Where do we sign, Rob?

Been awhile? Pause the ads. They stop. PROMISE

Dear Rob,

I saw some pictures of you on a surf board accompanied by an oar. I did think it was just a little odd that there was not another single soul in sight; but hey maybe you bought an island or something. And since I’m still in utter denial over this “Robsten thing” I’ve had to resort to “back in the day” Rob stuff.

“I’m mumbling in my roommm”

My ONLY girlfriend in real life who (sort of understands my twisted obsession with you) asked me an interesting question. What music would be playing if you and I were hanging out? I figured I would answer the obvious (but did it oh so non-nonchalantly of course) “Pffft, Heavy Blues, DUH” And I looked at her all “you’re so not in my Rob Circle” way.

Then today I was listening to you on the Twilight soundtrack.. (yes it’s a daily thing don’t judge) And Rob, this is some crazy shit right here…but I recognized that I was singing along and actually saying the right words. As you well know Rob, this can only be accomplished by the truly Robsessed. Which leaves me to a bit of constructive cristsm.. I honestly can’t remember what my first reaction was when I heard you sing for the first time Rob. However the fact that I could only understand 1 out of every 5 words rings in my mind crystal clear. [UC NOTE: Yep. We call that “the Mumbles”

I WANTED to understand. So, like everyone else, I stopped and re-winded and stopped and re-winded my CD player and listened with the volume turned all the way up… then stopped and re-winded. BUT.. fast-forward to present day and I’m all kinds of pissed off when my non-twihard friends (that would be everyone except the ONE I mentioned earlier) can’t understand you singing. What can I say? I’m seasoned I guess.

Anyhoo, it took me a few months before I even knew you were the voice behind “Let Me SIgn” Now don’t get offended here Rob. That song is a monster to understand and it’s only 2 minutes long! Why is it that you mumble 5,6,10 words in a row and then sing one that is understood? My God Rob, Is it possible that there is a person in the fandom that DOESN’T KNOW??
Well never fear Rob, because I’ve come to a perfectly acceptable conclusion. I’ve decided that since you are playing whatever instrument that goes along with the song (in this case acoustic guitar) you’re so passionate that the words just flow like that. Simple isn’t it? And really who cares because you know we’re all going to listen to it until we understand every word (or at least google it and read along..And yes, we’ve ALL done that too.) Nobody has been able to catch every song with virgin ears.. NOBODY.

Is there a point? Of course.. and although it’s been overkilled by my ranting, I want to change my answer to: I would be listening to whatever your playing on the guitar and listening to your unrecognizable words. Because the truth is, I really don’t care, I like it all. awwwww… I know you’re blushing right now.

BUT…just in case you ever decide to polish up on your musical talent.

Here are the lyrics to Let Me SIgn:

She was standing there by the broken tree
Her hands were all twisted she was pointing at me
I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes
She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky
She said ‘Come on over to the bitter shade,
I will wrap you in my arms and you’ll know you’ve been saved’
Let me sign, let me sign

I found the link on you tube for a little memory refresher..


Okay and Rob, here’s what I hear:

By, Broken tree, hands are all twisted,
She’s pointin at me. I”ll stand by light comin
All I see spoken a voicen struct to the sky.
She said roll oh over yeah ta pillow shade.
I will wrap you in my on and on..
let me sign..
let me sign..


I bet if everyone at LTR listened to this song and read my lyrics you would all be like.. DA-FUK?? It’s spot on.

That’s all Rob… Didn’t want you to think I forgot about you over here.


After the Jumping Rob.. we have something special and NSFW


17 Commented

A Faux-Rob Pattinson sings on video

Today’s post has videos. So if you’re ignored our 1200 reminders previously, you can MUTE the video ads (2 in the side, 3 all the way at the bottom!) Press the volume button. They’ll stay muted!

Dear Rob,

Maybe it’s because we’re in a MAJOR Rob slump or maybe it’s because I’ve had a few glasses of wine, but I laughed WAY TOO HARD at these two videos of a guy (pretty cute guy, if I might add) mocking you.

#1: He sounds remarkably like you when you’re doing the “mumbles” (aka singing)

#2: I mean.. You had that haircut once

#3: He puts STARS on his face in the Meadow

#4: He’s actually a good guitar player & singer

#5: He kinda looks like a less-moley version of Sam Bradley

#6: I had a few glasses of wine (did I already mention that?)

