Addicted and Robsessed

(join us for a letter of confession about Beaspoon’s addiction and we’ll meet in the comment for RA – Robaholics Anonymous. xo-moon)

What were you saying.. something about addicted?

Dear Rob,

Have you ever watched that show “Addicted” on TLC? Probably not, I don’t really take you for a reality television watcher, but judging by the title you can probably guess what it’s about. Addicts dealing with drug or alcohol problems go on the show to work with a drug counselor or go into rehab and try to get their lives back. I watched this show and couldn’t help myself, but the entire time I was thinking about you. Not because YOU need to go into rehab or have an addition problem or anything like that, but because I have an addiction problem. I’m pretty much addicted to you.

I’m not like one of those crazy teenage girls who stalks you at your premieres and film sights, oh no. I think I might even be worse than they are because at least their addiction is out in the open. They’re screaming your name and are wearing Team Edward shirts and have Edward pillowcases that they sleep on and they swoon over you with their friends. It’s a group affair. It’s fun. It’s not what I’m going through at all.

At least this isn't an episode of Hoarders... that's gotta be the bright side, right?

I’m a closet addict, Rob. Not even my husband, the person who I spend nearly all of my spare time with, knows the extent of my addiction. And the worst part is that I don’t even really know how it happened. Somehow, sometime over the past year since I discovered you, I’ve started needing little hits of you to make it through my day. I’ve tried to be strong, Rob, really. Some mornings I wake up and I feel powerful and I say to myself, “No! I will not even turn ON my laptop today. No Rob for me!” and then an hour or two later I am biting my nails, and by lunchtime I convince myself that I should probably at least check my e-mail. I fire up my laptop and just barely peak at the picture of you on my wallpaper–I swear. But then the kids are napping and I am all alone and that’s when the frenzy hits. And I just can’t help myself, I am shamelessly clicking on all my favorite Rob-sites, drooling over your latest pics and reading my fanfic updates. Then I feel ok again, calm and happy, and I put away my computer, and it starts all over again. Watching the clock and waiting for bedtime so I can get my next fix.

More addicted to me than ALCOHOL? NO!! How can that be?

I’ve never been addicted to drugs or alcohol, thankfully, and I am sure that my addiction to you pales in comparison, Rob. But really, maybe they SHOULD make a show for people like me. Or at least a support group- although I wonder if I could find anyone to be my sponsor if I started attending Roboholics Anonymous meetings? Maybe we could just all sit around and look at pictures of you and….wait, not helping. Crap, I think it’s time for another hit, excuse me while I peruse the WFE blog…

Craving You and (still) Crazily Yours,

Big hand to Beaspoon and altogether now…. THAT’S NORMAL!! Also… Bea, you have us. You’re not alone, ever! So do you feel addicted and even worse a closet addict because you don’t share your Robsession with anyone?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

75 Commented

Rob’s Mailbag: Our Intern answers his mail

Dear Rob- Since we run twi blogs dedicated to writing letters every day, we’re pretty busy and we need help from time to time. So that’s why we’ve enlisted you as our trusty LTR intern. We need someone to do all the grunt work we’re too busy to do. Like making manicure appointments, photoshopping you into compromising positions with your BFF’s, keeping the shelves stocked with nutritious food (Gin) and answering your mail. And now that you’re in LA it’s much easier for you to clock at least 40 hours a week in the offices (my bedroom). Thanks for tackling some of the mail in your mailbag, it was beginning to get in the way of UC’s back issues of Cat Fancy. Thx- Your Boss (moon)

Get me a coffee!

Dear Robert Pattinson,

You are such a great actor, your such a talented man. It may sound creepy but I think about you every day. I think about how cool it would be to meet you. My parents say your really busy and probably never could, but I always have hope! I’m not one of those fans that would scream your name so much your eardrums would blow, because I really do care about you, even though I don’t personally know you. I always sit in my room and think “How am I supposed to meet him, or even talk to him?” But now I know maybe ‘Letters to Rob” would help me with it!!!! When people ask me if I’m on Team Edward or Team Jacob, I say of course Team Edward!!!! But I feel bad because most people are on Team Jacob because of looks? i think your actually the better looking one. ( No offence to Taylor.) And I want you to always know that you have a fan like me, that likes you for who you are.(:

– I love you Robert Pattinson <3 please write back!!!!

This is all they want from me, Morgan

Dear Morgan,

Your parents are wrong. Learn this lesson now. I am not too busy to write you back. In fact it’s quite the opposite, I’m just supposed to look important and busy. But in actuality these bitches here have me busy answering your emails and getting them cupcakes and filing their nails for them while they watch Ryan Gosling movies on repeat.

Besides Moon and UC holding a squirt gun filled with Gin to my head and yelling that this is “me time” so I need to reply to their emails in silence with my shirt off. Who knows why, I stopped asking after having to take 5 showers one day from all the Gin bathes they gave me. Hell, I know I said I don’t shower often but I drive like a blind grandma as it is, I don’t need a DUI when the cop pulls me over because because my clothes are drenched in dry Gin.

All this to say I really wanted to write you back to thank you for NOT screaming at events. Recently on a trip to Costco (Moon and UC needed more Gin, a half gallon pump top of Pantene, life with your legs, and a wholesale size box of Mint Milanos) I had my hearing tested in that booth next to the eye glasses and they told me that I had the hearing of 65 year old man. So essentially because of being a Vampire I now have the hearing equivalent of my dad. So thank you for keeping it under a dull roar if you ever saw me.

Thanks for being who YOU are Morgan!

PS Show your Team Jacob friends the Alpaca picture next time they’re talking about who’s hotter, Edward or Jacob. That’ll show them! TRUST ME!

1. What is it like when you kiss kirstin, what do you feel?
2. Are You Really Dating?

-jack bates

Like kissing this thing. Maybe.

Dear Jack,

1. Like I’m kissing a big loquat crumble right on the mouth. Or like licking an oil slick at the Jiffy Lube. Or maybe it’s like kissing any other costar I have (see #2!)
2. You above all people should know that the allure of KristEN and I is in the mystery of whether we’re together or not. You care so much you’re emailing these girls who blog about me hoping that me, their intern will tell you the truth about Rob and KristEN. But I just can’t do that man then you’ll stop wondering about #1 and we just can’t have that now, can we?

Kristen’s boyfriend/costar/fuckbuddy/I’ll never tell Rob

Do you have a letter for Rob that he needs to answer? Email him here! Or you can just email us a letter ABOUT Rob. Our Intern. What other intern task should he be doing? Crank faxing Nick & Stephanie?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

114 Commented

MTV Movie Awards – My blinking heart crotch beats only for Rob

(Welcome to our new digs!! This is LTR, have a look around and update your bookmarks!)

Dear Rob,

The MTV movie awards started off with such promise…

This happened…

You and Taylor kicking ass in a fake movie with a BLONDE handlebar mustache!

MTV could have just stopped the show after this, really how could it have gone up from here? MTV blew their wad in the first 5 seconds… Time to get some TV Viagra MTV, so you can last for the WHOLE 93254902348 hours this show drags on.

Didn’t see it live?

Also kudos to MTV for resurrecting a movie character over 2 years old as the main character for half the bits they played. Len Grossman?? Way to stay current folks! Who ever said you gous lost touch with pop culture? Speaking of, what about that Len Grossman (Tom Cruise) slash Jennifer Lopez performance, huh?! Another banner moment in irrelevancy for the night.

Follow the cut to see Rob win some awards, some other stuff happens and we have a GIVEAWAY!!

311 Commented

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