes that’s right, Robward. I have found that I can’t love one without the other therefore in my mind I had to morph them into a single beautiful being.

The reason that I can’t love one without the other is simple, to love only Rob would mean that I am into a quirky man who is in fact sexy in his own right, but owns only one pair of pants that he sags (see recent pics of surprising theater goers below),

wears shoes without laces or socks (see recent twitpic you posted of him outside of sambradly show),

only washes his hair on special occasions and holidays, smokes 3 packs a day and has the diet of a frat boy living on only hot-pockets and beer. And to love only Edward would mean that I am into a man who may or may not have bi-polar disorder (the Hillywood production of the Twilight parody comes to mind when I think of him to the tune of Katy Perry’s Hot n Cold), can only be described as beautiful because he in fact does “sparkle like diamonds”, he has an intense desire to kill me, and he is so sweet and sappy he make me as a goody-two-shoes-girl look uncivilized and ho-baggish with all his “courting” talk. So with this said, I have morphed them into one beautiful/sexy perfect man.

No socks, with shoes? No problem!

My Robward is everything I expect a man to be, but better. He has a messy side as expected, but showers on a daily basis therefore he smells delicious and not like a trash can and ash-tray, he is exceptionally well dressed like Edward minus the tweed, but has the disheveled hair-do like Rob, only it’s clean like Edwards. He likes pizza and beer, but only on occasion and he knows how to be sensitive, but is not a pansy. He is respectful but has a wild side that tends to come out, and leg hitching, pillow biting, and headboard destruction may or may not take place. He stands up and fights for his girl, but is not pushed around by her or guilted into things, and he is not afraid to tell the world he is in love (in a manly way of course), and does not hide it either because of embarrassment or obligation to a production company (cough…ROBSTEN…cough, cough). He dotes on his significant other, but is also extremely grounded. He has the ruggedness of Rob, but the charm and hygene practices of Edward (although it never does state if they take showers or not. We do know he at least changes his clothes daily).

You just can't resist me and I know it...

So as you can see, I simply can’t just love Rob without Edward being in the mix. Could you imagine loving Rob if he didn’t play Edward? Could you imagine loving Edward if he wasn’t played by Rob, but someone like, Zac Effron? If you saw Rob walking down the street as he is now (or prior to the haircut for Water for Elephants) do you think you would want to run your fingers through his greasy hair or want to take a picture with him knowing he probably hasn’t showered in a week and is wearing clothes he either stole from a set or picked up at a thrift store or pawned from a homeless guy?? We wouldn’t love Zac Effron the same because unfortunately, he was in High School Music and that just makes him seem a little too…metro for my liking. We love Rob as Edward because that’s all we know him as. Of course he was Cederic Diggory in Harry Potter, but who remembers him while he was going through that odd adolescent phase where his head was disproportionately large for his body? We know and love him as Edward.

It is these things that make me think that everyone of us is in fact holding onto our own version of Robward, and that is why we follow his every move, and that is what makes my rationalization “normal”. Because I recognize these things. Right?

Robward is my Romeo,

Juliet

UH DUH Juliet it’s all that stuff, right? All the Rob and the Edward stuff rolled into one. Right? What say you guys? Do you want just the Rob stuff, or is it a little bit of the Edward allure? And seriously can we talk about these new pictures?? Wowza…

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

98 Commented


We can't say good-bye to the Oscars quite yet

Dear Rob,

I know you were gagging while complimenting Zac & Vanessa on their performance in HSM3 (good job pretending you’ve even heard of it- and props to the quick thinking on behalf of your manager, Nick, for giving you a heads up)

We all know you were really just wanting to wanting to tell Vanessa “Fabulous performance tonight, but you’re still no Leah…”

And instead of joking with Zac about your matching bow ties, we know you just wanted to give him some pointers on having sex with a co-star. “Dude, I just hit it and ran…why you hitting it and sticking around?”

'Hit it and run. That's how I roll'

'Hit it and run. That's how I roll'

Speaking of co-stars you’ve hit and run from, was it awkward seeing PapaStew (Kristen’s dad) at all? You guys seemed pretty casual.

JStew: "Then you're gonna say 'This is Hollywood, got it?" Rob: "Got it" JStew: "Now Rob, did you fool around with my daughter while shooting Twilight?" Rob: "Uh, what? I mean, ye- no, what did you hear? huh? did Michael say somet... did she like it? I mean, did she say something? Does she want a round 2? Wait, what's the question?" AND ACTION Rob: "This is Hollywood"

Love,
Us

We keep thinking we’re retiring the Oscars. Then we remember how damn hot you looked and decide to bring it out of retirement.

In other news, happy 26th birthday to one of our first blog readers and UC’s in-real-life friend MushroomMexLover. In honor of your birthday, Mex, I am sharing with the world my favorite quotes you have ever said about Rob or Twilight.