I missed this one back in 2010

This is a new release from December & features a cameo from “Kristen Stewart”

You’re laughing, right?

Mostly these videos reminded me of how long it’s been since I’ve seen the original Twilight and/or listened to the soundtrack. So then I found this:


Real Rob singing plus hot pictures? Yes please!

Happy Friday to us all!


Big thanks to LadyN for sending the 1st two videos in to us!!! XO

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

20 Commented

Rob Pattinson: Platinum selling artist or critic’s punching bag?

This means it's basically a done deal!

Dear Rob,

When Moon & I read the headlines about your rumored “album” yesterday, we decided we MUST Break this rumor down:

The one where we break it down in a serious(ish) way

UC: Can we please role play a Rob Pattinson album. since that’s the rumor. Even Rolling STONE Posted about it, so it MUST be legit (4 out of 10 on the “Truth Scale” from Rob-Cop, I mean, Gossip-Cop)

Moon: an impeccable Pattinson insider tells Gossip Cop, “He is not.” Well thank you, impeccable Pattinson insider! How do I get to be one of THOSE? And from the comments”If he wanted to work on music, he would be there, not in LA. Wouldn’t he want to record at Abbey Road or the studio Marcus Foster, Johnny Flynn and Mumford and Sons use?” because they only have ONE studio in london and it is abbey road
UC: hahahahahhaha people are SO dumb

Reminds me of a Sad Keanu

Moon: can you imagine though? i mean really…. an album?
UC: NO!! [LTT-friend] Marah & I were discussing it & I think he wouldn’t do it
Moon: yea hasn’t he said in the past he wouldn’t?
UC: I forget. Wish I had the phone # of the impeccable Pattinson Insider. But, I mean… he HAS to know no one legit in the music world would take it seriously. I don’t think they would… at all I would LOVE to read that pitchfork review!!!
Moon: oh god! here’s the thing… he’s pretty decent. i mean as far as all these people who think they are musicians, he’s not terrible and it’s not gross pop-rock crap- like it’s thoughtful enough, but actors who want to be musicians hardly EVER work out like 99.99999% of the time they FAIL. Hard
Moon: i mean Keanu reeves, russell crow, Lieutenant Dan and the Lieutenant Dan band, Puck from Glee, Minnie Driver, Jenn love Hewitt,
UC: Puck from Glee!!!! Do you keep a running list?
Moon: i mean the free bins at amoeba are lined with cds from actors
UC: You forgot Sandy cohen!
Moon: if you START as a musician your odds are way better of becoming an actor… which leads to a lot of questions about acting but ya know

Better, Good, WORST

The one where we pick on Sam

UC: Marah made a good point… she doesn’t think he’s any better than most of the Brit pack…she thinks maybe a few of them are even better (definitely more refined as in– you can understand them) and while they have some success it’s not like…. really successful- i mean.. ask anyone outside of twilight and the public radio station in Philly that LOVES bobby long, no one knows of them
Moon: totally. i think Marcus is the best of them all
UC: yes- i agree. Bobby is 2nd.
Moon: pRobably followed by bobby and Rob and then sam in dead last
UC: Poor Sam. but it’s true!!!
Moon: And I’m sure tom is better than him
UC: I’d say that it’s Marcus, Bobby, Rob, Tom (who we don’t even know if he can carry a tune) Sam
Moon: exactly tom could just show up somewhere with a guitar and pRobably be better- now if Rob wanted to WRITE some songs like he’s done in the past- I’m ALL for it… and theres more money in that anyway. And he NEEDS money
UC: but WAIT didn’t he co-write all those songs before???
Moon: he did
UC: That’s what Marah & I were saying… so… we don’t know how much was actually his doing. Maybe it was more marcus/bobby/sam……doing the writing? (wait, not Sam!!!)
Moon: i think he should continue in that direction if he needs a musical outlet
UC: yes… co writing…..
UC: SIDENOTE: Do you think it’s weird that Rob has never mentioned Marcus Mumford? I mean.. they are london musician/celebrities…. there are like 4 of them…. I’m pretty sure they must hate each other. There’s NO other explanation. Maybe once they fought over Cho Chan

The one with UC’s “private time”

