You know how often Moon & I complain about how behind we are on our email correspondence & apologize to everyone who writes us because we feel so bad? We hate not being able to respond to everyone and we truly do try to write everyone back, eventually. Of course I bet no one believes me because I never believe that when I hear other people say it. HOWEVER, today we’re going to hear from a girl who sent us a letter on May 31st of this year. Almost FIVE months ago. For almost 5 months this email sat, waiting to be acknowledged in our inbox, and last night, it finally was. I’m sure by now it’s author hates us for being so rude for 5 months, but we’ll ignore that fact.
PS: Moon has been away with family & I miss her terribly & we haven’t been able to connect. That’s why we haven’t written YOU personally lately. Also you are lame and have been MIA except for 1 tweet about you biking around LSUs campus which is obbbvvviously not true because #1- biking requires exercise & eating hot pockets 24/7 kinda cuts into exercise time. And #2: I just have a feeling you don’t know how to ride a bike. Unless it had training wheels. Which just gave me a major Cullen Smile to think about.. so I’m going to keep focusing on that idea- you on training wheels biking around LSU. In a huge-ass helmet.
How I fell for Rob
I wanted to write and tell you how I fell for you. But then I realized it was pretty much like everyone else. I watched Goblet of Fire and thought, “cute kid, shame he had to die.” I saw Vanity Fair with Reese and… Oops! Sorry to bring that up! I rented it and did not watch the deleted scenes. (I know, I was a bad girl. But, needless to say I’ve seen them now!) Anyways, then I read Twilight. I was Team Edward! And then I heard that little Cedric Diggory was gonna play Edward and thought, “oh, please. That kid!” (I had forgotten that you should have grown up since I was already “grown up.”) So, I saw the movie in the theater…still Team Edward. And then the turning point for me- I bought Twilight on DVD. Only on the pretense that the next movies were gonna be better! Oh, and the reason that I bought the 3 disc version…it was on sale! So, then I watched the DVD extras…Team ROB!!!!!!!! That’s when you won me over. With your humbleness and adorkability, your accent and your ability to play both guitar AND piano! But, that’s pretty boring. So, let me tell you how I wish I fell for you…
Let’s go back to the days when you were filming Twilight in Portland and I was living about 20 mins away. (That part is true!) One day I decided to head over to Powell’s Bookstore for some new reads. While walking along the aisles looking at the covers of my new books, I tripped over some long and lanky legs. You, Rob picked them up and handed them to me looking intensely into my eyes. “Hey, are you wearing contacts?” I ask, “because you have the weirdest looking yellow eyes.” “Yeah, ” you say, “I’m an actor and I’m embracing my character.” We then get into a convo about acting and how I used to do theater in high school. You invite me out for coffee and we talk for ages. So, I leave my husband before he leaves me. (Unfortunately true again.) And we live happily ever after before the Mullephant sinks her bull hook into you!
So yeah, that didn’t happen unfortunately. And now here I am writing you this letter that you will (hopefully) never see! I’ve entered into every contest trying to catch a glimpse of you in person and even went to the Open Casting Call for Water For Elephants!! (Another dream that didn’t come true!) You’ve reverted me back to the days of my only other crush- Mark-Paul Gosselar! (Sorry, not a NKOTB fan!) You know you watched the reruns of Saved By The Bell, Rob! Or at least the College Years- don’t admit if you watched SBTB The New Class! And you are a much better catch, although he was in that band Zack Attack!!
Well anyways, I’m not giving up on my dreams so you’d better watch out! But, I promise to be a well-behaved fangirl- at first!
Your Future Mate
Keep sending us your letters- even if it takes us 5 months, we WILL respond. Unless you’re a “Grandmother who desires to meet Edward Cullen” like that email we got yesterday. That one will just get posted on my Facebook wall for all to poke fun of.
Tags: , Fan letter, how I fell for Rob, Rob, Rob Pattinson, robert pattinson