Water for Elephants Press Junket brings it’s A Game and I use the term “Pattinspoon”

Talking about elephants or something

Dear Rob,

At the risk of inciting the crazies, which  I already did by using the term “Pattinspoon” Sunday night, I gotta say I’m loving this Water for Elephants promo with you and Reese. It’s so laid back and “fun” Rob that I just can’t help myself. And I’m not trying to say a MARRIED Reese Witherspoon should try to get with you (more for the rest of us, duh!) I’m saying I love that she’s like a long lost Pattinson sister or maybe even a secret LTR reader who makes fun of you. I keep waiting for her to slip and call you “Claudia” or make you sit in the back seat of Dick’s car.

Sure we love the other press junkets cause you usually tell us interesting crap but for this WFE junket you’ve brought you’re A-game and so has Reese and so has the internet… so let’s stop wasting time and get to the best stuff from the WFE press junket…

Look at what we get…

Stories like this:
But what about the circus itself? “I really really like the fast food at circuses, I’m a big fan of hot dogs,” he jokes. “Seriously, I’ve only been to a circus once in my life: my sister told me the clown died when they did a stunt. I was only like 7 years old, so I freaked out when she said that. When she was 29 she told me that she made it up. But I was always knew that circus life is like a whole other world.”

BURN sister he told your age to a national publication!! Oh family dramz, gotta love it!

Singing songs like this:

Rob you can give me lines from Usher ANY DAY. This was MY JAM like 2 summers ago. MAN.

Interviews like this by a dude who’s almost as big a fanboy as Josh Horowitz from MTV…

Srsly, WHY are we not asked to interview you? We would come up with WAY better crap than this OR that dude from Extra WOW that one was bad!
.

Exchanges like this…

Interviewer: You had a chance to adjust to married life…
Reese: Have you adjusted to married life yet?
Rob: I haven’t really got used to it yet…
Reese: We’ve only been married for 5 days.. Oh, wait, you’re not married, are you?

pictures like this…

MILF-y Reese…

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you and Elephants! You kissing said elephant! When has Twilight ever rolled out a wolf or tracked down a real vampire for you to pose by? Amateurs!

I can only hope we keep getting this amazing stuff with WFE right about the corner! 17 Days till we finally get to see it all finally play out in front of us!

Thanks WFE Marketing and PR Team!
Themoonisdown

PS REALLY Rob stylists you gave him a LINEN jacket? Boys idea of a steamer does NOT involve Rowenta or Bissle.
.
Have you been loving the WFE press? What’s the best interview or question you’ve seen asked? And where in the world can Twilight find a real vampire for them to pose with? 🙂

Sources: Robsessed, A Dream, Crazy, some people I’m sure I missed

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Rob Pattinson & a Whole Lotta Rosie

Rob, it’s the holidays. Which means I spent yesterday driving 120 miles for work, then shopped for SIX hours. That means not only have I only seen the Water for Elephants trailer ONCE, but I haven’t had time yet to “Break it Down” yet with Moon. And that’s a travesty. Because your soft floppy hair must be discussed. Listen in as Cath & Draska take the reigns today:

Um, hot

Dear Rob,

We have been seriously swooning over the just released Water for Elephants trailer. That movie is going to be soooo good. We had already high hopes based on all the great set and candid pictures that came out while you were shooting it (well, except for the black socks and sandals combo). But sadly we’ll have to wait up to four months until we can see it in all it’s glory in the theater. So to soothe the waiting, we’d thought we’d talk a bit about your favorite co-star Tai, who plays Rosie, the elephant love of your life. (Dear Reese, we realize you’re his romantic lead, but this is Tai’s moment in the sun. Sure you don’t mind!).

As regulars at LTR may know, we have a history here in commenting about the great grey giants in the past. We even created Bobo (a hybrid between Bono and a baby elephant – please don’t ask-) and we christened the Details elephant Karla; we wish we’d remembered why…So obviously we love elephants and we’re very excited that you have an elephant co-star in this movie! By all reports she’s described as sweet, smart, talented, and gentle

A comment by an actress in WFE, Jackie Zane, a few months ago, really caught our attention. She said how nice you were (we heart that, although she left out the being incredibly hot part…but scroll down- she even mentions your giggling.). She also said that Tai seemed smitten with you and she sniffed your face with her trunk while you gently petted her. We do relate Tai, we do relate. We’ll leave it to that, before these double entendres get (any more) out of hand.