Moon: I mean don’t get me wrong I’d LOVE LOVE to hear what album Rob would come out with. but i don’t want any one else, read: critics to hear it
UC: ME NEITHER. I’d just like it for my private time. I MEAN my alone time… no wait.. alone with my THOUGHTS.. or maybe my bath time soaks
Moon: with a copy of tiger beat
UC: Okay i can’t get out of this one.. it all sounds like I’d be touching myself to him.. and for once that’s not what I mean!
Moon: don’t try to front!!! anyway my point being is that i think he’s talented and what not and i’d love to hear it but critics would be merciless and NONE of us need that
UC: NONE. It just make us feel worse about being a Rob Fan

The one with songs about Rob’s fur-children

UC: okay so let’s say we figure out a way for all the critics to disappear & he releases an album… WHAT would it have on it? what types of songs? will they all make us cry? will we even be able to understand them???
Cuz even if we can’t (which is most likely the case) I bet there will be Videos of fans CRYING over the lyrics
“that’s.. justt soooo sooo *snifff* BEAUTIFUL” Sane person: “what did he say” Crazy Fan “I don’t know… but I KNOW it’s deep”
Moon: its about Robsten! duh!! since EVERYTHING is about Robsten
UC: and Bear? Will he write a love song to Bear? their love-dog?
Moon: It’s kinda like marcus’s song ‘i was broken’ is about Robsten. even though i’m sure it was written BEFORE all this mess. it’s like he’s a prophet!!
Moon: Yes. All the songs would be about Bear & Jella. Their fur-children. VOMIT
UC: hahahah
Moon: he will want it to be a rap album since he’s secret gangsta, but it will be sad bastard, british, neo americana sound

The one where Rob is REALLY literal

UC: i think Rob has a lot of material, so maybe he’s been writing lots of songs like “the loneliness of Fame”
“I hate the paparazzi” “I’m getting tired of Vampires”
Moon: Or “my hair looks stupid like this” He’s VERY Literal
UC: “I forget where i put my soap”
Moon: “plaid is the color of my feelings”
UC: “sometimes I wish I could sleep alone” That’s a B-side- unreleased. And we don’t know- is he talking about his furry friends? [and by that I mean the animals…not Kristen after not shaving for a few weeks]
Moon: “krisbians scare me”
UC: “Robsessed girls scare me”

"I'm sad that they made me into PaperDolls"

Moon: “everyone scares me”
UC: “My dad Dick” after a nice phone call home & he’s missing the rents. “Do they really like my mole?”
after he reads that one post on Robsessed & reconsiders his trip to the dermatologist to have it removed
He just says it how it is. No beating around the bush: “Taylor scares me” written when Taylor was eating a LOT of those meat patties
Moon: “I live in Airports”
UC: “I wish I could be like him” written after admiring Kellan’s confidence with fame
Moon: “Man love isn’t wrong” dedicated to his man pals
UC: “Bt Sometimes it even creeps me out” inspired by TomStu, always creeping behind him
“Why do I jump like that” written after his half=-naked self became a meme

Oh Rob.. while we’d love an album from you in some ways, hate it (and the critics) in others, I think keeping a little bit more of yourself locked away & hidden from all of us “Impeccable Pattinson Insiders” is probably a good idea! If you bare your soul in lyrical form, what would we have to write & speculate about on LTR!?


Okay what are your thoughts? Yay or neigh on the Rob-album idea? Defend your position! Stand your ground! Laugh when you remember how I made jumping-Rob Paperdolls!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

75 Commented

Hold on to your pants, Rob’s gonna be performing music in Breaking Dawn

(Sorry I’m the victim of shoddy internet AGAIN. Thanks Time Warner! My apologies friends!!!)

Ladies, why are you all fainting?

Dear Rob,

I have a pork shoulder all ready to cook, the beginnings of a killer cheesecake and my hands smell Like bbq rub and I’m speechless. Not because I’m making a birthday dinner tonight like a grown up but because of what I just read. I’m sitting here catching up on news in your world and then I came upon this piece of news from Carter burwell who will/is scoring Breaking Dawn

(before I drop this news I want all the ladies reading to close their office door, grab an emergency edward pillow to scream into and have some smelling salts handy because trust me, you’ll need them)

According to Carter’s official site

“Carter just wrote Renesmee’s Lullaby” for Twilight Breaking Dawn 2, which Rob Pattinson will play on camera. The film will be released in November 2012

Also according to his Official Twitter Rob will be playing it on camera THIS WEEK.