At the end of an e-mail to me about a party we were attending. p.s.  please bring rob.  i’m planning on wearing my blue blouse that clings to my frame.

um so today i was telling the guy I started dating how i sometimes have a hard time reading him…. it went something like this:
“i’m usually very good at reading people…with just one exception.”

i met my future in-laws today.  still didn’t meet alice…i mean trish (his sister).  his father is so compassionate and his mother incredibly loving.  just like another couple i know….

he also has a brother that can alter the moods of others.

Love you MushroomMexlover. Happy Birthday!

We got a whole slew of Oscar-related letters sent to us after Sunday and decided to post the highlights after the jump.

Continue…

543 Commented


Hi this is reality, have we met?

It's official I swear!

It's official I swear!

Dear Rob Fans-

http://www.myspace.com/robertpattinsonofficial

This is fake.

DUH.

I mean have you all learned nothing from THE great Facebook debacle of ’08 or from the poor girls over at The Fan Project (protecting the world from fake Robert Pattinsons)? Learn from the ones who have gone before you and got fooled by fake Rob’s and figured out that gulliable really IS in the dictionary… if not I’ve put together this handy little check list that shows you the things that should have tipped you off as to the realness of this myspace…

1. The HUGE “Official Myspace” banner at the top. Cause he had the time or chops to make that? Enjoy the font though, looks familiar. 😀

2. His location is listed as: Beverly Hills, CA. No he does not live in the 90210, I’m sure the 12 yr old who made this thinks that all movie stars live in “glamorous” Beverly Hills. They do not.

3. He has a music player with HIS two songs from the Twilight soundtrack.

4. He has a Giydget and and Eventful for crying out loud… why in the world would the real Rob care what city you want to see him in or to post random Twilight videos and ringtones? If I didn’t know better I’d say ‘Rob’ worked in social media marketing on the side.

5. He “blogs” about that fan contest and then gives out an address to send him fan letters. Attention whore!

7. His profile pic is an official image! DUH!

8. The kicker and the ‘should have known better’ he includes WALLPAPERS and AIM icons of himself

9. His top friends include people like: Selena Gomez and Amanda Bynes and Zac Efron. He is a 22 yr old man not a 10 yr old girl who watches Wizards of Waverly Place

Seriously people. He will never have any sort of social networking site and if he does you will not find it.

Now read a book or something, geez.

Your older, wiser “sister”/fan
Me

11 Commented


I told them to stop that…

Dear Rob,

robandsomeotherguys Sorry, I told them to stop it, but the media struck again.

This time you were called a “Hunk of 2008.” I mean, you are (and you were in 2007-1986, as well) but you should really be alone in this pic. Or at least with someone in the same CLASS as you. Someday they will listen to me…

(found this on Robert Pattinson Life (where I usually check for the latest and greatest on you!)

K, gotta get back to work. Loves!

Add Comments


Congrats, smarty-pants!

Dear Rob,

I read something today that said you did well on your A-level exams (despite the fact that you missed 4 months of school and only had 2 weeks of catch-up time) You got one A and two B’s. Great job!

What are A-level exams? Are they like the PSSAs? I took those in grades 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 11 and I believe I kicked ass, just like you (especially in 3rd grade- I’m great at multiplication). Oh- I know.. you’re from Britain, so they’re probably like the O.W.L.’s, right?

See, I KNEW you were different. The media is trying to compare you (or at least contrast you) with people like Zac Efron or the Jonas Brothers.  I read these things and I think, “Really? You’re putting the Jonas Brothers and Zac Efron in the same sentence as Rob? MY ROB?”

I apologize for this HUGE mistake. I don’t know if Zachy or the Joney Bros did well on their PSSAs (or the Cali & homeschool equivalants), but you should NEVER even be put NEAR the same category they are in, let alone IN it! Ugh, the horror..

You’re older than all those boys by at least a year and 1/2.  You do great movies unlike Efron’s lame-o musicals (and I love musicals). Your musical taste kicks ass while THIS is Efron’s (and the Jonas Brothers admit they like John Mayer- yeah, ‘you’re body is a wonderland’ brings back good mems of making out with the boyf in college, but no one actually ADMITS to liking him!)

Seriously, these people need to STOP with the rediculous comparisons. NO ONE compares to you! xo

Robbie Greater Than Joney and Efron

(are the Joney Bros even with Zac in that picture? Or is that just some guy who looks exactly like him?)

PS: Also- the Jonas brothers wear purity rings.  Now I’m not suggesting that you’re not pure… actually, on second thought, that would totally ruin my image of you, so yes, I AM suggesting you’re not “pure.” And if you are… I know someone who can help you out with that, er… problem.

Add Comments


Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTR Privacy Policy



Sponsored by