And then this!!! The lion was licking your arm?!? You must be some kind of wild animals (*cough* women *cough*)  whisperer….

But all jokes aside, of course Tai is smitten with you; she’s a smart girl! She knows something good when she sees it. And that lion, too; we’d lick your arm if that chance was offered to us…Would like to say that we were above that, but I’d be lying!

And see? Also a woman whisperer: Even in Polish. Your power rules over language barriers. We’d happily follow that request, anytime. Trust.

Also we couldn’t help but remember the infamous Details interview and what you described as ‘the best day of your life… beautiful, beautiful day’; when an elephant vacuumed your foot, purred at you, laughed and imitated horses, chickens and monkeys, wrote a screenplay, put your whole body upside down in her mouth and searched your pockets for peppermints (see pp. 5 and 6, of the article). What do you mean, that seems unrealistic??? You didn’t exaggerate quite so much??? Okay, we hear you. Don’t feel bad for being so enthusiastic about your new friend.

[BTW, I asked a zookeeper friend of mine about the sound and it’s more of an ultrasonic rumbling feeling than a purring sound, but what the heck, whatever you say Rob, purring it is –drsaka].
You loved that day and the elephant. Okay, we’re still jealous, but really impressed with your elephant experience.

In the meantime, please, please, please say that there is a picture out there of you like this Rob, please!

Can we see it? Pretty please It make the waiting seem shorter. AND we’ll sing you a song if you show it to us. Our own ode to the amazingness that’s your sweet and gentle co-star. (She’s our favorite too…) We hope that you enjoy it Rob!

Feel free to sing along:
Original music and lyrics to ‘Whole Lotta Rosie’ by AC/DC. Gentle modifications by us.

Let There Be Ellies!!!

Wanna tell you a story
‘Bout an elephant I know
Ah, come to sweetness
Ooh, she steals the show
She’s really gentle
With trunk to your face
Searched your pockets for peppermints
You could say she’s really the very best.

Never seen an ellie
Never seen an ellie like Rosie

Doing all the things
Doing all the things she does

Ain’t no fairy story
Ain’t no tall tale

But she gives it all she’s got
Your best, nicest co-star yet

You’re a whole lotta ellie
A whole lotta ellie
Whole lotta Rosie
Whole lotta Rosie
Whole lotta Rosie
And you’re a whole lotta ellie

Yours in vintage 1930’s style clothing (or out of it),
Cath and drsaka

How excited are you all for this movie? Doesn’t Rob look amazing in the trailer? Almost as good as Tai?  Would you lick his arm too or would you snuffle him elephant-style? Were you jealous of the Polish lady in the interview? Or of Tai or Reese, maybe even of Christopher Waltz??? Tell us!

Please see http://waterforelephantsfilm.com/ for interviews and picture credits.

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131 Commented

Breaking Down Rob’s Sad Panda face and then it all goes down hill

Dear Rob,

UC and I got to talking about your weekend paparazzi run-in (see that link for pictures) and we decided that your sad panda face had to be the product of something other than being followed around by some smelly dudes with cameras. We break it down and then get distracted…

UC: I just watched the pap vid. so sad! he seemed really upset
Moon: dude didnt he? it was weird, right?
UC: yeah…. like something must’ve happened…i thought of a few things- Kristen was somewhere near by… and he didn’t want to get caught (cuz just he & Steph in Malibu? odd) OR maybe he was having a mole checked and was embarrassed
Moon: hahahaha defs a mole. OR maybe he was having stomach issues and needed to stop in a CVS but didnt want the paps to take a pic of his diarrhea medication
UC: OR Nikki Reed asked him to pick up a preggers test… he didn’t want them to get the wrong impression
Moon: OR he really wanted to get another double double but was embarrassed that the paps already caught him at an in n out twice that day
UC: he dripped milkshake on his pants and it looked like he peed
Moon: and all he could think about was the cupcake pants snafu from Vancouver. he didnt need people thinking he had a premature ejaculation issue
UC: Dick is sick he got the news and just wanted to cry, but no one read through his “please go away first” sad panda face. All he wanted was a hug even if it was from a sweaty guy who smelled like falafal
Moon: HAHAHA falafel
c