*silence. Stunned silence*

I call this the "Trying not to eat you is hard blues"

Now I’m not too proud to say I may have done a little happy dance (lots of awkward hip thrusts and Brenden Fraser claps) around my kitchen when I read the news but Rob you understand. You know the draw a rockstar has. They can be the biggest sad sack on the planet but give them a guitar and a stage and ladies be trippin’ all over themselves. Then add in the fact you’re a movie star. Throw on top of that you’re the dude who plays Edward freakin Cullen and you’ve got the deadliest combination known to ladykind. We’re powerless to that kind of awesomeness. I won’t even add in the fact that you’ll be singing a lullaby to Renesmee making it Daddyward on the keys cause then we can all kiss what braincells we had left good bye. We’ll just pretend that part doesn’t happen till it happens so we can maintain some sanity.

Now I won’t ruin the moment by saying Carter Burwells Twilight score was my least favorite of the movies scores and Bellas lullaby did about nothing for me but it did give us our first glimpse of you playing the piano which oddly enough is the exact scene playing on the TV RIGHT NOW whilst I write this. Yea so if Twi or NM is on Showtime I may leave it on in the background. So sue me, I’m a fan. And I’m pretty sure we all have you singing “Never Think” and “Let Me Sign” burned into our memories.

The only thing wrong with this bit of news?? We get to torture ourselves thinking about it for another year and a half since Breaking Dawn part 2 won’t be out till November 2012. Ugh

Staring a new countdown clock… 647 Days (wow, that’s painful)

PS Kristin (mod kristin)- get ready, dust off your docs.

And just for clicks after the cut let’s listen to some Rob music


125 Commented

The Ghosts of Rob Pattinson’s Past: Part 1

Dear Rob,

I’ve been thinking a lot about you (duh) and my mind has been drifting to the past two years. Maybe it’s because our 2 year anniversary is coming up next week, or maybe it’s because I’ve been missing the old, drama-free days when life was just new pictures, new videos, new things to swoon over, new things to laugh at day after day after day. The past is fun to think about. So I decided to start a December feature focusing on the Ghost of Robert’s Past, Present & Future. OF course by “Ghost” I mean, really hot things about each of those times in your life. So today, I present: The Ghost of Robert Pattinson Past: Part one

I remember finishing the Twilight saga on vacation in 2008, and hitting the blogs, looking for info. about the books. That’s when I discovered a MOVIE was releasing in a few months. Starring…. CEDRIC:

Accio your clothes

But Cedric quickly turned into Oh my goshhhhhhhh…. that’s not Cedrrrriccc” (that’s my text-representation of the groaning noise I made in the movie theater in November of 2008) with one little scene & twitch of your mouth:

Next I experienced you in a suit for the first time while watching (or attempting to watch) the London premiere of Twilight while on my computer at work:

Never noticed it before, but I bet $10,000 you went into that Burger King after you walked the red carpet

And then Oh, no he Di’int when you cut your hair. Which I liked. Plus the guitar- Gah! Kill me

Speaking of Guitar- remember when you did those two songs for the Twilight soundtrack & movie & I used to listen to them over and over and over and over and over again & reminisce losing my Robert Pattinson virginity (or was that fantasizing about losing my Robert Pattinson virginity? Hmmm. Same diff)

Remember when you used to get down & party with who we can assume is your poor, left out of the attractive Pattinson-gene-pool, cousin?

Remember when you got invited to the Oscars & THIS was the best moment of the night?

And of couse, Ahem, The Tuck (You’re welcome for not posting the picture)

And….. well, I got this far & then realized that The Ghost of Rob Pattinson Past is long. Or the ghost is busy. Or he was busy. Or maybe it’s a she. Or something. Like if I keep going, we’re gonna be here until Christmas. So until next time……I’ll be listening to Never Think on repeat, envisioning The Tuck and remembering the Ghost of Rob Pattinson’s Christmases- errrr- November to April, 2009 past.


Okay, you see what I did here! Now it’s YOUR turn. Keeping in mind we’re going to do this again with a Part 2 next week, what are some of your favorite “Ghosts” (aka hot moments. Yes I realize that analogy doesn’t work. Go with me. It’s the holiday spirit) of Rob Pattison’s Past starting at the “beginning” through April/May 2009?

Yo- you know how the Bite Me Edward notepads were 1/2 off in November? Well, we just got word that the sale was extended through December 15th! Whoo hoo! Pick up some (or some more!) for gifts! Bite Me Edward (no seriously)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

105 Commented

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