Moon: he just finished the final episode of the OC after going on a bender and watching all 4 seasons in a weekend and he just wanted to drive down the PCH like Marissa and Ryan one last time
UC: Tom was waiting around another bend…. with fake blood poured over him like Marissa- they even had Cam hanging out a truck window- watching him fake die, but Rob was late for the scene….it was sad. They were gonna submit it to funny or Die. Or just keep it to watch once a year during “best Friend Week.” Memories!
Moon: the highway patrol got there first and started a murder investigation
UC: B/c Tom had passed out the heat plus the 3 double double’s he scarfed down himself when Rob went down the road to get gas which they naturally ran out of! They don’t know gallons- only liters. it can be confusing to be British living in the US
Moon: OR rob found out he wrote down the wrong date for comic con and realized he missed the unveiling of the new star wars boba fet figurine
UC: haha
Moon: they sold out in 5 minutes. sad
UC: he went to beach with Stephenie but forgot to bring back Kristen a little jar filled with sand.
She can be a bitch if she doesn’t get her sand. she adds it to her loquat pie… acts like an aphrodisiac …helps with the love making on the bear skin rug
Moon: its a cheap fiber substitute and with all their traveling they have to stay regular
UC: It works- thus the trip to CVS for Rob
c

UC: OR maybe… Rob stole Rosie (the elephant) but she escaped into the sea and he dind’t have insurance on her yet
Moon: he saw her near paradise cove in malibu, lured her to the car with his double double wrapper but couldnt fit her in the backseat
UC: he did pick up a baby seal though thought she could be friends with Jella- such a giving guy
UC: yes I just name dropped Kristen’s cat…. no I’m not a krisbian.. I just have an affinity for all cats
Moon: im not playing anymore you just named her cat. i think you may have taken the krisbian oath on FaceBook last weekend. I’m booking my flight to philly for the intervention
UC: hahahah its a CAT! I don’t discriminate!
Moon: i want to say i do… but i can’t. but it’s a cat. the only cat i love is hello kitty
Moon: that may have been a twimoms on oprah moment for you…if you send me pics of your new place and i see a red carpet in the basement- i’m on the next flight out!
c

Moon: What is all this talk about Rob’s peen on Twitter?
UC: people are INSISTING his penis is showing… some think it’s photoshopped, i think it’s a PHONE
Moon: where is this picture
UC: here (to the right)
Moon: ok, im way more into his sunglasses than looking at his maybe-peen
UC: i looked at the one you posted today…. there is clearly something SQUARE in his pocket which moved
Moon: IF that’s his peen it’s detached and floating around in his “R-Pants”
UC: I think it’s his phone. Someone could’ve photoshopped it.. i just think it’s a bad angle or good angle..whatever
Moon: dude it’s not attached to anything at the bottom
UC: like… LOOK AT it close up  it’s SQUARE
UC: also is Rob that much of an idiot that he’d free ball it.
Moon: this is a rhetorical question, right?
UC: oh THAT’S WHY HE WAS SO SAD… his HUGE PENIS was going to be PHOTOGRAPHED. he KNEW IT *sarcasm
Moon: he’s pissed they didnt get ENOUGH pics of his huge penis. he’s going to only wear a shirt next time
UC: Yes…. and carry a magnifying glass to point to that area
Moon: tom stu will walk next to him with a neon arrow on wheels

Yup… so this is what we think happened and why you were so distressed on that paparazzi video it wasn’t being followed around and annoyed non stop by dorks with cameras. It was all these reasons! We get it now!

Off to measure my backseat for an elephant,
Themoonisdown

So which reason was it… what is your reason (besides the obvi) for his sad freaked out face? SHARE!

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93 Commented